Rus Articles Journal

In programmers I would go, let I will be taught. How is to workers “a computer and Klava“? Part 1

our often quite boring life is remarkable already the fact that it is unpredictable: never you know actually on what Coast of the Ivory you from clear will appear already in foggy today tomorrow. And even such stable conservatives as I to which everything about this “the best of the worlds“ is clear long ago it can bring to white heat genuine pleasure or hatred. Well, on that it and life, but not eternal rest, isn`t it?

If to me, the modest English teacher who is earning additionally on bread and butter private home lessons to ten that was told years that I will become the dealer in brains - I will sell developers of “software“ on the West, to be engaged in “outsourcing“ and “outstaffing“ and to keep projects for hundreds of thousands of American rubles, I as the true skeptic, quietly grinned and would call all this the got lost imagination of the dreamer who lost hold on reality. Well, what I am “outsourcer“? What I am “autstaffer“?

However destiny - a turkey, having whimsically waved a motley wing, disposed so that, wandering by the rough Seas of Marketing, coming into bays of Archipelagoes of Sale and cannibalistic Islands of Sales on the planet under the name Work, after the next ship-wreck me, hardly live, an abrupt wave washed ashore pastures of Heaven under the name the Promised Land of Programmers.

I gradually recovered, looked round on the parties and began to study customs and customs of the tribe young and hitherto to me unfamiliar.

It is necessary to tell that I already which - that heard about the Programmers living somewhere on the edge of the earth between Atlantis of that time and the present West, as about the most advanced and successful people of the present. Said that their life is cloudless and free, they eat a lot of all best that Earth can only give rise, travel, knowing no limit and that long ago live at democracy about which they at us only speak.

To admit, to me it was hardly trusted in such miracles as around myself I only also saw that fight for a survival when people were forced to live from a salary and to a salary, to go for work by the bus, but not by own car, to use outdated models of computers instead of modern, cheap mobile phones, instead of iPhones etc.

Now when I lived among Programmers about a year, got used to their manners and habits, here what interesting supervision I made...


the Programmer typical - usually or a thin constitution, with plokhorazvity muscles, or, on the contrary, suffers from excess weight and has the same underdeveloped muscles, as well as the first. The most developed parts of a body at the programmer is a forefinger of the right hand and as they speak, the head as they should work with them most of all. However, the last raised at me at once some doubts as if the programmer really fine is active a forefinger of the right hand, then the head he often does not understand the simplest human questions, and he should explain what you mean.

The programmer, as a rule, wears shabby jeans and the same bedraggled tennis shirt, it is frequent with a three-day bristle on a face and the grease, the day before yesterday brushed hair. However, it is necessary to notice that the tribe of programmers, just as at us, is broken into unrecognized castes and estates, and for example, the caste of Mobile Developers looks slightly more tidy than the others: they can put on in the same jeans and tennis shirts, but only pure and in the latest fashion, to carry the trimmed small beards, and chubchik on the head pomaded on a face. Or, for example, they for some reason shave bare to themselves the heads, but beards - most likely, only for the sake of fashion let grow.

the Voice and temperament


are Told by programmers, as a rule, quietly and inexpressively. Their manners are also slow and are even slowed down. First I in general had a feeling that nervous signals reach their brain with some delay, both already on the way muffled and weakened.

The most widespread temperament - phlegmatic, most likely, created thanks to their constant absorption in a code. Not for nothing the average programmer the most part of time lives in the computer, only occasionally leaving it to smoke in a smoking-room, to buy in the nearest shop food under the name “Cola“, “Snicker`s“ and “Lay`s“ or to ship itself in other virtual reality, it seems 6 - the D cinema, the TV or other computer.


, despite youth, the programmer, as a rule, cannot brag of Health. In spite of the fact that fitness - the club, or in our opinion the gym, can be at the programmer on that place where it works, he visits him extremely seldom and reluctantly. And having visited, it is frequent instead of swinging the weak muscles or to lose excess weight, the programmer uses this time for talk on a code, architecture and the analysis.

At the very beginning of the stay I noticed that almost all of them accept some “wheels“ - tablets. On a table of everyone among empty bottles from “Coca“ and candy wrappers from “Snickers“ it was possible to make out some soothing, eye drops or stimulators. the Mode and nature of food

As I noted

at once, the programmer - a being night or twilight. If it is not shipped in any project which is not meeting the deadline, for work he creeps out before noon and stays there till late evening, sometimes working at night. It is long shaken, discussing the same a code, architecture or a mobile application with which he is busy now, thumbs through on the Internet some news, besides on programming, goes to smoke and only then gets to work.

The most part of time the programmer eats coffee. In many programmer offices even conduct statistics of the “eaten“ cups of coffee, hanging out them on the websites, finding very amusing and an indicator of efficiency of the programmer. Except coffee, in a diet of the programmer chips, rolls, chocolate bars, hamburgers, pizza prevail. The concept “healthy food“ at the majority of them does not exist. For example, I repeatedly tried to offer apples, but everything as one, refused them as if thought that they are poisoned. And here cigarettes or “Snickerses“ from hands took. If they have problems with digestion or other part of an organism, not the diet and works changes, and the ubiquitous pill is taken.

Be continued.