What 10 main mistakes are made by people?Are mistaken everything. Such is an essence of human nature. We divide mistakes on small (you suddenly noticed - ouch - ouch - ouch! - that put a sweater on the wrong side) and large (you understood - how about that! - that the person whom you endowed with the love or trust does not deserve them at all), and we carry misses to the category silly if we consider that they could be expected in advance. But, alas, for some reason we repeat them again and again.
- I allow, can seem improbable that there is an opportunity to choose only ten main mistakes made by people from hundreds of thousands of misses and millions of nonsenses, - the doctor of medicine, the employee of the Center of the cognitive therapy (studying imagination and associative thinking says. - KP .) Pennsylvanian university Artur FREEMAN. - But there are specific errors of thinking which create for us new problems, aggravate existing and complicate searches of their decisions. Such miscalculations of thinking lead to the wrong interpretation of life experience, false judgments of other people and the wrong self-assessment. And if the person who is constantly not lucky at last understands what he does incorrectly, then good luck will surely face him.
1. The syndrome of a little chicken
Is such children`s tale. The nut fell to a little chicken from a tree and knocked on the head. But the chicken thought that all heavenly arch fell upon him. Similarly people often come to absolutely catastrophic conclusions, without taking the trouble to reflect at least for a minute on the subject “ Or perhaps I incorrectly understood something? “. The fright plunges the person into a condition of sincere and intellectual paralysis.
2. The thought-reading
One of the most carefully leleemy illusions is that we are sure of the ability to read foreign mind, and in ability of people around to be guided in tables of our soul. “ I will begin to tell nothing to it, he has to guess! “ - very widespread statement, permanently leading to deep disappointment when eventually it becomes clear that the person not only did not know what he allegedly has to make, but even did not suspect about what you expected from it.
3. Everything to refer tendency into the account
Many are ready to bear a personal responsibility absolutely for all events. They in the answer and for someone`s bad mood, and for bad weather, and for an earthquake at the world`s end. Naturally, they remain nothing else as soon as to become angry or be upset.
4. The self-confidence based on barefaced flattery of people around
the Miscalculation consists in the sacred confidence supported by flatterers that a certain achievement in some one area automatically guarantees success and in all other spheres of life without those efforts which were made for the first victory in due time.
5. Trust to critics
the Mistake opposite previous, but troubles delivers not less. It is that you without reasonings take on trust any criticism in the address, without reflecting: “ And judges who? “ - and whether in general there is in the nature your hypothetical Zoil? (Platon, Isokrat and Homer`s captious critic; the name Zoil became nominal for the spiteful critic).
This quality means a commitment to excellence in all areas. The thesis just remarkably sounds: hardly anyone - or will argue with the fact that establishment of high standards - business good. But insistence becomes inappropriate when your standards turn out so high that you cannot even approach their level. Therefore silly to strive for absolute perfection as a result to receive zero result.
7. Painful comparison
Comparison and detection of contrasts - a worthy way of the analysis of distinctions. But people often suffer because that pay attention only to those from them who speak not in their advantage or when they blindly take on trust negative estimates of people around. Such approach just discourages.
8. “ And that, if... “
Alarm! Alarm! Alarm! Here to what conducts thinking of the " type; And that, if... “. You are disturbed by something that does not exist at all or the probability of what is close to zero. Thus, reasonable alarms about health and welfare are supplemented with the empty efforts reducing the potential which you could use for opposition to real difficulties.
9. “ You have to! “
“ Has to “. The usual, daily word, but only not when it means the order which is not subject to discussion. Otherwise the most everyday word turns into the ukazuyushchy finger which is categorically demanding: “ Do not dare to evade from the specified way at least on the 100-th share of millimeter, you will bitterly regret not that! You will be guilty, it will be a shame to you! “ People who often apply in relation to themselves the word “ has to “ build around themselves prison walls. They are so concentrated that have to or would have to make in the past that they just do not have time to reflect as it becomes in the present and that they should make in the future.
10. “ Yes, but... “
of People, often using such expression, always and finds some negative sides which outweigh all positive in everything, or composes fantastic justifications to any negative phenomena. Persons of this stamp often block the road surrounding and to themselves.
As to correct everything
Process of change of the wrong manner of thinking differs in nothing from correction of bad habits of behavior. “ In our forces to develop the new traditions healthier and useful, than old, - doctor Freeman considers. - The most difficult consists not in refusal of addictions of thinking and even not in assimilation new, and in finishing them to automatism. It is all the same what to learn it is correct to hold a tennis racket. The trainer will deliver you a hand, and you without any work will hold a racket as follows, but only until you think of it. And the main thing - to achieve to change the wrong capture in the middle of a difficult match. And practice is for this purpose necessary. As well as for correction of vital mistakes “.]