If the friend appeared suddenly... Lay down have a sleep and everything will pass?In the articles “How to Help the Child with Study“ we concerned very interesting, in my opinion, subject: how to explain him difficult life situations, to explain on what ourselves needed years of bitter experience and reflections. At once I will tell that conversations in an embrace on a sofa not always help, though they have some pedagogical and, more, psychological value. But in general, it will bore the child before you pass to semantic part of a monologue (and conversations on a sofa, as a rule, are very viscous monologues of the parent about meaning of life of life).
It not absolutely the fact that it is necessary for it. The child needs a reinforcement of your words, a certain action which confirms them, his eyes and ears too have to believe your words. And here tranquility - your bargaining chip. Your reaction to a signal of the child has to be timely, but not lightning.
For example, your son came from school sad and in a fit of temper complained that he has no friends because his dear friend Vasya spent the whole day with Eliseus any more, without paying any attention to sufferings of your offspring who is dangling nearby.
The first reaction of mother to such news - to protect the child, to attack: “Well and let, you will find still friends. He always wags a tail, is on friendly terms with one, with another. Vaughan Vitalik is the good guy and the excellent student“. But business - that that your son wants to be on friendly terms with Vasya and at heart you - that know that Vasya - the most ordinary guy, nothing to your son not menacing.
To us, parents, at times it seems that other people`s children only also are created to offend ours or to subordinate them. Especially, if our child can act as conducted. And if among kids it is shown by direct collision, then in process of intellectual growth methods are improved: Beautiful Mind, such rehearsal of adulthood begin.
At once I will make a reservation that I am not an adherent of the theory that all children - the suns and hares. As the Little Red Riding Hood in the famous movie spoke: “And I would tear out you horoshenechko! Because you are an unpleasant child“. There are unpleasant children, it is the fact. The speech, of course, goes only about character. As we spoke earlier, to silly accuse the child of his character, but not in our forces to re-educate other people`s children.
And in ours - to teach the child to distinguish such people and to hold the heart on the lock for them. And only for them. But in any way not to mix flies with cutlets. That is not to rank the friends as villains only because they do not spin around us as Earth around the Sun .
It is very difficult, it is not always possible also to adults, but it is worth trying.
How to arrive? I Believe, first of all, to learn whether two companions quarreled. Your further actions will depend on it and if is not present, then leave the sighing jealous man alone with yourself. But for a while.
If the melancholy of the child does not pass throughout a couple of hours, then, obviously, experiences completely absorbed him. Someone can decide that all will pass and it is not dangerous. As they say: “Lay down have a sleep and everything will pass“. I so do not consider because how the child will endure the first experience of painful feelings, his further resilience and behavior model depends . You were lucky to become the witness of such moment.
Of course, it will not lie on a sofa eternally. Of course, it will be restored. But he will not understand, that brought it into so sad mood. In soul he will consider the friend as the traitor, to feel mistrust and concern even if will forgive him. Also do not bring My God, the situation will repeat, and it by all means will repeat.
What to make? Suggest the son to go to the cinema, remember that long ago ski boots wanted to buy, in other words, - distract him. Yes, to distract as small. Of course, your offer will seem grieving untimely, of course, he sadly will take of you a view, but, well, will agree to entertain him a little bit. As a rule, they agree.
And when you cheerfully walk from cinema (with boots) and your child will punch to you a brain the impressions of the movie, can consider, it a half of a victory. But finally to close this subject, it is necessary to make still which - that. Having come home, remind him … of Vasya.
“Watch what piece turns out. Vasya played the whole day with Eliseus. You were upset. And now you are cheerful though Vasya all the same played all day with Eliseus as the fact. The situation did not change, and the mood improved. Cool, huh? you Know why? Because ourselves are responsible for the mood! The facts exist in itself, they not bad and not good, they it is simple to eat also all. And here is how to treat them - your business. You are an owner of the mood, and not vice versa. You can look at the same events differently: in tears or with a smile. But think if it is serious, then Vasya had the right to play with Eliseus, and? As well as you! You can play with Eliseus too if you want, or from Valerkaya, or even from Nadenkaya. I would not advise you to pout at the friend while for this purpose there are no strong reasons. It not treachery. So if you want, call him on a visit on Saturday“.
And here if your son calls - to Vasya and will call him - it will be a clear unconditional victory of strength of mind over a depression. Because that will surely come and will eat all that he in the refrigerator, will hurt the forehead and your chandelier and will stay till the evening. Vasya it is loved.