All of us will help the child grow up, parents, we want that our children grew at happy. Vital success, self-realization - important components of happiness. How to help the child grow the successful person, to self-actualize? Whether it is so important to pay much attention to intellectual development, or happiness and success “are not equal“ to high IQ? >
It appears em, psychologists proved: the success does not depend directly neither on the volume of knowledge, nor on I.Q. In order that the person could find the place in life, effectively build up the relationship with people around, so, to be happy, he needs to be able to realize own feelings, emotions, requirements and desires, emotions and feelings of other people and to be able to operate them. Especially for designation of these qualities the concept of “emotional intelligence“ was entered. The higher at the person emotional intelligence - the better he is able to build up the relationship with himself and people around, the it is more at it than chances to find themselves in life and to become happy.
On what this most “emotional intelligence“ how we, parents, can help the child to develop it depends?Everything begins
from the first days of life. And maybe, even earlier... How his closest people, and first of all - mother treat the kid whether she understands his small requirements, whether gives him enough heat and love? The child is more senior, the not only the amount of time which is carried out in tender mother`s or father`s embraces but also its quality becomes more important for him. As communicate with the kid as play with him - in communication and game and there is both an intellectual, and emotional development.
Emotional development in communication
Every day, every minute in life of the child teaches it to something, and, of course, he first of all follows an example of us, adults. Therefore, caring for emotional development of the kid, to us, maybe, it is useful “to develop“, glance a little bit to the world of own feelings, to try to understand them and, perhaps, will learn them to control, then our communication with the child will be able to help it to develop emotionally.
1. We call feelings. In order that will learn to operate the feelings and emotions, it is necessary to realize them first of all. In communication with the child call the feelings and experiences, you say when you are glad and when are upset, or even you are angry. It will help you better to understand what experiences you experience in this or that situation, and to the child will help to learn to understand better you, will acquaint him with variety of the world of emotions.
2. Active hearing. This concept about which wrote in the book “To communicate with the child. How?“ the famous children`s psychologist Yu. B. Gippenreyter, - a remarkable way both to adjust communication with the child, and to develop it (and himself) emotionally. One of methods of “active hearing“ is naming to the child of his own feelings and experiences: “You are glad that at you it turned out to tie laces“, “you are angry with the brother now, you took offense that he took your game without demand“.“ You do not want to go to sleep because you are afraid to lie in the dark“ etc. Such communication helps the child to understand itself better. He learns to distinguish the feelings, so and gradually learns to control them.
3. Discussion of life situations. it is Very useful to pronounce for emotional development of the child various situations against which he comes up daily at home, in kindergarten, in public places, not only from the point of view of norms and rules of conduct, but also from the point of view of emotional experiences of its participants. “What did you feel when you fought? And how you think what was felt by other boy when you hit him? And teacher? And when you presented to the friend the machine how you think, he was glad?“ Such discussions will help the child to understand that other people also have various feelings, and he can influence them; will teach it to understanding of emotions and experiences of people around.
4. What do you feel now? Sometimes can just approach the child, to embrace him and to ask what at it now mood. It is especially useful to do it at the moment when you see that the child experiences strong emotional experience - both negative, and positive.
5. Discussions of books, movies. > After reading of fairy tales, stories, joint viewing of children`s movies, animated films it is very useful for strong to discuss with the child characters of heroes in which situations they appeared feelings which they at the same time endured. You do not hurry to retell to the child the “correct“ thoughts, ask his opinion. In conversation on feelings there cannot be wrong answers, and even the angriest wolf perhaps at all and not angry, but just very hungry and lonely.
Emotional development in game
If at school students is study, adults have a work, then the preschool child has only a game. Game for the child is a way of knowledge and processing of reality. For normal development the child needs also to play how to eat and breathe. All our “the developing occupations“ are most effective when we with the child play them. Also there are games which are specially thought up to teach the kid to communication and to develop his emotions.
1. Syuzhetno - role-playing games. “Regret a bear“. Approximately at one-year-old age the child already not just manipulates with objects (knocks covers, for example), and begins to lose with them the elementary plots: he swings a doll, puts it to sleep in a bed, feeds a bear with a spoon, irons and feels sorry for him. There are rudiments syuzhetno - a role-playing game.
Playing such games with the kid, offering it various situations, we teach the child to empathy. “Look, Mishka sad. He cries. Perhaps, he wants to eat? Let`s it feed. Look, Mishka cheerful now!“ “The doll hit. To her it is painful. Let`s regret the Doll, we will stroke. And now she rejoices, look, she claps for pleasure!“ and so on. It is very important to lose a plot emotionally: when we say that to a toy it is sad or cheerful, we try to show it both by voice, and a look.
With children Bol of advanced age in subject game can play sketches from the child`s life, paying his attention to feelings of characters. Plots can be various - “Family“, “Kindergarten“, “Walk at a playground“).
2. Show an animal. In fairy tales for children animals usually represent various characters of people. A fox - cunning, a wolf - angry, a hare - coward. Children - to preschool children very much like to play, representing various animals. Offering animals who could “become“ the child, discuss with him their character.“ Hare - the little coward? Of whom is he afraid? Show the hare who was frightened a fox. And tiger? It is angry, furious. Show, a tiger on hunting. And what elephant? Strong, quiet. Show how the elephant goes for walk“. Such game allows children to get acquainted with how various emotional states are expressed (fear, rage, confidence etc.) develops imagination and physical activity.
3. Puppet theater. Choose his favourite fairy tale with the child and suggest to play it. For a performance it is not obligatory to use special dolls, it is possible to take any toys or to make heroes with own hands: to draw them and to cut out from dense paper, to sew from socks, to make of caps from the kinder - surprises. Other requisite can be built from any improvised materials - to draw, construct of cubes or the designer. Before a performance discuss the fairy tale and character of heroes. If the character angry, angry (a wolf, a bear), then how it can be shown? By what voice he will speak? Discuss also situations in which there are heroes, think together with the child what feelings they at the same time had as it is better to give these feelings in a performance. For example, fairy tale “Three Bears“.“ What was felt by Mikhail Potapych when he saw that someone ate his porridge? Became angry? Became angry? And how you become angry, show? And what felt Mishutk when saw the broken stool? Was upset? Became angry? Show what you are when to you it is sad? Mashenka was frightened when she saw bears? How it can be shown?“ After such discussion the child will try to play brightly and emotionally. And if to write down your performance on video, then will watch and discuss it very interestingly all family.
4. Cards - emotions. can Play such game to children already from two-year age. The child is younger, the more simply there have to be cards and tasks to them. To make cards very easily:
- can find and print out pictures - emotions on the Internet
- to draw schematic pictures with
- to cut out photos from magazines
- to unpack own photographs
of the Picture for kids better to make simple, schematical: pleasure / fun (laughter, a smile), grief / grief (cries, it is upset), rage (becomes angry). Questions have to be simple too. “Where little man sad? Where cheerful? Where he cries and where smiles?“For children both pictures, and tasks are more senior than
will be more difficult. Cards have to be presented by a big variety of emotions: pleasure, grief, surprise, thoughtfulness, anger, fright, boredom, offense, shame, disgust, delight, interest, pleasure etc. You can offer the child:to guess
- that the person on each picture feels
- to find a card on which the person longs (rejoices, reflected, frightened etc.) by
- to try to make the same face as on the chosen picture and to describe what feelings represented
- to think up various situations in which the person experiences these or those emotions and to ask the child to pick up the corresponding cards (received the gift, broke a plate, saw a cockroach, eats ice cream, solves a problem, quarreled with the friend etc.).
5.“ Courses of acting skills“. Prepare cards with descriptions of various situations from life of children. The child extends a card, and then he has to represent by means of gestures, sounds and a look that is felt by the hero of a situation. For example: the boy who broke a plate and hears that mother here will come into kitchen here-; the girl from whom the boy took away a doll; the boy who spies upon mother hiding in a candy case; the boy who came into the room and saw the new bicycle; the girl who saw in the room of a big spider, etc. The main thing to think out such situations which will be close and clear to the child.
6. “Guess!“ . Hide the face in hands and when you open, on it some emotion has to be represented. Suggest the child to guess that you represented. Then hide the face in hands again, and represent something new. When your imagination runs low, change over for the child - let him show, and you guess. In such game, as well as in previous, it is possible to play both with one child, and with group of children.
7.“ The tsarevna - a nesmeyana“. needs to hold This game with several children. We choose one child (the girl or the boy) who will play a role of the tsarevna (or the tsarevitch) - Nesmeyana. Its task - to try to keep as long as possible sad (or serious) a look. Other children have to think out in turn ways how to make laugh Nesmeyana. That at whom the first it will turn out wins. Then he at desire becomes Nesmeyana, and other children make laugh him (it is not allowed to tickle Nesmeyana). In game it is possible to use a rhyme about the Tsarevna - Nesmeyana:
the Whole day I sit one
Bitterly I pay at a window. Who who will win against
to Nesmeyan will make laugh
8. “How I speak?“ Emotions change not only a mimicry, but also intonations of a voice. Try to say the same usual phrase, for example: “Good morning!“ with different intonations (joyfully, sadly, angrily, it is with astonishment, scaredly, interested, with insult, angrily, cheerfully). Let the child will try to guess intonation with which you say the phrase. Think up other phrase, for example, “Quietly nights“ and change over.
9.“ Ask a coin“. the Person with the high level of emotional intelligence has no problems in communication. But also development of skills of communication promotes development of emotional intelligence, when the child seeks to construct constructive dialogue, he learns to understand an emotional condition of the partner in communication, to consider its feelings. There is a set of options of such game when one participant has to persuade other participant to give him something or to make something. It is better to hold such game with several children or children and adults.
10. Verbal games on emotional development. > it is very convenient to strong to play such games with the child on the road, in the car. And it is possible to play them and with group of children. These games help to develop logical thinking, the speech, but that the most important - they allow us to understand better the child, his relation to life.
- “If... that“. You describe to the child some situation which happened to this or that person, his task - to tell that the person at the same time felt. The three-year-old kid can even suggest to play this game. Than the child, that a high probability is younger that his answers will be not absolutely exact, for example: “Mother bought the daughter ice cream, and the daughter...“ (the kid can answer - tasty, it was pleasant...). Or: “The boy struck a knee. And...“ (most likely the small child will answer: began to cry or is sick). In that case help the kid, specifying his answer and expanding a lexicon: “To the girl it was tasty, so it was pleasant to her, she was delighted? The boy began to cry, it was painful to him, he was upset?
- “So happens? Prove!“ You describe to the child some situation and emotions which are experienced by its participants. And then you ask, there can be it or not and why. Do not try to receive the sample answer from the child - listen to its version, the main thing that he could prove it. Such task will develop not only to logician, but also it is non-standard to think of ability. For example, the boy presented to the girl a flower, and she was upset. There can be it? And if the girl likes other boy?
- “I rejoice (I long, I am afraid, take offense, angry) when...“ Suggest the child to call in turn situations in which you rejoice (you long, you are afraid, take offense, you are angry). For example:“ I rejoice when... I go for a walk... I eat chocolate... The sun shines... I watch the animated film“. And so on. Who will call more (will tell the option to the last) - that and won. However, if you think out situations with negative experiences, you should not mention cases not of the best behavior of your child (“I am upset when you do not listen to me, you play about at a table, you jump on a sofa...“ ). And that the child will think that you specially thought up such boring game that once again to bring up him, and will bother to play, most likely, to him quickly.
A in conclusion - a little bit personal experience. My two sons - stair-steppers appeared in different conditions. With the senior I was fond of “early development“, and he really much everything knows and is able for the age, but sometimes to it difficult is to find a common language with other children. When grew up younger, I did not have enough enough time for intellectual occupations with it and I already and was not sure of their need. With it I paid more attention to emotional communication. And though he does not read in 3,5 years as the senior (and even does not know letters yet), but grows at the open, sociable and self-assured child. I think, it is important. Whether this regularity is casual, or so just coincided - it is difficult to judge, but one as mother and as the teacher I know for certain - emotions and feelings play a huge role in full formation of the little man therefore it is very important to pay attention to their development.