And whether the child needs the father?! Behavior models of fathers
It is no secret that many modern families - incomplete. In most cases with the child after divorce there is mother. There are fathers who want to maintain the relations with children, and is also such which are completely discharged of their education.
But whether the father is necessary to the child? The website for mothers of supermams. ru will try to understand, the father in education of the child is how important.
Psychologists for a long time study a problem of incomplete families and influence on education of the child of one parent. What without mother to the kid to live and grow up very difficult - does not raise doubts. And how the father - whether is necessary he to the child? How strongly the father influences formation of the identity of the children?
Let`s consider the known facts which concern positive and negative sides of this problem.If children grow at
without father, then...
- problems in such spheres as emotional and behavioural Arise. It involves low progress at school, and further such teenagers can appear in alcoholic and drug addiction. The unstable emotional state at the teenagers growing without fathers leads to suicides much more often, than at children in full families.
- without seeing an example of the father and his influence on a family, such children at more mature age are not capable to create own.
- Psychologists consider that absence of the father develops in children aggression which pours out on mother, sometimes even in physical shape. It occurs because the child was not familiar with fatherly discipline and man`s education. suffer from
- of the Girl from more - for absence of the father at teenage age. The father`s task - to encourage independence of the daughter, to help it to become more responsible. Absence of the father leads
- to development in boys of female traits of character.
the Children growing with the father...They are more sure by
- of themselves, and, above all - are self-sufficient. It helps them to develop the relations with an opposite sex much easier.
- of Research is shown that children in full families are more capable to achieve success at school. Scientists connect it with the fact that fathers develop those abilities and talents which in them were put by the nature at children.
- These children more often than those that grow without father have such qualities as self-checking, obedience, and also self-esteem and responsibility in acts.
- the Father directly influences formation at the son and the daughter of sexual identification. The son looks at the father as on an example. It helps it to develop man`s traits of character and behavior. And the daughter needs to gain from the father recognition of the importance as women which occurs thanks to a high self-assessment of the girl. The father who supports her in acts and decisions and also admires abilities and appearance, lays that foundation thanks to which the girl in the future will become the full-fledged woman.
Thus, we understand that influence of the father on education of the child is also important, as well as maternal, and here it is impossible to speak about an accurate priority of one of the parties. Fathers best of all can raise children as independent, active and responsible people.to
Therefore on a question whether the father is necessary to the child, we answer - it is necessary! Especially as today men are much more ready to participate in education of children, in comparison, for example, with the middle of the last century.
of Behavior model of fathers
A let`s consider several main behavior models of fathers now. Let`s make a reservation that these models are presented in the absolute that, of course, never happens in life. It is possible to meet the mixed models of the relations of fathers and children more often.Foreign
Such type of behavior is shown by
in readiness to care for the kid, but more it concerns games and walks, and such occupations as change of a diaper or feeding, these fathers consider as mother`s prerogative. Extreme manifestation - leaves to
all cares on mother.the Creator
Often such fathers are not ready
to appearance of the baby in the house at all, and only in process of a growing begin to join in his education.
Unfortunately, it occurs sometimes too late when the child already decides that the father does not show to it interest, and that thread which has to connect them after the birth is already lost. From - for it often there is a mistrust of the child to the father and lack of attachment. Also these fathers often are not capable to bring up at all daughters as do not know how to communicate with them.
the Jealous man
Fathers - jealous men can compete to children for attention of the wife. If mother pays too much attention to the child, then the father can apprehend it with discontent. In such cases often there are conflicts as the woman is between two fires, and her heart with the child, but also the husband does not want to be lost. Therefore only she can solve this problem, paying attention to both in equal quantity.
the Chief or the Head
Authoritative type of the father - he often suppresses any initiative of the child, without allowing him to make the choice in this or that situation. Attempts to protect in such a way the child from mistakes lead to opposite result - children become incapable something to do without the aid of parents.
the Keeper of a nest
Is the most ideal option of the father. Such men dream of children, they do them by the purpose of the life, actively participate in their education and development.
It is an excellent example for the son, but with the daughter he can play a bad joke - having got used to such model of the family relations, she all life will look for the similar husband whom she as practice shows, most likely will not find.the Mentor Such fathers are always ready to explain to
the reason, to discuss a problem, to advise. It is one of the most optimum styles of relationship as assumes direct participation in the child`s life.
the Love of the father and love of mother - whether is difference?
needs to be remembered that the fatherly love differs from maternal. Love of the child and mother - unconditional, it connects them since the birth and for the rest of life.
the Love of the father to the child and vice versa is the acquired love. The father does not carry in himself the kid, “does not grow together“ with him with each section. Therefore the love of the father is formed in the first years of life of the child. It is often possible to hear that fatherly love it is necessary to deserve. In it there is a grain of truth. If mother accepts the child it what he is, then the father promotes development in the son or the daughter of natural abilities, encourages them on achievements, helps to be improved constantly. It is possible even to tell that the love of the father is a peculiar award for progress of the child.For this reason we do not tell
about a prerogative in education of mother or father. The most important in life of the child and his normal development is a love of parents, this that feeling thanks to which the child always feels safe, knowing that even if something will not turn out, parents will support him.
the Positive self-assessment is the very serious factor influencing formation of the identity of any person. And for each child it is much more important to know how the father or mother treats him, than the relation of his peers. The self-sufficient children who grew up in a family with the good father will be able always to solve the problems in relationship with other people while children who from the father heard only reproaches and remarks do not become self-assured with age, there can be a fear that all people around will negatively estimate him. Such outlook can lead to deep depressions, and the child can spend the most part of the life for fight against them instead of developing and be improved.
So, influence of the father on the child forms his personality throughout first
Us nobody learned to be parents. We looked at the parents and solved what we want to be. And now our children look at us. And depends only on us that they will see and what will become.