Rus Articles Journal

The child without guarantee. Began part 2

Here we and moved with Manyasha to other place - in office for premature children of № hospital; 5.

In maternity hospital today: the made-up mummies flitted, on the run instructing husbands on mobile, and nurses showed each other the presented bouquets.

We with Volodya silently sat on a slippery couch in a corridor and waited for the car of children`s reanimation. I remembered how the nurse in day of an extract wrapped Dasha - as a work of art! And Masha was packed into pampers, a baby`s undershirt, diapers and a blanket as if at competition in civil defense - for several seconds, directly on a resuscitation little table with wires: our girl cannot longer breathe independently to seven - ten minutes and therefore it is necessary to reach to hospital very quickly. The doctor from “ambulance“ took Masha in hand and dived into the car, we jumped in father`s and rushed off afterwards. In day 33 - the anniversaries weddings of my parents it looked as a train.

... The new clinic makes impression of the collapsing territorial hospital. In comparison with it the maternity hospital looked, perhaps, as the Berlin hospital you “Rummage“.

our attending physician, Natalya Nikolaevna S. is the elderly severe woman in the darkened points, very similar to the front doctor. In any case, quite so I the front doctor - the woman represent - lean, laconic, with a tenacious look, making fast orders to nurses.

Just she talked to me and filled in “Clinical record“. The situation is actually terrible: bilateral pneumonia which was confirmed by a X-ray, growth of staphylococcus which can give abscesses in lungs and treats them more difficult, than pneumonia, the brain hypoxia caused by the fact that Cesarean section was emergency and not prepared gormonalno, a cerebral hemorrhage (the reason - a hypoxia and weak blood vessels early of the been born baby), prematurity of the first degree, lack of necessary reflexes, muscular slackness and a depression...

... On the new place Masha was connected to oxygen again, she continuously groans... But somewhere the confidence grows in me at a powerful reinforced concrete wall that everything will be good. At the hospital stand “Children - Our Future“ - the photo of healthy fellows of three - four years with signatures 0,900; 1,200; 1,600... Such they were born, but coped with the first in life problem. And with this hospital they were fine helped.


gets out, I see it on more active sosatelny movements of lips (in a mouth established a food probe) and on three milliliters of milk, which it acquires and does not “reproduce“ back.

Girls in chamber say that hospital good, doctors very skilled (for 30 years of an experience), nurses diligent. Some mothers lie more than a month, someone prepares for an extract, finishes a children`s course of massage and vitamin pricks. Natasha F. goes on to me (or?) banal thing that it is necessary to find something good in each situation. It is interesting whether I though will be able to find something good in a present apportion?

... In - the first, we with Manyakhoy everything are are living.

... In - the second, we with Volodya became attached to our baby at once and incredibly strongly.

... In the third, Manyashin birthday will be during Indian October summer, but not in dank November when she had to be born.

... And, at last, such tests well set straight concerning the main vital values.

Now I sit in the huge deserted room with curved arches - the “parent chamber“ forced by iron beds. There live mummies to whom it is not authorized to be constant with the children yet. Kids are kept on droppers, pricks and oxygen on sisterly “posts“, in sterile cabinets. My Masha lies on a post № 10.

the People ran up on houses, having strained off milk on night feedings. Nurses suggested to leave home and me, but I cannot even think of it: it seems that if I am not near, Masha could not be helped.

of the Little girl, ridiculous, complain that their kids are eaten a little:“ on only 50 ml“ at norm of 60 ml for feeding. And our Manyasha - only three. But, as told T. N., it is possible to begin also with three...


By the way, in the history of an illness which at me was filled today it is written down for the first time - Marya Vladimirovna Korolyova!

Already on October 19... In parent chamber warmly, and behind a window cold, gray asphalt, a wet carpet from the flown foliage. The soul is gradually left by panic fear, there is only a concern.

Masha lies in the box, completely wrapped up in a diaper. It is possible to make out only the chubby swelled face, and chicken handles - legs and a hollow breast are not visible.

Gradually we add

in a dairy dose. Yesterday the doctor appointed Manyune nine milliliters of milk. However, other premature children arrive here already from maternity hospital with 15 - 20 milliliters, but nothing, we will gather. The main thing that acquires more and more!

Yesterday Volodya brought Dashenka to hospital. For terrible ten roddomovsky and several hospital days I almost forgot about existence of the oldest daughter, and yesterday as if emotionally revealed and understood rather felt that we have two laponka now.

Dashutka after separation seemed

to me very pretty and matured. In a hospital corridor she clung to me and every minute asked: “Mothers, well when you will arrive?. Mothers, well when you will be released?. Mothers, show me the little sister...“ We communicated to it minutes ten, and then I by phone told it the fairy tale about an angry beaver who all built lodges, however, before it strongly poburchav. It is interesting whether the four-year-old child guessed what I copied a beaver from ours grandfathers?

After parting with Dasha at heart it is heavy again. But well the local psychotherapy - chatter with girls - neigbours helps. It appears, pneumonia, staphylococcus, a hypoxia and hemorrhage honor at all local babies. Pneumonia develops from - for the fact that lungs at the child at the time of the birth are not completely opened, in them the phlegm accumulates, and bacterial process begins. Already about much to me more skilled mummies of “nedonosochok“ told - some duty nurses so call kids. It turns out that usual medical practice here - to frighten mothers in an initiation of treatment that in the first three days all mothers go with the persons which swelled up from tears, and then slowly, little by little... With a special pressure I was convinced that premature kids are restored to school though to it are ill much and not always visit a garden.

generally, reasons for reflections there is a lot of, I will go for walk with Volodya and if here I only listen, then there I will be uttered. Except Volodya, I do not want to see none of the family and acquaintances. Only he knows that I feel, and, the most important, understands. Our walks in nearby naked park, in cold, in the rain, will always be remembered as an illustration by gray hospital days. Yesterday we left so far that back - it is time to decant three milliliters! - drove by a taxi.

Today I was disconnected by

in 16. 30 under loud chatter of little girls and bright luminescent light. After a stress of maternity hospital the dream is broken, as at the newborn. I was woken in 17. 15 to be decanted. Lena which hardly parted forcibly me was frightened of expression of my person - according to her, some wild, with horror in a look. I did not begin anybody to explain that it is result of vigils in maternity hospital when I was afraid to fall asleep and was frightened any doctor who could bring bad messages.

Got to talking with the unfamiliar “night“ nurse who left holiday. It elderly already, very meticulous. Complained that in last years there was no such extortion from patients: in hospitals there were all drugs, needles and food at the feeding mothers was remarkable.

commented on


- It is necessary to

that at some big chief the grandson or the granddaughter visited here.

She only sighed:

- Recently... The chief physician of hospital, on the contrary, ordered to provide at once the child and mother to all necessary. From where to them know that in hospital even there is no necessary?

... Today write out home Tanya - the neigbour with the shouting twins. Ridiculously, she swears the whole day instead of rejoicing. It appears, her husband had one and a half months on that being prepared houses for their arrival, and he made nothing and bought nothing. Just now for some reason started re-making linoleum, and still began to threaten to leave to the brother because to Tana on help there comes mother, his “beloved“ mother-in-law.

Happens that you live it seems normally, but you do not feel either a grief, or pleasure as a cold frog on a bog. And in old hospital every day small happiness: Manyashka acquires already today 15 milliliters of milk (it means, intoxication is less), it has “quite good hemoglobin“ (the word of the attending physician), it is less than rattles and phlegm, the breast not so sinks down, our little one does without oxygen much longer. Tones of heart are still weak, but it is characteristic of a present state, rattles on all lungs are still heard, but there is positive dynamics. So that`s that!

T. N`s

. told that for Masha on the first year of life not the pediatrician, but the neuropathologist will be the chief physician, and it is necessary to treat his recommendations very seriously. I asked about M. She told that it is the good expert. Well, we will decently pay for reception.

to the box settled the neigbour To Manyashe. It is remembered also by Volodya on roddomovsky reanimation: the premature seven-months girl lying in the couveuse, next to Masha, with a label “N - va“. Its muzzle in comparison with Car mordakhy seems awfully small and brown, as at the monkey - jaundice. Both little girls lie with oxygen pears at a nose and the droppers which are sticking out of the head now.

B our maternal the atmosphere of a summer camp reigns today: we communicate, laugh and wait for a call for lunch. Full, cheerful Oksana decided to tell “interesting story“:“ You represent when I in t - m maternity hospital lay, saw such picture! There is along a corridor a priest in ceremonial vestments, behind it another bears the Bible and some things, and further - three adults, in disposable blue dressing gowns. They went to reanimation, and I glanced there. There the child died, it is so terrible to look! All lay - all in wires, with a mask and rattled. And the equipment ticked. Did not learn what became with that child who was allowed to christen “just in case“. We in maternity hospital about it then talked two days to little girls“.

I answered

A with it quietly:“ Do not worry, my daughter rather not bad feels. Her husband, the mother-in-law and the girlfriend christened. I then even in reanimation remained and could not get up after operation“.

... On other end of the floor, it appears, there is one more maternal room. I do not know, specially or not, but original mummies were selected there: 17 - summer the girl who gave rise from the cohabitant working in the mobile zoo “Safari“ 20 - summer the idler who did not solve yet to refuse or not the child; eternally using foul language mother who by the 25 years gave birth to the sixth child. Her previous children died of brain dropsy, and the sixth survived, but it has a cleft lip and a wolf mouth.

... Tomorrow Volodya comes from holiday to work. Let though at work will have a rest from everyday throwings on the city. In the evening on me it was reported that Dasha on gymnastics learned lying to get on a stomach socks the head. Yes, Manyashe much should learn...

of People gets used to everything, and I got used to a long dark arch corridor, tasteless stolovsky food at 9, 13 and 16 hours, to the word “post“ (our Manyasha still is on the tenth sisterly post), constantly changing nurses (among them there is the most careful and therefore darling) and the doctor T. N. which was not so severe. N V. in maternity hospital tried to look kind and human, and T. N. speaks a little, but does much. Mummies adore it, say that I was fine lucky with the doctor.


Ya that reminds our office for premature babies - the Catholic monastery. Arches in a corridor, lack of vanity, service of nurses and hourly decantations - instead of regular prayers.

Yesterday Masha did to

ultrasonography of a brain on the figurative device. Hemorrhage of the first degree, increase in ventricles of a brain, the increased intra cranial pressure... I already got used to new medical reports, but we have “perfectly created brains“!

concerning ours specifically T. N.`s prospects can promise nothing

. Explained only that about 30% of children with defeat of the central nervous system are restored completely, 30% are externally healthy, but have consequences in the form of a hyperactivity, bad progress, fatigue or headaches. And at the remained 30% more serious problems in the future are possible... According to her, the cerebral hemorrhage how many a consequence of a hypoxia which is very dangerous to newborns has to concern me not so much.

I do not know

, but, looking in clever Manyashkina eyes and listening to the favourite nurse (“it is already absolutely other child in comparison with receipt“), I believe that everything on light can be cured and restored, not for nothing Marya transferred so much and gained.

I Like to run, splashing slippers, in “bottle“ behind a sterile small bottle for milk, to be decanted, carry milk and to watch through glass as feed my child. Even if through a probe which I want to pull out all the time so unpleasantly it looks.

Today, by the way, to Masha allowed to take a pacifier in a mouth, it even from it extended something, and the rest, as always, fed through a probe. By the way, at the sight of a pacifier at Masha terribly wondering eyes became. And the lassie - the daughter“ already ate my “22 ml!

to me managed to take Today two times on hands our fuzz weighing two kilograms two hundred grams. It was at 23 o`clock and at five o`clock in the morning while the nurse changed diapers in a bed. Emotions were such strong that I then minutes on thirty could not fall asleep. I never held the child on hands! All Manyashka is located between an elbow and a wrist, attentively listens to my voice and is obviously happy when I cover with her eyes from bright light which burns in boxes constantly.


to Vovka gets too an opportunity to observe Mashkin growth: he noted that obkakanny diapers which I give for house washing became much more.

took a walk in park at hospital hour or so Today. One to walk it is sad and uninteresting: in an autumn wet landscape felt as the consumptive Turgenev girl. But the advantage of fresh air everything is was: I worked up appetite and thoroughly dreamed - of future friendship of our little girls, of Manyashkiny talents, the lake. I will not think, my younger daughter - the child “without guarantee“.

“Prayed to

devoutly. It did everything devoutly. The prayer relieved of feeling of powerlessness. More nothing can help, only a miracle... If he could make something, anything to help out... He suddenly found out how the son is dear to it. Science, progress, truth, opening - everything that so borrowed that, appear, made meaning of life, - everything thawed, was scattered by an unnecessary peel. There is no value left when business reaches the child`s life... How he could not understand it earlier, considering children self-evident the annex to marriage?“ I just subtracted this phrase in Daniil Granin`s book “Bison“. When the book, a picture, the movie are pleasant and punch through? When they corresponds to your strongest and intimate experiences. These words struck me with absolute hit in the validity. When to badly your child, everything passes into the background.

In the head scraps of night 10 - 11 in reanimation of maternity hospital flash October again: a red little body under bright light, terrible rattles, a dark corridor, brightly illuminated aquarium, an empty ladder under a staffroom and a reproduction of “Virgin Mary with the baby“ between floors. From where the mad love to the person who a few days ago was not undertakesoh, which was just your pot-belly? This main thing in life, and the rest - minor details.

... On the street night. Passed to winter time. Today after 3. 00 the confusion reigned in our office - on what time to feed? On our post the very young Kazakh woman Gulya is on duty now, crams some medical textbook. I carried Manyashke milk and agreed with Gulya that after a dropper she will allow to take Manyunya on hands.

When I came back in maternal, the procedural nurse towards hurried with two full syringes in hands for a dropper. I told: “For certain it is mine a present“. She answered: “And to whom else?“ Something we long do not leave from two droppers a day and an oxygen pear. And still there are tablets and pricks. The best Manyashkina protection - sound sleep after a two-three of angry cries.

Today to 12 to me both Volodya, and parents, and Dashunya gathered. Darya, potykav me in a stomach, gave out:“ I checked, there any more is nobody“. And then began to beg: “Show the little sister!“ So far I put on to take a walk, it rushed under the sun in the hospital yard - “on start, attention, march!“, and when I left, grabbed two sticks and, turning in one leg, jumped “on crutches“ on the frozen pools. I looked at it and remembered words of the kindergarten logopedist: “You have very developed child“. Then the developed child put to me a grass bunch with the words “give to the granddaughter“. Manya meant.

Be continued.