Rus Articles Journal

We quarrel and clash? Follow rules

Why close people quarrel? Whether it is possible to fight against this negative phenomenon somehow? If the conflict ran high how to avoid irreversible consequences?

The reasons for quarrels the huge number, is even more lack of those. “In each house the rattles“, - popular wisdom says. Sense of a proverb is as follows: the reasons of the conflicts in each family are individual. We can appear in the power of misunderstanding, just competitive spirit or just we have hot temperament, instantly flashing from any spark. Also, statistically, the most common cause of family scandals - money.

Whatever there was a quarrel reason, it is important to follow a number of the councils helping to keep self-control and not to appear on a warpath. Code you feel that you begin to boil for offense and anger, urgently take a number of protective measures, otherwise you risk not only to destroy all ware in the house, but also good relations with people close to you.

1. It is possible to exhaust in such ways:

- count to 10 or if it is required, to 100;

- go to walk;

- calm down, having listened to pleasant music;

- take a bath, watch the kind movie.

2. Do not carp at trifles. If to quarrel, then for the serious reason.

3. “Where there is no more firewood - fire will go out“. Stop dispute until you crossed the border. Look for a compromise in any controversial issues. The criticism is very harmful. We already are in the world where we are criticized everywhere. Therefore the criticism sounding at home can turn back explosion of nervous system of your partner in life.

4. It is possible to tell about spouses who in communication do not disdain evil tongue: “are married under the law, but not on feeling“. Insults, though do not leave scars on a body, will wound in the heart. These scars do not heal and bleed all life. Researches show that women whom the husband subjects to insults are subject to serious diseases.

5. Any dispute can be settled, having quietly talked. Instead of considering disagreements as an appeal “Hurrah! In attack!“, look at the conflict as on an opportunity to know the partner in life better. You learn to listen quietly and attentively to each other.

But how to be if the conflict everything is inflamed? If you decided that it is necessary to sort out the relations, act frankly, following rules of “fight“.

Place . For a start define the place for quarrel. It is forbidden to swear at children, guests, parents.

Time . Do not shelve a showdown. Do not give time to inflate offense to the tsunami sizes.

Purpose . You remember the conflict purpose. It is important to reach mutual understanding, but not to prove own case at any cost. Be ready to recognize also the mistakes if it is required. Having found out and having solved a problem, forget. You should not act by the principle: “I forgive, but to death I will not forget“.

Low blows:

“To drive into a corner“. When the rival does not see for himself an opportunity to lose adequately, he from the principle will resist to the last. And it means that the conflict risks to become infinite.

to Rake over the past. It is also impossible to remember affairs of the forgotten times long ago. You do not stir what was already solved and settled, otherwise competition who will remember more offenses and will more offensively speak will begin. It is forbidden to rush the charges which are taking away from a conflict essence.

Attack on the mother-in-law or the mother-in-law, other relatives will bar a way for peace-making.

not to threaten, for example, with divorce at each opportunity.

“Before teasing a cobra, think over a way for retreat“. This saying learns not to be impulsive, to think of consequences and to be far-sighted.

Applying the listed above rules, you can be sure that the victory will be behind peace and harmony.

“Conflict? Trifles, that`s nothing unusual“ (Carlson).