Why it is important to state offenses?all Take offense from time to time. But not all realize that it - not only is unpleasant, but also is harmful: for an organism, for health, for the relations. Therefore it is always necessary to speak about offenses, and the earlier - the better.
We, women, constantly take offense: sometimes apropos, sometimes - it is far-fetched. But every time offense painfully responds in soul, leaves the heavy, unpleasant and burdening deposit. And any trifle can give rise to offense, and here forget it, forgive and dismiss happens sometimes very much and very difficult.
The offense arises when limits of our attitude are broken. you that for you men breakfasts in a bed were made Here got used, and he takes and does not prepare, and you take offense, think that he loves insufficiently, does not want to make pleasant, to surprise. You are silent and pout. You wait: maybe will guess-? But he does not read mind, and therefore, of course, the situation does not change and the offense increases, increases as if a snowball …
A then at one not fine moment the avalanche descends and destroys everything on the way. With the freight of constant not contents which is saved up for long time you make the decision to leave him to find more attentive and sensitive. But he will not understand: in what the reason of such decision? Everything was normal (or, at least, it is stable). From what suddenly a gap? And it was not normal, just did not speak about it aloud.
Here one of the reasons why it is important to state each other everything that collected. If there are moments which do not arrange, it is necessary just quietly and in details to discuss them and to think over what to change that arranged each of two. Otherwise the worm of offense will sharpen long and meticulously pure feelings until they come to naught at all.
Besides, the offense is a stress . Improbable stress for an organism: both physical, and psychological. And constantly staying in a negative at the time when we take offense, we even more ourselves wind and by that we aggravate the state. Scrolling a situation or words which touched, several times in the head, we are exhausted energetically. Therefore it is better to exhaust, state the feelings, to explain what offended and to release a situation, at last.
Other person can even not guess that he offended (if it was not intentionally). The offense is, in fact, not that it is told, and how we perceive it. One woman, for example, will not pay attention if her young man smiles to somebody, and another will go into a hysterics. It is better to place points on “i“ at once: that is unpleasant to me and it, it offends me. To so understand the reason of offense and more it will be much easier be not to provoked, than to guess.
Besides, most strongly we take offense at the most favourite, at those whose actions and words have on us a great influence. So to whom how not to the loved one to tell what weighs and torments?
It is desirable to state offenses at once. So it is easier to release them. And so they will manage to do less harm to nerves and health. To keep offenses in soul for years - there is no sense. Because, most likely, offended already will also forget about some act or the word. Then there is no prospect of the fact that he will guess how he badly to you made, and will improve. Therefore - there is no sense to take offense.
Always try to take out the positive moments from offense. What were both of you taught to by a situation at which you took offense? You began to listen more to each other, you learned to talk about problems, you try to injure each other less? Great!
And still offenses is very good indicator of feelings. The stronger we take offense, the person who offended us means to us more. Therefore you do not act rashly, you do not spoil the relation with close people. Always state offenses and try not to offend each other.