What it, maternal love?Once in social networks the publication of one familiar woman which brings up the small child caught sight to me and decided to write the impressions about motherhood, a peculiar confession of mother. When read up up to the end, in eyes there were tears. But is not present, not tears of emotion from sincere and sacrificial maternal love, and a tear of indignation and misunderstanding.
What so hooked in the publication? The phrase that she loves the small child some special love. And then continuation about what it clever and educated as studied books on education of children. But at the same time she runs from the house for work with big pleasure, hides from the child in a bathroom or on a balcony with a cigarette. And also is angry and shouts for the fact that the little child does not want to eat what she so long prepared, on the road runs, without stopping, falls and does not want “to agree“ in any way. It slaps him for the fact that he does not obey though he knows from books what so cannot be done.
She hates it for the fact that during the next hysterics it desperately hits her in the face or in a stomach. And as it is heavy when the child is hospitalized and it is necessary to lie near him. And as she is grateful to technical progress for the fact that there are animated films, tablets because at it appears a little free time and rest. And, eventually, as she is grateful to all relatives who take part in education of her child.
The most interesting that its publication received a huge number of responses with admiration and gratitude that it could tell about the feelings here so publicly. Some readers wrote that they test the same. Means, such feelings are very widespread among young mothers.
Why I all - pay? I understand that to each mother it is heavy with small children, but at everyone the relation to it. I look at a photo of the little smiling boy and I think: “And what it would be if grew? Now he could already be 10 years old“. But will never be.
I remember the closed door before oncological reanimation where mothers gathered and waited when there are nurses to take away drugs and food. And mother Ira who asked all: “And you have what chances? And we chances are not given. Told - prepare“. And already even without tears, only with pain, told about how wanted the child as it had two abortions, and here at last the third attempt was successful. As the boy was born and they with the husband existed the happiest. As she did not feel fatigue of sleepless nights at all. And when she was told that the boy has a congenital malignant tumor and it is necessary to operate urgently, but there are practically no chances. Some time with the boy in chamber the father because it could not believe that her long-awaited son can have such diagnosis lay. She just lay at home and could not get out of a bed, but then got it together. They consulted at the best doctors, looked for nonconventional methods of treatment.
After a while Ira came running and joyfully told all that they are taken on operation in Germany. Other mothers with undisguised envy looked and asked: “From where you have 100 thousand euros?“ She answered nothing. Told only one: “Here we chances are not given, and there 1 chance from one million. If I have it, I use it. What difference how many it will cost?“ After operation in Germany it still joyfully wrote how they feel as they collect many a little on rehabilitation. She used the chance which gave two more years of life. And then at the boy metastasises went … Consider
that all women have a congenital maternal instinct. And whether really it is or it is the myth which nobody wants to discredit? The maternal instinct is described as congenital need for care of the children. At the same time the woman derives pleasure from communication with the child. The girl gets experience of motherhood in the early childhood in the course of communication with the mother and supervision over other women. Are born women, and become mothers.
To become mother, the personal emotional maturity and readiness is necessary. Whether I wanted to hear a similar confession from the mother? Probably, no.