Envy as a signal for revision of the priorities
America to reach long and expensively. However that who dreamed to see this the mysterious and attracting once country it is not obligatory to go so far now at all. To some extent “America“ came to us.
America - the country of contrasts“ by which the Soviet mass media in the years of “cold war“ persistently frightened citizens of the USSR Means “. Alas, today in Russia we observe that picture of contrasts: wealth - and poverty. Modern mass media add oil to fire, propagandizing a so-called “glamourous“ way of life as only correct.
Of course, it is better to be healthy and rich, than to the poor and patients. Who would doubt? But not all have a talent of the businessman and especially - rich parents. And there is a wish to live normally, but also and to feel as the full-fledged person. There is a wish to respect himself and to teach it the children, without envying expensive clothes and the elite jeeps. There is a wish to be happy, eventually!
As you will be here happy when, with the last bit of strength dragging heavy bags from the cheap market to feed the house crowd - the husband and three children, - suddenly you meet the former schoolmate who is going out of the smart foreign car? It looks as the movie star also became even younger and more beautiful, than was at school, easy, harmonous, fragrant... She shows you the snow-white smile and asks slightly haughtily: “Hi, how are you doing?“ Though it is so perfectly visible, what about the tired grown plump housewife having many children at whom the husband in a month earns so much how many that spends for one lunch at restaurant.
Or two former classmates who had equal conditions upon termination of higher education institution on a class reunion find out that one already owner of widely known group of companies, and another - the senior research associate of scientific research institute which main earnings is, at best, writing of someone else`s theses, and in the worst, evening “bombardment“ on old Zhiguli.
What you test when comparing yourself with financially successful acquaintances? Envy, rage, irritation, regret, shame, offense? Your emotions are clear. However you do not hurry to direct aggression to the more successful opponent (envy, rage, irritation). The person tried to realize himself in what at him well turns out, he tried for the wellbeing and the family. Obviously, he much and hard worked, overcame obstacles, risked. Perhaps, lost and again rose. For certain it had to be humiliated and dissemble, be cruel and to show diplomacy miracles. Most likely, it should do all this and now to remain in “the highest league“.
you are angry with it? But he did not make personally to you anything bad. So? Just good luck smiled to the person, he succeeded. Well, forgive it this success. Besides, answer yourself honestly a question: and I could pass through all these “thorns to stars“ and would like?find
arguments in own favor Better. It is sure, they are and much!we Will tell
, I defended the dissertation, I am loved by students, colleagues respect, consult on many questions in which they to me is not present equal in our institute. I am happy in a family - the beloved wife, the son grows. I have a work bringing joy of creativity and professional growth. Small salary - yes, but I learned to earn money for a family, without losing an opportunity to work in the specialty in which I am improved and it brings me huge satisfaction.
I especially should not apply aggression in relation to itself (a regret, shame, offense). And it is so hard for you - why still to complicate a situation? The aggression directed inside generates diseases, sometimes - incurable.
Addressing our desperate housewife, I can tell that grievously looking on brilliant ex-the schoolmate, you also do not suspect even with what burning envy she, perhaps, looks at you. Because many years it is treated for infertility, both any money and communications do not allow it to test pleasure of motherhood. Years leave, and with them husbands - to young and healthy. Perhaps, it is ready to change all acquired material benefits for your simple, “uncomfortable“ family happiness.
Children, the careful husband, the house where the love and support of relatives - here your wealth reigns. You are a happy woman, and nobody will take away it from you.
What it is more important - pleasure of communication or a possibility of acquisition? Everyone solves for himself.
One of the basic rules of success: never to anybody to compare itself. Occupation this empty and unhealthy. Myself can be compared only to myself and always in a positive key - what I reached in what I became even better; that I can what was not able earlier; what qualities gained, overcoming difficulties and obstacles; how more wisely and surer I now...
U of all the problems, “skeletons in the cupboard“, and poverty, perhaps, - the small and fragile “skeletik“. Often it is easy to destroy it, but if it is impossible - it does not matter, it is possible to live with it quite happily. The main thing - is correct to place the life priorities.
Examples from life.
I. the Successful top - the manager who suddenly gave up the work into corporations and who became the traveler. Its material level failed, but the person felt at last all completeness of life, found the dream.
II. the Woman surely went on a career ladder, defended the master`s thesis, became dear professional... remaining the single who is not knowing how to pass away holidays and short holidays. In 32, having met the worthy man, married, left, gave birth to two children. She devotes time, free for family pleasures and cares, to social work and charity - having agreed with a local house management, organized women`s club where mothers can communicate, exchange experience. In the same place they pack children`s things and toys and transfer to their needing families.
III. the Lonely pensioner who early came for deserved rest from harmful production in 50 years incidentally got on occupations by yoga and was fond. Regularly being engaged, very quickly forgot about the “sores“ which began to disturb already. In 2 years received the trainer`s degree. In 53 conducts several groups in fitness - clubs, plus several times a month - special preferential group for pensioners. Probably, there is no sense to say that it is absolutely healthy, positive, has a tremendous figure, looks on 30 and, by the way, it is quite provided.
IV. And our remarkable grandmothers and grandfathers helping young parents to bring up grandsons - low to them bow!
Happiness in work
according to the research conducted by sotsiopsikhologa of one of reputable western universities, life expectancy at workers is less, than at employees. Despite quite normal material level, many hard workers are so anxious with the low social status that they begin problems with warmly - a vascular, gastrointestinal tract. They are for the same reason more often subject to the bad habits which are also extremely negatively influencing health. As a result - sad life and early death.
I in vain! As other, earlier, psychological research during which satisfaction with life of people of various professions was studied brightly showed that not those who earn more, and handicraftsmen are happiest: hairdressers, joiners, even janitors are people, doing by own hands something. An explanation for it simple - they daily see concrete results of the work. The hairdress which changed the client and lightened him mood; new chair, convenient, beautiful, strong; pure street, pleasant passersby... Here what really does people happy with itself.
Strangely enough, the person has the greatest satisfaction from work not when receives for it big money (it brings only instant joy) and when it realizes itself(himself) in a profession. No huge income will lead to psychological comfort and happiness if at the same time the person realizes that he regresses as the personality.
According to Maslou`s pyramid, the highest need of the person is a samoaktulization. In other words, only self-improvement can bring to the person the real happiness and a peace of mind. And points of application to the talents and interests great variety: love, family, friendship, children, professional activity, creativity, nature, reading books, communication with people, help to the neighbor, comprehension of new... Anything! In any profession, in each life there is a mass of the moments which bring us satisfaction, joy happiness. They should only be able to be seen and found.
Try to build the life according to the true requirements - without thinking about the values which are artificially imposed from the outside (understand - it is only the wrappers covering emptiness). Respect yourself! You - the unique, unique personality. Cherish the inner world, increase greatly it.Create
! You will become quiet, and envy will nevermore visit you.