Why the Russian families break up?Divorce - the social phenomenon which was rare among the population of Russia fifty years ago. What changed today? Why more than a half got married break up?
Digression to history
of Such depressing situation with stains in our country never before was. In imperial Russia the woman and the man were connected not only high feelings and a family debt, but also big economy and the general living space. It was not favorable to divide the acquired good at all therefore popular wisdom was “love comes with habit“ checked many decades and not in one hundred strong marriages. And the Church, and there at that time was engaged in divorce proceedings as we know to get permission was not so - that simply.
The Soviet power made life of the people simpler, however, not so as some would like. It became simpler to divorce, but it could spoil strongly reputation, to especially party workers. Political career was illusive dream for the people who did not have a family or persons interested to divorce.
With collapse of the USSR when in the country traditional family foundations were replaced by the western liberal ideas, divorce became the ordinary phenomenon. Now it is a freedom of choice. More nobody has the right to attempt upon private life of the individual - neither church, nor the state. Personal desires and aspirations came to the forefront, having run on the heads to social and family values. The family stopped being the place of rescue and a survival. The woman can provide herself what to speak about the man.
Fear - a driving force. Often he forced the woman to suffer all adversities of family life - alcoholism of the husband, a beating, the humiliating address. What was the woman afraid of? Public censure, condemnation of priests, exile, loneliness, problems connected with education and care of children. Today a lot of things seem not such terrible, even absolutely habitual. Having endured war, many understood that it is not so terrible to be left without man and it is quite possible to survive.
So why more than a half of families breaks up in a peace time when, apparently, it is possible to live and rejoice. One of the main reasons - early marriages. On average, girls marry in 22 years, men in 25 years. Young people graduated from school, then university, and all this time, as a rule, they were in charge and service of parents. Having fallen in love, they were solved on marriage, completely being not ready to it. The young family dreaming of love until the end of life meets the first difficulties, and the family boat “breaks against life“. The lack of mutual understanding, fatigue, shortage of material resources, efforts connected with the child`s birth - is too much negative factors. Without having found solutions in the joint way, people make the decision to leave.
Or other situation - a wedding on pregnancy. Already habitual phenomenon. The feeling of love closes eyes to young people, and it seems that for this person it is ready to go to the world`s end. But “having a little sobered up“, having returned to reality, suddenly it appears, this is not the hero of my novel at all.
One more of the reasons of disintegration of families - absence of trust, jealousy. It can be both justified, and causeless. When the spouse exhausts the half daily scenes of jealousy, checks, watches - hardly such family will last long if partners do not manage to agree. There is also a reverse side, it is change. The spouse is difficult to be forgiven and accepted in a family of the partner who made a mistake and it is often easier to break off vital bonds of marriage.
Alcoholism, drug addiction, game dependence - one more occasion to submit the petition for divorce. Men have often these diseases, and wives actively perform a rescue operation and extend darling from this of “bog“. Promuchivshis not one year, the woman makes the decision to leave to rescue itself and the child.
Fortunately, not everything is so sad. In Russia active support of families in crisis situations is conducted, the help of psychologists becomes more available, psychological literacy of the population increases. There is a wish to believe that all these measures will promote overcoming of family crises and preservation of a family.