The misanthrope on holiday ofEh, it is good on holiday: to be disconnected, be cut down, to drop out of all rhythms and speeds! For two weeks to become unsociable persons and hermits from all and all. Not to see, not to hear, not to inhale all that it was compelled, obliged, forced.
To switch-off phone not to hear, to switch off the TV not to see, itself to cut off from everything that, maybe, on the contrary, something to hear and something to see. To dive and, having held the breath as far as possible, not to come up longer on a life surface. To remain alone only with the thoughts, at last, to begin to hear and feel.
Nearly two weeks there was an intolerable, African heat: the thermometer on the sun showed +35-38. A neck and a breast constantly wet and sticky from sweat. At night, without maintaining closeness and swimming in own juice, in the buff, swearing, you rush on a bare floor, only palming off a pillow under the head to find though some simplification. Yesterday, at last, on radio promised no more than 30, and already today you feel in a different way.
Today, after a week break, I turn on the TV and already in half an hour I feel discomfort, bewilderment, rage. The world, appears, and spins further, and nonsense - its integral fuel.
In all news, after death of tens of Chinese at some there chemical plant and before the fires across all Eastern Siberia, certain Vodianov` family, one of the members of which suffering from autism showed the door from cafe in Nizhny Novgorod. Yes, it is ugly and wrong - to raise and develop still to us, not in the spirit of humane tendencies of everything that there are in Russia last hundred years. And it is far to us with our life to rotting Evrop and America with their hyper humane attitude towards those at whom a Down syndrome or HIV. But when I hear that against the owner of cafe criminal case and this odious incident is brought does not descend from screens which put, I understand again what in Russia to nedobdit and about it to trumpet will equal same “to perebdit“ with the same resonance in mass media.
Or the owner - the director of cafe has no right to choose, on quite clear mercantile and odious, but nevertheless again to clear and logical reasons who will sit at it in cafe and whom he has the right to ask it to leave? It turns out that if I ask my neighbor who came to me on a visit to tea to our hostel because of a bad smell from a mouth or just tomorrow because I want to sleep, to leave home, it, dear visitor, can be indignant and file a lawsuit against me for humiliation of honor and advantage. And I, in “number - luxury“ such mercantile and such sleepy, can remove from the apartment to Lefortovo, under ringing timpani watching, sleeping, but sometimes nevertheless the Russian masses, waking up and bad on all head, - media. And sense of arguments of an adverse party nobody began to listen - so all were highly excited as if they arrived from Mars, but did not live in the country of Russia.
Before fulfilled more than six years with people with a hearing disorder and speeches (deaf-mutes), I, as well as many of us, it was extremely romaticized and sensibilizirovan in relation to them. Considered that the people who do not have an opportunity and ability to speak and hear is the lishenets who are very suffering from the physical defects as they should live and work with us, people with normal hearing and the speech. Sincerely sympathized with them, even somehow at the beginning of work with them sincerely was indignant and went to sort out the relations with the one who spoke with voices raised with one of them. So far after time did not begin to understand that, in - the first, THEIR misfortune - in our eyes (it we from “belltowers“ having normal hearing and the speech, allocate them with the feelings and experiences, and the majority of them them are that and it are deprived - any high suffering as the person, since the birth who does not have legs has no ability to suffer from - for their absence).
In - the second, many of them were not lishenets and derelicts as it is considered to be at the suggestion of some neurotic journalists and a raznogorod of people with the rich imagination, and had both privileges, and privileges, and forgiveness with understanding in the opinion of society. It they, poor, but not I, normal, had the right for extraordinary and free housing. It to them, but not me, delay for work, family scandals and fights said goodbye. And many of them whom I had an opportunity to observe daily did not suffer from the “awful situation“ at all, and used and enjoyed it as does not suffer, and just there lives a person, never or long ago able to hear or plainly to speak. By and large, this our suffering, but not THEM is here in what business.
And then when I in million time hear that the patient with a Down syndrome or with AIDS has the same rights, as I - I have to, is simply obliged to communicate with it and to suffer it for this reason, at all my tolerance and empathy to the people deprived of something and the patient I do not want to do it and I consider it as perversion. Because then NORMA is reduced to NEDONORMY or ABNORMY, equalizing them in everything in what it is possible and it is impossible, and the person normal as it equal to the one who is not able to podteret for himself saliva or who has no concept of feeling of civic consciousness and a debt at all becomes the derelict in that case. Forgive, in certain cases - all the same what to equate remarkable, beautiful, clever, but a monkey, to the person, having forgotten about all distinctions.
Or other, noble and trite news at the same time (noble - because began so loftily, and ended as everything comes to an end in Russia - through... and scandal), news about the blind girl and her friend - the guide - the Labrador who was stolen and who was looked for nearly by all country.
Everything began so light-, it is so pure, so touching: the girl - the disabled person at whom took away a dog, deputies and the aktrisk wandering from current - show in current - the shows promising to help and punish, disinterested search of a dog by thousands of volunteers - directly touching Rodya Gazmanov with the Lucie: “the dog was gone - help to find! “ And ended with the fact that on screens the malicious criminal - the thief of a dog, behind bars and in handcuffs, not the person, and a fiend which artfully kidnapped the friend - a dog at the unfortunate girl - the disabled person as the Russian mass media shouted in all bad voices loomed. Theft of a dog under doubtful circumstances and the person already behind bars and in handcuffs to which threatens from “two till five years of imprisonment“ “because business received a wide resonance“! And if business received a smaller resonance, it would be threatened by less? Year? Two? And if all twenty reached the president Putin, then?
“It is the country such or it is the world such?“ - in vain and fondly I question again. And while I have still time, switch off a box and I follow cold beer because it became suddenly insufferably stuffy - whether again from weather, whether from gloomy nonsense which does not descend from screens of the Russian television.