How to learn to give and accept love? Part 1.of the Man and the woman, as a rule, do not understand that their emotional requirements are various. As a result the instinct does not prompt to them how to support each other. Usually men put in the relations with the partner what is necessary and what men want, and women - what is necessary and what women want. Each of them makes a mistake, believing as if and at another the same desires and requirements.
Both men, and women feel same: here I give all myself, and I receive instead of nothing. It seems to everyone that the partner does not recognize and does not appreciate their love. And the truth consists that both though give mutually the love, but not as another would like.
For example, the woman thinks that she shows the love to the partner when asks him one million careful questions or looks at him with concerned expression on a face. It can be rather unpleasant for the man. He will feel “ under a " cap; also will move away. The woman does not understand in what business: if also cared for her, she would only be grateful. Its efforts to show the love at best are ignored, and in the worst - cause irritation.
When men get down to business, they think too that they show the love, but from similar manifestations the woman feels lonely, left to the mercy of fate. For example, when the woman is upset, manifestation of love and care from the partner is reduced to the comments urged to bring to naught importance of the problems disturbing her. He can tell: “ Yes do not worry you, it is such nonsense “. Or it is even perfect to ignore it, believing what thereby gives to the partner an opportunity to visit its cave and there to recover. What the man considers as support appears for the woman neglect, disrespect, dislike.
The majority of our emotional requirements can be reduced to such formula: need for love. Both at men, and is available for women about six such, peculiar for everyone and equally important, requirements. Men mainly need trust, acceptance their such what they are appreciation, admiration, approval and encouragement. First of all the care, understanding, respect, devotion, recognition and a reinforcement of self-confidence and that everything is good are required for women. To imagine what our partner needs, - a task very difficult, but it will considerably be facilitated if we understand these twelve kinds of needs for love and we will understand them.
Having studied the list which is given below, you will easily guess why to your partner or the partner can seem that it is not loved. And that the most important - this list will specify to you the direction in which it is necessary to work to improve your relations with the representative of an opposite sex when you, perhaps, already absolutely lowered hands.
Certainly, in general each man and each woman need all these twelve kinds of love. And listed in especially “ female “ to a column are also important also for men. And vice versa. Speaking “ prime requirements “ I mean that only in case of their satisfaction the person is capable to perceive and appreciate other kinds of love really.
The man begins to perceive and appreciate really those six kinds of love which are prime for women (care, understanding, respect, devotion, recognition and a reinforcement of confidence) only after his own priority requirements are satisfied. And, respectively, the woman also needs trust, acceptance such what she is appreciation, admiration, approval and encouragement. But in order that she could estimate them properly, at first her prime requirements have to be satisfied.
Seeing these changes in the girlfriend, and he begins to feel that really trust it. Means, believe that the man does everything depending on him that his darling it was best. When reaction of the woman reflects such belief, the prime need of the man is satisfied, and automatically he becomes more attentive to its feelings and inquiries.
When the woman meets the man by love, without trying to change it, he feels that it is accepted with all his pluses and minuses. The partner does not consider it as an ideal at all, but lets know: it does not gather “ to improve “ it, believing that the man will make it. At such relation it is much easier for it to listen to the partner and to understand her expectations, - and it what she needs.
To be continued]