How to help the child with study? Do not compare it to others!As you will belong, kind parents, to if I tell you that Lermontov at your age already managed to become “star“ and even to die, and all of you sit and, in my opinion, are an example of full gloomy slovenliness? That you incorrectly raise children, you have a small salary. What here Vasya - Kasya parents carry worldwide and almost already bought him the jeep, and you to the old scooter of the son do not primotat a wheel in any way two years because behind an adhesive tape you forget to come...
Versions of answers can be the most various, from attempts to justify oneself before direct attack with the axe, but you unambiguously will not run in book behind the textbook on writing to understand differences Yamba from a trochee, the truth? At most, what you will make - buy an adhesive tape.
And your child will not begin to study on the example of foreign child just because:
1. “Vasya - Kasya the genius, and I am just a child“.
2. “Vasya - Kasya is engaged in what to me in general is uninteresting and it is not necessary on life“.
3. “To Vasya - Kasya mother helps, he only also is busy that does homework, and he has no music school and soccer after lessons, and Maryivanna loves him for it and puts the five just like that, and still … and …“.
4. “What to me put to Vasya - Kasya, I am not on friendly terms with him at all, he is a fool and stinks“.
In other words, at most, that you will bring up this comparison, it is very useful and attracting people qualities, such as rage, envy and sensitivity. It is known that pulls people in the majority (we will not speak for all) to catch someone`s bad example, and not vice versa. It is natural and explainable. Therefore:
6. Do not compare the child to other people`s children. Neither with good, nor with bad, especially, with the family by birth. Because in this case surely someone will lose. to Lose
offensively. It is natural to take offense at offense. To be discharged of the offender - normal reaction. It is what you also will achieve as a result, constantly putting examples of more appeasable schoolmates before the child.
It is also natural to rejoice to the progress. It is twice pleasant if you know that mad work is behind this success, work it is unceasing, overcoming itself. As friendly pat on a shoulder with words costs much: “Here we swore at you yesterday - swore, sobbed - sobbed and nearly fought, but - that worked a subject ideally! Also watch what result: two options in 15 minutes! You did not solve examples! You crushed them! As in “A Word of tenks“ Ha!“
Should not pass by great success of the child. Moreover, remember former progress when he meets new difficulties: “Then could and now you will be able what you rage - that, even became green how got out of a bog?! Here if you start whining instead of starting working, then you can definitely do nothing. Because all forces on slobber will leave. You know slobber how many forces can take away? All life! So take the book, to a musye, sit down! Now you with the daddy will suit to this problem the Armageddon“.
7. “The truth at all the“.
you Remember dialogue the truth of the old Jedi of Ob - Van Kenobi with young Luke Skywalker from “Star wars“? I will remind.
- Why you lay to me, having told that my father died?
- What I told was the truth. From a certain point of view.
- From a certain point of view?
- Luke, here you will see itself that our many truth depends on a certain point of view!
I the point of view of the teacher about abilities of your child can cardinally not coincide with yours. One is unambiguous: all have the right for the point of view, but nobody has the right to humiliate the child. Nobody has the right to set on it the seal “quality control did not take place“. And he has to understand the last accurately itself, knowing well what to go forward, it is always possible to develop, aspire, irrespective of the place, time and the teacher.
The fact is also that in the opinion of the teacher only the child the work really can “tower“. But not the mother who charged herself all project works of a class. I assure you, it is possible to do nothing for a class, but if the child works, the good teacher will never underestimate to it estimates for your indifference in class life. All his discontent will pour out on your concrete head at meeting.
As a rule, the normal teacher will always estimate efforts. Moreover, it is natural to the good teacher “three“ not to give to relax to the excellent student and “four“ to encourage very mediocre, but honest work of the poor student. Discuss policy of the teacher with him at meeting.
Never involve the child in dismantling with the teacher. If you are not going to change school, do not speak of the teacher negatively. Anyway never humiliate its advantage with phrases of type: “Here when will give birth to the children then will understand how they should be learned, an old blue stocking“ because to teach this person your child. And whether the child will listen to the teacher who is publicly “lowered“ by mother? I doubt.
The termination follows...