How to get rid of addictions? Beautiful Mind ouraddictions prevents us to be more productive, to achieve the objectives, to build up good relations with people. Inability to make decisions, shyness, perfectionism and obstinacy is habits as hobby for alcohol, an overeating and gamblings too. The psychotherapist Richard O`Connor tells how to cope with them.
And you know that levity, shyness and silly pride - the same addictions how smoking, perfectionism and inability to handle money? People are able to destroy skillfully themselves. And sometimes do not notice it.
Why we make acts which harm us and how to cope with it? The answer in “Psychology of addictions“ - the book of the famous psychotherapist and scientist Richard O`Connor. Let`s look for light at the end of a tunnel?
In us as if live powerful forces which oppose to changes. And really, there are two areas of consciousness. If it is short: one - thoughtful and reflecting I; the second - “involuntary I“ which does the work, without drawing our attention. It operates behavior, especially spontaneous actions.
“Involuntary I“ force to eat greedy chips until “conscious“ is occupied with something another. The matter is that “conscious I“ am in one stage focused only on one thing. Meanwhile we make a set of decisions, on pleasure to and on the mountain.
the Self-coming true prophecies
U of everyone is the vital filter, views, the scheme, a paradigm - it is possible to call somehow. As through a prism, we look at the world through the beliefs. The paradigm “does not like“ to change and becomes the self-coming true prophecy.
With age we approach people whose judgments coincide with ours, and we move away from those who adhere to other point of view. Usually friends share our views on policy, religion, sport and on other people. We choose work which does not contradict our expectations. We read newspapers and magazines, we listen to radio stations which maintain our prejudices.
With addictions all in the same way. If our self-destroying behavior is expressed in unlimited alcoholism, laziness of mind, waste of time or an overeating, we will hardly begin to keep friendship with the people who are not approving all this. To the contrary, are inclined to find those who support us.
Fear of failure
the Widespread method of protection to which people resort, struggling with unconscious fear, - control illusion. We like to think that we are responsible for the life and for everything that in it occurs, and we feel noticeable discomfort, losing this control.
Here the motivation of many self-destructive actions, especially any avoiding, for example, delay is concealed. We evade from work because we support illusion: “I will easily cope if it is required“.
To overcome fear of failure, use “conscious I“, control “involuntary I“ and get acquainted with the fear closer. It is necessary to understand: it is not a shame to feel fear at all - to silly allow fear to make decisions for you.
of Belief influence our organism. They affect in change of a brain and other systems: endocrine, zheludochno - intestinal and kostno - muscular. New technologies allow “to glance behind the scenes“ nervous system.
Now we know that people with the positive attitude towards themselves live longer. And still they have heart attacks less often, they need a smaller anesthesia at surgeries. At optimists of a wound heal quicker, than at pessimists. People with the positive relation to aging on average live for 7,5 years longer, than people with a negative view of an old age.
Effect of efforts and expenses
Everything that demands a lot of time, efforts and expenses, has in our eyes the increased value. Perhaps, therefore the sausages made on a fire seem much more tasty, than usual house. Expensive wine is always more tasty cheap even if this same wine poured in different bottles.
It turns out that when we attribute something a great value, than its initial size, this fact influences our expectations and consequently, for work and the relations.
always seems to us that we it is a little better than the others. We are truthful, more well-mannered, it is more fair than others, motives of our acts are more honest. We are the best drivers and we transfer alcohol too better. We believe that our weaknesses do not go beyond norm. On the other hand, our strengths are unique and invaluable.
It is called a selfishness error. We are sure that the success comes thanks to our talents whereas we write off failures for external circumstances. We remember the progress, than defeat better.
We have to learn to look at ourselves more honestly and to see how this mechanism works. Addictions are not “at all what is done by one and all“.
our brain possesses plasticity, changing together with the gained experience. It reacts to repetitions: the brain does not say what to do to us; he - part of system in which life experience learns a brain that to do to it.
Every day working on itself, you become better. If you stumbled and stopped a diet, threw gymnastics or practice of sensibleness, all you reached before, will not be lost. All found skills still in your brain to help to appear again in a saddle. Do not stop and do not lower hands. If you read these lines - you can precisely become that whom you want to see yourself.
On materials of the book “Psychology of Addictions“ of Richard O`Connor.