Unforgettable. It is right...
Here decided to write also history of the first pregnancy, to describe the emotions and feelings.only finished with
Ya 9 classes, I was 15 years old. We met the Ear ring already whole year. It was more senior than me for 2 years, seemed such adult and reasonable. He also insisted on the “adult“ relations. About contraception I, of course had concepts, but primitive. Mother palmed off on me the book like “Man and the woman“, but many moments and nuances for me were unclear. To ask about it mother it was wild, we never had confidential relations. It worked till late evening, the father sent me the alimony (at first 18 rubles a month the first years, then in general ceased).
Mother came late at night, we had silently supper (I made a dinner). There was also all communication. So when in the summer I felt badly, began to feel sick and the head began to be turned, I did not connect it with pregnancy. I always had an irregular cycle, I am a thin person on lives, the development which is rather slowed down than fast. My state strongly worsened, felt sick for days on end, I ceased to eat, and the terrible guess appeared in my head.
of the First was learned about my secret by the class teacher, Anna Petrovna, she after lessons called me to herself for conversation, began to ask carefully about we wash health. I did not sustain and burst out crying directly in its office and told everything - tension of the last weeks was so heavy. Anna Petrovna went to talk to my mother (at my request). I just could not present an eye of the mother at this news. The chilling horror just lodged at me in soul, I to the last hoped, suddenly all this a mistake, I just got sick, I have no pregnancy. I remained to spend the night at Anna Petrovna. As I learned then, mother after conversation with Anna Petrovna went to parents of the Ear ring and made scandal with the requirement to marry me. Well, in one and a half months all of us sat at a wedding table. The wedding still that turned out. Now, when there passed 18 years, I already accept some moments with humor. I look through wedding photos and I smile: on them the mother-in-law with the lips which are densely squeezed in a vice, for all ceremony she did not utter words. Still between us frosty relations, the birth of the grandson softened it, but she always considered that I am guilty of everything, the unsuccessful little girl “enchanted“ her son with the purpose to marry. On other photos my mother almost with the same expression as well as at the mother-in-law, sits at the head of a table. I am still that beauty, grown thin for 4 kg, from wedding food stirred up me, I did not touch anything. It was similar to a lemur - huge eyes on a thin face. One Ear ring on all photos smiles from ear to ear, he did not understand yet what on it pulled hard and in what it was got involved. Most adequately Seryozha`s father, Oleg Borisovich behaved. He also directed wedding ceremony and then was almost only person who very much supported me.
we began to Live with Serezhiny parents. Allocated us a room - small, but separate. My mother so did not recover from such events, I felt guilty to her all the time. We had difficult relations, I so wanted to hear words of support from it, but it was closed from me. And cold answered everything: “You adult, all solve now...“ I, of course, understand it now, her experience for me was so shown, she, tired and a little good seeing for the life, wanted for the daughter of the better lot. But, if I have a daughter (and I hope, it will be obligatory for now I am mother of three sons), I will try to support her in any situation because I know how morally to take everything one hard.
Pregnancy was heavy - probably, my age affected, plus a nervous tension all the time. Nevertheless, I prepared for receipt in medical school. I got the diary where every week measured to itself a stomach and wrote supervision. Till the end I could not believe that I am pregnant, - very much I was not similar to pregnant women whom I saw on the street. I gained weight slowly, for all pregnancy gained 6 kg. Felt sick constantly, at all could not eat meat. I began to feel stirs of the child early, on the 17th week. When I lay, just saw how my stomach rises a hillock, someone slightly kicks it inside. As though the small fish beats with a tail. Seryozha first cared for me and tried to play a role of the husband and father. But then it quickly bothered it, it began to vanish in the evenings. And nights too. Led usual cheerful life. It upset me, I could not leave from anywhere - for feeling sick and when it came back, I arranged dismantling. Naturally, it worsened our family relations even more. The last months I lived with mother, the relations with Seryozha deteriorated finally and the mother-in-law added oil to fire. Itself heard how she spoke: “It is unknown? whose is the child. It such puny creature, even cannot normally take out the child. Came to all ready.“ It was morally heavy to live with it near such relation.Nevertheless the stomach grew at
gradually, heartbeat was good, the child correctly lay. I was for some reason sure that the boy will be born. I did not test special such tenderness, there was rather a curiosity. In a maternity welfare unit I stood in “risk group“. When I came to reception, I was not passed by turn, spoke:“ Where you climb, the girl, you see, here pregnant women wait“. Such I was thin, a stomach it was imperceptible up to childbirth. I once went to ultrasonography, everything was normal. I narrow had basin, and a fruit large, decided to do Caesarian and appointed term. But everything went not so.
In 37 weeks at me waters departed at night, I woke up wet in a bed. And at once fights began. Pain was awful. To me it was very terrible. Mother called “ambulance“.
So far me was carried to maternity hospital, I just physically felt how my child makes the way outside. Caesarian did not begin to do - was late, the child fell to a basin. Further I remember vaguely, I was given an anesthesia. My son by means of nippers, in asphyxia was born. Then long sewed up me (subsequently it was not necessary to do plasticity, I could give rise naturally more, my other children were born by means of Caesarian). The brightest reminiscence is farther - I am met near maternity hospital by mother, Seryozha and his parents. The mother-in-law, having glanced in a parcel, burst into tears and did not let go it more, and I a lot of things forgave her for it then. So my senior sonny, the clear head and the handsome with very strong character and sense of humour came to this world. I am proud of it to tears when goes near me above me on the head, and all take me for elder sister. But the son always corrects: “No, it is my mother, just she very beautiful and young“.