Psychotherapy of a playground of
“The first twelve months of life of the kid - an incomparable stress for mother, perhaps, bigger, than pregnancy and childbirth“, - Arleene Eyzenberg, the author of a world famous grant for young mothers “The first year of life of the child“ claims. Twelve months which worried these perfectly understand what is meant by Eyzenberg. No, not sleepless nights, not heart-breaking crying and mountains of wet diapers. All this nonsense, everyday trifles. Eventually, children begin to sleep at night, cease to cry without the reason, and mountains of diapers can always be replaced with disposable diapers. About other weight the speech - about series of everyday life and deficiency of communication - the situation which is simply stunning for most of very young mothers.I know
Ya precisely when my life ceased to belong to me. It happened on March 10 when the daughter was born. From that day I ceased to understand what is freedom in general and free time in particular. The daughter disposes of everything. Depends on it how many to me to sleep (and whether to sleep in general), when to take a shower whether to eat sandwich or to be limited to empty tea. From morning to evening, our father, we together will not come yet. We eat, we sleep, we change diapers, again we eat, again we sleep …
Telephone conversations, rare visits of girlfriends, long-awaited arrivals of grandmothers - here, actually, and all communication with the world. A sortie in shop - an event, a visit of policlinic - a tremendous event, the whole action. In total rest of the time - diapers, small bottles, rocking, begging. Me as any normal person who appeared in full isolation, such existence slowly dements. The only thing that helps to sustain terribly monotonous rhythm and not to pass from a state “on the verge“ into a deep depression, - our playground.to
It is interesting that around the world young mothers are united by special clubs and groups of self-support. They come here to chat or have a heart-to-heart talk, to exchange experience and to discuss affairs essential, to be cried simply to someone in a vest. You ask why such clubs are necessary if it is possible to unburden the heart both with the girlfriend, and with mother, and with the neigbour? Unfortunately, none of them will understand young mother as other young mother. Both are fixated on one subject, both have every second word “and here at mine …“ (“mine“). Try to start talking to “mummy“ about the nature, weather or fashion. She will not hear you and if hears, so edge of an ear. But such manner to communicate will hardly suit the childless girlfriend or the fellow worker. In other words, support groups are unambiguously necessary for mothers. And if they do not exist officially, mothers - “neformalka“ create them, at a usual playground.
Every day, in any weather, our small park is filled with color carriages. In thickets at the small river the smallest sleep. Their dream can be preserved therefore children are more senior are grazed on the platform. There they have sandboxes, a swing, any hills and walls for a lasagna - everything that is necessary for the kid is more senior than year. And those to whom “already“ passed for three spend time on a backyard of school. Here to their services the asphalt paths which are ideally suited for bicycles races and drawing by pieces of chalk.such territorial division suits
of Mothers too. In each “point“ - the club. Talk of mothers of babies is deeply uninteresting to highly experienced mothers of one-year-old robbers. What`s the use to discuss quality of diapers if the already asks on a pot? The problems concerning a month ago are forgotten at all. Yesterday, for example, tiny Seryozha`s mother complained that the kid badly puts on weight and in five months only 6, 5 kg weigh. I long tried to remember how many the daughter weighed at this age, but did not remember (though since then passed - that only two months with small).
What to speak about mothers who have the second child. To the Svetiny senior daughter - thirteen, younger - half a year. To us, mothers of firstborns, it seems incredibly skilled, and all of us run to it behind council.“ Oh, little girls, it was so long ago! I remember nothing. Besides in thirteen years everything so changed“, - and Sveta with curiosity listens to eighteen-year-old Natasha`s councils how it is better to weld a squash. It is interesting that at a playground women have no age. All of us are little girls (“oh, girls“), with identical interests and cares. It is not important that to Lena twenty, Vick it is far for thirty, and Katya forty five soon.in What mothers at a playground are engaged in
? First of all impart “production“ experience. You need the good logopedist? You cannot choose overalls for the winter? You do not know how to persuade the baby to eat vegetable puree? You come to the platform, here all will tell you. However, mothers each other not only councils help. Here children`s things are handed over, in turn go to dairy kitchen, watch for a carriage if it is necessary to someone urgently in shop. But the help happens also more serious. Vika is lonely mother. In Moscow at it neither the family, nor relatives. Also present, Wicky has an appendicitis, it needs urgent operation, and little Fedya (two and a half months) there is nobody to leave. Oksana just familiar on a playground helped. At it and cares too much: the senior went only to school, and younger is slightly more senior than Fedya. Despite it, Oksana of the boy`s visor to himself and Fedya at her lived nearly a month until Vika was written out.at a playground are tied by
of Acquaintance extremely easily. It is rather simple to smile each other - and conversation will begin by itself. In the first exits to the street with a carriage I with envy looked at cheerfully stirring “mummies“. To ply on paths in proud loneliness - not really - that big pleasure. But once I got acquainted with one young mother, in a month I knew already all “wheelchair invalids“ of the area. In eight years of life here I did not manage to get so many acquaintances how many for several “kolyasochny“ months. Every time, leaving the house, I know that I will meet someone from “ours“ and it is rather simple to us to exchange smiles that the bad mood or fatigue disappeared.
A still the playground does not allow to fall. That from the fact that you do not sleep which night and you not to a hairdress? Girlfriends on a playground have the same schedule, but they do not dare to become limp, appear in public anyhow and in what got. It is too “issue“ which demands respect both for itself(himself), and for others (same as you, to the tortured “mummies“). Besides among our mothers of whom is only not present - here both the hairdresser, and the masseur, and the shaping coach, and the disseminator of fashionable cosmetics. At us both the doctors, and teachers, even own clairvoyant. And everyone (everyone) is glad can share what.
the Playground - club not only for mothers. Here and malyshnya gets the first experience of communication. Dasha treated Ania with candy, Senya shared molds with Sasha, and one-year-old Katya asserted the right to sit on a swing though three-year-old Kiryusha actively forced out it. Mothers here - only observers. Children pass the first universities independently.
Alas, kids grow quickly, the world of a playground ceases to accomodate them, becomes close. And mothers, having got stronger sincerely and corporally, together with children leave the first “club on interests“ - such amicable and hospitable. Everything that occurs at a playground now, seems unnecessary and unimportant. Children go to a garden, mothers come back to the path - who for work who to study.
time Will come - and we with the daughter will leave from here. If, of course, we do not have a brother …