Informer: motives of denunciations of little intriguers ofof Informers are loved by nobody. What to do if your child does not miss an opportunity “ to report a situation “?
Complaint or denunciation?
In general, that means “ to peach “? Dictionaries interpret this word as “ to say slander and a slander “ and to you the word " will not meet anywhere; to complain “. But with the complaint, but not with slander the blubbered little son runs up to mother: “ Petya sprinkled me with sand! “ And what, as a rule, he hears in reply? “ It is bad to Peach! “ Mother is sure that she taught the son a life lesson, and the baby draws absolutely other conclusion: “ To Ask for help of mother it is useless “. The first brick in an alienation wall is put … Give - we will learn to distinguish when the kid peaches and when looks for attention and support or warns about danger.
we will tell age of the informer to
At once - still it is necessary to grow to a yabednichestvo! You want convincing arguments - welcome to excursion to the world of children`s psychology.
To 3 - x years. The silly little chap
Until the peanut is not three years old, in general it is impossible to pronounce the word " in his address; informer “. To make “ denunciation “ it is necessary at least to be able to tell and expect well consequences “ delivery with giblets “. That is the baby has to argue approximately so: “ Aha, Kolya did not give me the machine, and I will tell mother that he threw stones. Kolya will be punished! “
As whatever child prodigy you considered the child, similar “ vindictiveness “ from it you should not wait. Kids at this age actively fill up a lexicon and learn to understand the pronounced words. They are not able to expect yet that after it “ report “ wait for the offender “ sanctions “. So be quiet: telling you about others unseemly acts, the baby just shares what was seen. Without ulterior motive!
3 - 5 years. Black and white At this stage to one and all parents it seems to
that a proverb “ In others eye beheld a mote, and in the does not notice a log “ it is thought up about their child. The baby tirelessly tells, than were engaged kindergarten “ colleagues “ during the day, forgetting about the “ to the modest person “.
Calm down, the behavior of the child is quite normal. He entered in “ social “ a development stage when every day brings tens of new events, and the baby does not know yet, “ what is well and that it is bad “. Therefore shares information with dear people, expecting from them reaction. And mother with the father, in turn, have to explain what to tear off to head dolls as it is done by Vasya, - it is bad, it is not necessary to follow an example of him. And that Petya eats plasticine it is necessary to tell the teacher: at Petya the stomach will ache, unless we do not feel sorry for him?
“ Educating “ the kid, you teach it to distinguish a yabednichestvo from the prevention. To tell adults that boys climbed on a roof - the prevention (they can fall!) and it does not do to complain to the tutor of the boy who does not want to share candy -.
of 5 - 7 years. On the alert At the advanced preschool age the child to be already capable to expect
what reaction of adults will follow on this or that his act. However from this does not follow that he consciously wants “ to do much harm “ to the peer, “ having given out “ it “ illegal acts “ adult. In everyone “ slippery “ the situation needs to understand carefully especially as at this age at kids the self-assessment, and an offensive label " is formed; informer “ in a temper hung by parents, can do considerable troubles in its future adulthood.
Acquire simple truth: the real informers are the children deriving pleasure that their words became the reason of punishment of other child. Motives at little intriguers simple - personal benefit or simply “ feeling of deep moral satisfaction “.
We will take a typical situation: kids did not divide a toy, stronger took control of it “ fighter “. Having waited for an opportunity, “ won “ told almighty adults that “ victor “ ran on pools. The violator is stood in the corner, and the informer received in individual possession a toy …
I quite another matter when the child reasonably looks for the help at parents or tutors. If to reproach with a yabednichestvo, it is possible to lose his trust once and for all. You will not hear children`s complaints any more, but it will only aggravate a problem: now he has nobody to consult. What will turn back “ non-interference policy “?.
I listen and I will not obey
However many was years to the child, listen to his opinion, respect him, you praise as often as possible. Remember that often children who lack caress and attention become informers. “ Informing “ they try to compensate a lack of communication with parents and to feel own importance. And if “ native krovinochka “ frankly peached, counting that in just anger you will punish the offender, let know that you will not follow the tastes of the informer. And here to help with a difficult situation - always please!