How every day consciously to choose happy life?Right choice - not the wide choice happening time in life, and daily decisions which we can even not notice on “autopilot“ - exert significant and long-term impact on your happiness. You consider that you have a choice or that you do not have it, - anyway you are right. Actually the choice is almost always, and Tala Ben - Shahar proves it, considering 101 dilemmas which we face every day.
Every second we make the choice which eventually defines our destiny. To sit directly or having stooped, to tell the warm word to the person or to look at it with irritation. These decisions do not seem considerable, but these are those steps of which there is our life.
Tala Ben - Shahar - professor of psychology and the author of the most popular course in Harvard. And he precisely knows that he stands behind each our choice. Its new book “What you will choose? “ is 101 lesson which will help to choose happy life every day consciously.
From where the choice undertakes?We often do not realize
that we cost at the crossroads that we in general have a choice and therefore we do not use the opportunities.
Henry Ford noticed once: “If you are sure that you will be able, - you are right if you think that you will not be able, - too is right“. It is right also for a choice situation: you think that you have a choice, or think that it is absent, anyway you are right. In other words, understanding that the choice is, and creates a possibility of the choice.
Life as a sandwich
Dan Millmen remembers one history. When the whistle meaning that lunch time came sounded all workers sat down together to a table. Every day Sam opened the package of food and began to complain: “Again this peanut butter and sandwiches with jam! I hate!“
It ached and ached until one of his colleagues told: “For God`s sake, Sam if you so hate peanut butter and sandwiches with jam why you just will not ask the wife to prepare something another?!“ “What wife, you about what? - that responded. - I am not married! I prepare for myself sandwiches“.
Here and many people do not even notice that happens to them. They prepare for themselves sandwiches which are opposite for eating.
Life gives us initial material: but only depends on us what of the available opportunities to take and as them to use.
in the early childhood lost Here and now hearing and sight. She remembers conversation with the friend which returned from walk on the wood. “What did you see?“ - asked it Helen. “Anything special“, - he answered. Helen was struck: how it is possible to go the whole hour on the wood and not to notice anything interesting?
“I, being blind, I can give one advice: every day use the sight so as if tomorrow you will be affected by a blindness. Listen to sounds of voices, bird`s singing so as if tomorrow you will become deaf forever. Inhale aroma of flowers, enjoy taste of food so as if tomorrow you will lose sense of smell and everything for you will become fresh“. Live consciously. Here and now.
not to remain indifferent
the Psychologist Sonya Lyubomirski made experiment in which she asked people to make five good deeds within one day. Any business approached: to bake cookies and to treat with it the neighbor, to offer money, to help the friend with a solution or to take a blood test.
Lyubomirski found out that irrespective of the fact which there was a good deed, it considerably changed quality of life of those who made it. And not only while they created good, but also much longer.
Often the best way to help itself is to help others. Where your help is necessary? What contribution you can make in life of other people?
Thousands of candles can light up from the one and only candle, and her life from it will not become shorter. Happiness will never become less if to share it with another.
not to fight, and to observe
the people of Africa have a tale of a hippopotamus who passed through the river and lost one eye. He looked for it behind, ahead, sideways, from below, but everything is ineffectual. The sitting on the bank of a bird and other animals suggested a hippopotamus to take breath and recover a little, but he refused, being afraid that so it will never find the eye.
The hippopotamus continued the unsuccessful searches until exhausted so that he had to take a break nevertheless. As soon as it ceased to move, the river calmed down too. Dirt which it lifted accumulated on a bottom, water became transparent. And then at a river bed he saw the lost eye.
You can struggle with elements, but there is also other way - simply to observe. Whether there is in your life such place where you can quietly observe the events?
About what all this?
It is 101 lessons to learn to hear the heart and to include the head. And to make that choice which will help to become happier.
If we do not realize all opportunities which exist at every moment, we lose chance to improve the life. We come up against the same situation and we react to it in the same way. We think that our thoughts and feelings are a reality that we have no choice though actually it is always.
Skill of the pilot and his aspiration to survive are shown only when the autopilot is switched off. Therefore try to take a steering wheel and begin to operate the life. So much more interestingly.
On book materials Tala Ben - Shahar “What you will choose“.