Why to us nurse?
U molodkh mothers arise the mass of questions when they begin to understand that, apparently, not to do without nurse.
we Will try to classify everything and to answer some questions...
So, first step. We make the decision: to take or not to take the nurse?
When mother has a desire to invite the nurse? As a rule, when she feels that she hardly copes with affairs and very much is tired. She understands that active life out of a maternal role is necessary for it. Besides it has important tasks which realization is difficult or impossible in the presence of the child. The young woman wants “to take care of the own life“ (“to correct appearance“, “to recover“ a hobby, the relations, rest) or comes to work.
“Pluses and minuses“ of the assistant in a family
U you there will be an opportunity to have a rest. It is very important, especially by the end of the first year of life of the child when at mothers the chronic fatigue collects, needs for care of themselves or for self-realization become aggravated.
U you there will be an opportunity to work.
the child will have an opportunity to learn new, to get social experience. The good nurse will expand ideas of the child of the world, life, people, features of communication. Already one presence it creates conditions for development of adaptation opportunities of the kid.
Work of the nurse demands remuneration, and, therefore, the family has an additional item of expenditure.
“the new person“ enters a family. Family, including confidential information which release out of limits of a family is undesirable will be available to it.
the Nurse will make the decisions concerning different aspects of life of the child. It presence, participation will influence a family. Question - as?Besides, with the advent of the nurse at a family the new period begins
- there will be changes of a habitual way of life of each family member and the child.
mothers who are categorically denying a possibility of involvement of the nurse for the child Are. Among the installations interfering a possibility of hiring of the assistant it is possible to meet the following:“nobody can be better for
- than me for my child“,
- “I best of all know the child“, “I do not trust
- to foreign people“, “I do not want
- that foreign person developed and I brought up my child“,
- ““, >
- “it grieves li to spend money for the nurse“.
we Will talk about these installations and about what can stand behind them.“Nobody can be better for
than me for my child“. The commitment to excellence, a tendency to set “high levels“ is read to themselves behind this installation.“ It is not necessary to be ideal, it is enough to be just good“ - the good phrase, but the decision for many mothers. The child needs to learn to communicate with other people. Mother should not substitute for herself the social world.“ I best of all know the child“ Remarkably if mother very well knows the child. And has to be! Respectively, it will be able to instruct the new person in detail. And in an unusual, new situation the nurse and the child will have an opportunity to develop flexibility and the same adaptive qualities! Besides, with different people the child will prove in a new way. And the mature adult can give vision of those parties of the personality and behavior of the child which, perhaps, were not noticed by you.“I do not trust
to foreign people“. Most likely, the situation with the nurse is a private example of mistrust to people in general. It is only possible to assume that this problem has deep roots and the reasons.“I do not want
that foreign person developed and brought up my child“. In this installation, besides the mistrust subject which is already touched above to people, still the subject of egoistical maternal love sounds. The child - not your property, but the personality. He needs to learn to solve a huge number of tasks in this life. You should not protect it from the world of people. They can be useful and interesting to it by the uniqueness. With them he will get social experience, so necessary for it in the real and future life. You are not gathered to change for yourself all diverse world? > it is important to p to understand
that with what you did not possess intellectual opportunities and width of knowledge, other person, for certain, is able to give to your child and a possibility of communication and to impart the knowledge and abilities. Popular wisdom says:“ One mind well, and two - is better“.
“I“. In this installation the desire to pass all way of motherhood and the childhood with all bright, hidden, pleasant and difficult tasks is read. It is laudable! Adequately respect! And if you well understand questions of age psychology even if you at the everyday level, own technicians and methods of early development, constantly think out new games and exercises, study and develop, then your child will only benefit from the universal, trained and training mother - the versatile person. Possible “reefs“ similar “an ego - heroism“: the increasing chronic fatigue, irritability, an implementation failure in other important spheres of life. >
“It grieves p to spend money for the nurse“. Perhaps, in this situation it is necessary to estimate the free time, rest. To grant to yourself on it the right and to understand that you are worthy rest and the help. To analyse at the same time the family budget. One more exit - to try to find work with the payment significantly exceeding nyanin the fee.
I here, having weighed everything “pros and cons“, all of you - decided to invite the nurse, decided to take the second step.Solve
what nurse is necessary for you
1. For what period of time the nurse is necessary for you.Options:
- only for walks on the street;
- at several o`clock until mother is busy;
- for the whole day;
- for the uncertain period, depending on your requirement;
- full day with possible work at night, during week-end, and maintenance on vacation.
the Child of early age needs mother. Physical presence of the quiet, loving mother satisfies a number of basic needs of the child.
On the first year of life are not recommended long separations from mother.
On the second year of life, the child understands a lot of things and realizes. He well distinguishes ““ and “others“, and can sharply endure the separation moment.
Therefore “to leave on the affairs“ the child better quietly and imperceptibly not to provoke long crying. It would be good if the nurse until mother`s removal, found any interesting occupation for the child and kindly distracted it.
the Child of the third year of life, at harmonious communication with the nurse, can quietly remain for more long term
At this age the child can “release“ mother without tears, and it farewell can turn into ritual (“Wave with the handle“, “Mother goes to work“).
Is very important not to dramatize and not to tighten the separation moment.
in the period of absence of mother with the nurse is built the habitual mode of life, rituals and traditions appear.
2. The nurse - the hired professional, or the relative (the grandmother, the niece, the aunt, the sister and so forth) ?by
In a situation of hiring of the professional to the child allows “foreign“ person. But then we have an opportunity to invite the expert who can be a find for a family - to give good education and education. But here we take the risk, the probability is high that the invited nurse will not answer expectations.In a situation of the invitation of relatives, as a rule, the trust to them initially is more than
, but there is an opportunity to face not settled questions of payment and subordination that can provoke the conflicts.
3. Age of the nurse.
It can be a miscellaneous. From the teenager - to the woman of a retirement age.
Pluses of the young nurse - in its emotional proximity to the child, a spontaneity and ease in communication. Minuses - a lack of experience, knowledge and responsibility. Minuses of the elderly nurse in it, possible, low activity. Pluses - experience, a maturity, responsibility. Inviting the nurse of age of an early or average maturity, we will have to consider its possible professional or family employment.
4. Personal qualities.
Desirable traits of character will be: goodwill, responsibility, decency, flexibility, optimism. Will not prevent maternal and pedagogical experiment on development, education and care of children. Unacceptable lines: aggression, dishonesty, falsity, emotional violations (sensitivity, irascibility, tolerance).
4. Professional qualities.by
As a rule, in labor market nurses with pedagogical and medical education are demanded. At determination of professional qualities of the nurse it is important to mother to decide on priority tasks. There is no need to rest on pedagogical or medical education if walk or short-term presence with the child during a dream is the main objective of the nurse.
If the ward - the baby or the child with the broken state of health, medical sisterly or medical assistant`s, especially, medical education superfluous is not.the Developing occupations, correction of behavior, the speech and informative abilities skilled teachers of preschool institutions, psychologists, speech pathologists will be able to organize
5. State of health of the nurse.than
Of course, it is better that the nurse was without working capacity restrictions, at least, in line with the declared tasks. And still, allowing child nurse, ask it to make tests on the main infections.
And here, at last, we take a step the third. Where to look for the nurse?
Way first: through agencies. As a rule, they offer the choice from several checked nurses with experience and without which passed test, sometimes internal courses on training in fundamentals of age psychology and psychology of early development, a basic medical training, features of activity of the nurse in a family.
It is natural, inviting the nurse from agency, you pay the work done by agency (selection, testing, training and so forth).
Way second: through acquaintances. Beforehand you begin to pronounce the acquaintance that look for the nurse. And if “gossip hotline“ works effectively, you receive the nurse, as a rule, with oral recommendations.
Way third:“ hunting behind the heads“. It is realized when you looked after the person, suitable for work, and you do him the relevant proposal.
Way fourth: we arrange a casting. you advertize in mass media where you set necessary criteria. Then you carry out “shows“. Before inviting candidates, make the list of questions, part from which you can set by phone, not to spend time on interview.
Step the fourth: a meeting with the candidate
during a meeting with the candidate for a role of the nurse pay attention to features of contact of the nurse and the child. Fairly say that it is difficult to deceive the child.
Good signs of contact of the child and nurse will be: direct game of the child and nurse, the benevolent relation (the child goes to the nurse on hands, touches it, examines, something speaks to it (if is able)), goes to see off and looks following.to
It is clear that to create good contact with the child, time is necessary. And open, benevolent communication can depend not only on the nurse, but also on the child. Therefore it is important to watch how the relationship with the nurse during certain time will be built up.
Disturbing symptoms to which it is worth paying attention:the Nurse tells
- about other children or the child much (for example, the former pupil). In detail remembers habits, features and achievements. Quotes it. Indulging in memoirs, it drops out of a situation “here and now“ and loses contact with your child, in something ignoring it.
- your child at a meeting (especially if it is not the first meeting) does not go to the nurse, runs away from it, hides. Even for a short time does not go on hands, does not sit down on knees, does not play with it.
- the Child often is zaplakan after stay to the nurse. Neighbors and acquaintances speak about shouts and abuse of the nurse.
- the Nurse “pastes labels“ on the child:“ the leader red-skinned“, “greedy person“, “bandit“, “hooligan“ and so forth Shows
- pseudo - children`s behavior (lisps, speaks with children`s intonation, imitates children`s behavior, laughs much). At the nurse in this situation difficulties with finding of the style and great difficulties with idea of an adequate and mature position of the tutor are shown.
- Fawns upon you and the child. Flatters, makes advances to the child, does not create to him bans. Obeys the orders and instructions of the kid. It is important that the nurse directed the child, but not the child it. The position of “owner“ at “servants“ can badly affect formation of character of the child.
On consultation uncontrollable behavior. Scatters toys, plays about, squeals, fights. Does not cooperate with adults, “does not hear“ the instruction of mother, the nurse, the psychologist.Parents work hard as
. The most part of time with it is spent by the nurse, the woman dependent and shy. Has no pedagogical education. The lion with the leader inclinations operates long ago and directs the nurse. And she satisfies any its requests and requirements. If the nurse forbids something, the child begins to squeal heart-rendingly then he quickly receives the desirable.Explaining to
the position, mother says that among the main wishes to the nurse the following sounded:“ Not to do much harm to the child “and“ that he did not cry and did not squeal“.
Thus, the child at the full order had servants - the adult, and to the two-year-old kid are clear what means to influence it.
I here you stopped the choice on the person resembling for a family and the child. This is the person mentally and physically healthy, ready to build up the correct, harmonious relationship in education of the child.
Before beginning to cooperate, discuss with the nurse the contract (a step the fifth):
- about nondisclosure of confidential intra family information (the private life, the income, questions concerning financial, and personal security of a family);
- about the place and a role and the rights and duties of the nurse in a family.
Being the hired worker, the nurse for the period of absence of mother to become the face replacing it. She should not submit to whims and the child`s whims entirely. She has the right both to encourage and to forbid, to establish rules and borders permitted for the child. She is sorry and limits, explains and develops the kid. In family system mother is more main than the nurse. But in the period of absence of mother the nurse brings up the child as mother. The child pochinyatsya by it.
the following instructions can enter a circle of direct duties of the nurse: walks, feeding, leaving, development, household tasks. The more precisely you spin tasks, the range of powers will be more clear to it.
- About psychological, physical features and the child`s habits.
- About a day regimen of the child.
- About payment (hourly, daily, a salary - week or monthly).
- About admissible and inadmissible behavior in the house (for example, not to bring the third parties, not to take away to itself home your child etc.) .
- About rules of education of the child (about resolved and forbidden for the child).
When forming the relations with the nurse that in your relationship at least three - four parties: nurse, parents (father and mother) and child. It is important that all parties were satisfied. The microclimate in a family also depends on it. > it is important to p to remember
, the nurse - the personality. She is a living person, with the feelings, thoughts and character. Therefore try to build up with it benevolent business relations.
Excessive onthe dozritelnost and dryness can cause in your assistant tension, alarm and concern which will affect quality of its work. The child thinly feels emotions. It is important to you to build alliance, to discuss the general requirements and understanding of education.
I one more council. During this period, when you are with the child, try to pay him enough attention. Play and talk to it. You give heat and love. It is your child! And you are the main person in his life, but not the nurse. Even the very best remarkable.