Rus Articles Journal

Food cult in a family: how to fight against it

“Well how mushrooms? Are not put too much salt? And kartoshechka how kartoshechka? Surely taste meat. It was possible, the truth? It was lucky that not rigid got. Why at us nobody eats salatik, I so tried, did salatik?“. So ritual dancings of the hostess around a holiday table look. It is enough to praise its creations or to tell a joke - and the table-talk will go to other course. But there are families in which it is necessary to listen to such monologues daily. There passionately serve a food cult.

the Reverent attitude to food

Family where the food cult prospers, it is simple to em to calculate. As a rule, here several generations under the same roof gathered. And, seemingly, questions of food which are given exclusive importance - the only thing that unites all, but unites strong. In - the first, seminars are daily held:“ What we will prepare tomorrow“ (somehow comes to nobody to mind that there will be a day, and there will be a food). In - the second, despite the hammered refrigerator, these people lack something eternally: besides big shopping, they daily make small grocery attacks - mayonnaise reached a limit, parsley faded, vinegar turned sour. In - the third, in kitchen constantly there is some Brownian motion: something is fried, takes a steam bath and pines; hardly the lunch will end - the dinner begins to prepare. In - the fourth, any talk in the house will be anyway reduced to questions of food. If guests - what to feed with if someone tells about holiday come - the question as ate in hotel will be brought up. If in the house the child, then the lion`s share of care of it is reduced to the fact that “badly eats“ moreover and is irregular. Hundred to one that all this it is nutritious - with educational policy in the house are filled by one person: the woman who stepped 50 - summer a boundary, mother or the grandmother. In a word, hostess of the house. Whether it is necessary to say what in this family all overeat?

Priests of a cult of food

One business when separately taken woman has frustration of food behavior. Another matter - when she subordinates all house to the ideas of how it is necessary to eat. It also occurs if the food cult under the leadership of the Supreme priest reigns in the house.

the Supreme priest has all completeness of the power. The hostess (the Supreme priest quite so is called) will find one million justifications to why she makes decisions for all. Men - “yes that they can“, average generation - very busy, it is necessary to exempt it from homeworks whenever possible. And that to grandsons - that to whom, as not to it which grew up the two (three five) children, the nobility that is necessary for the small child.

Fidelity to food preferences. Try to ask the priest to refuse some products. Try to tell “too fat“, “cholesterol“, “a big portion“. You will be answered:“ but tasty “, “ all this nonsense “, “ but in an hour you will not get hungry“.

Hidden manipulation. Attempt to sabotage a food cult, having reduced a portion or having refused food, - to feel the easiest way guilty. The hostess will be distressed that she to you ceased to please, her cooking that she tried, and you do not appreciate that you do not love it and do not respect its work that you eat “on the party“ when especially for you try. Generally, as in a joke - it is sometimes simpler to be given, than to explain why you do not want it.

About what is signaled by a food cult?

Generational. the Age of priests of a cult of food says to us that all of them are united by not too full childhood which fell on post-war years. They raised the children at the time of total Soviet deficiency. Call: “The food will not be enough for all“ sat down at their subconsciousness and became defining in behavior. They are faithful to the patriarchal principle:“ the woman has to be good in housekeeping to deserve respect of a family“. No matter, that the material situation was stabilized long ago, and the family often exists only nominally, upon accommodation on one living space.

But if the fear of hunger was only generational, then all women for 50 would overfeed the families? Obviously, also other mechanisms operate.

Emotional. Food as it is piece daily and regular, becomes the bearing design for family life. Communication of all family members keeps on one subject - food, other binding subjects are not observed. The constant chewing of this perspective allows family members not to notice that their joint life is empty, almost unites nothing them, except life, and family way keeps only on rituals. Food - the only way of all to organize and create visibility of common cause.

Psychosomatic. several psychosomatic reasons of such behavior Are, they can be significant everything together or separately. In - the first, in such family direct manifestations of love in a family are rejected, and on their place there are oral habits. In - the second as process of food is a way instantly to derive pleasure and to remove unpleasant thoughts, at the people inclined to an overeating, the picture of an internal zadergannost, tendency to despair and flight in loneliness is observed. They do not receive love from people around and do not love themselves. Food for them - replacement of care and protection against a depression, means disposal of alarm and a way to receive though some pleasure from life.

For those who got under distribution

can be Felt as

on himself oppression of a cult of food in two ways: having been born in such family where the cult of food reigns or having got to it. Consequences are obvious:

  • excess weight and discontent with,
  • feeling of manipulation: that you not the owner to yourself, and people around are free to dispose of your day regimen and to create to you artificial requirements,
  • sense of guilt: not to eat - means, to offend.

What here to do?

  1. From the tactical party - not to try to pull a blanket on itself, that is, not to prepare for itself separately, not to refuse food, not to moralize, not to enter the conflict. On the contrary - surely you praise food (without waiting for leading questions).
  2. Strategic moment: try to provide to the priest of a cult of food feeling of a demand: you ask for suggestions, ask opinions, you share an event. Yes you do not need these councils, a matter of course - but your neighbor needs to get rid of isolation.
  3. one more task, difficult Is: to try to find what instead of food can unite a family. Repair, solving of crossword puzzles, listening of audiobooks. If something, of course, is still capable to unite a family. In some families the maniacal aspiration to purity, to an order becomes “the sticking together factor“ - same as a food cult-. Try to find some not destructive alternative to a food cult.
  4. Well and if you seek to grow thin, best of all to think up to yourself a nonexistent disease or the diet appointed by the doctor. Also do not dare to break it, otherwise for the second time already nobody will believe in your “disease“.