If the parent in a depression. Part 1
Often a depression is not considered as a serious disease and are not tried to be treated. What is it dangerous to children of depressive parents by? How to reveal it at an early stage? How to behave if there are bases to assume a depression at themselves or at own child?
Earlier the opinion that a depression - an illness of intellectuals occurred. Actually, statistically, every fifth inhabitant of the planet suffers from this frustration: not only people, but even dogs and cats. It is not necessary to consider as a depression bad mood. There are no such people who are always quiet and cheerful. Even if the mood often spoils, it is yet not an occasion to think of existence of a disease. It can be assumed in case symptoms of which it will be a question below are shown at the person constantly not less than within four months.
Distinguish a depression and depressive reactions which usually arise in response to external difficulties (stressogenny situations).They are very different
- from economic and social to deeply personal: a sharp grief from - for death of the loved one, a serious illness, divorce, change. The situation is resolved, and the depression remains and aggravated, dragging on for months and even years. The person changes - before live, open, vigorous becomes closed, cold, plunges into himself. Sometimes “gets sick“ (it is more characteristic of women) or begins to drink (as many men). This not depressive reaction to a stressogenny situation, and a true depression as an illness which is shown in decrease not only moods, but also working capacity: it becomes difficult to think, interest to surrounding falls, often even muscular activity is at a loss.
also other, not so strong indications of a depression Exist: frequent headaches, violations of appetite, frustration of a dream and/or sexual desire, decrease in the general tone (slackness, weakness).
At initial stages of people almost always begins to give gloomy estimates to all events, “gets stuck“ on the memoirs disturbing, disturbing him, condemns himself for the wrong behavior in this or that situation. These thoughts constantly “turn“ in the head, generating mental anguish, a regret, repentance or disappointment and rage.However should remember
that depressions happen neurotic and endogenous. At neurotic it is always possible to find the reason, a constant or just arisen, but rather strong. The person is critical to the state, tries to understand what happens to it, looks for sympathy and the help. There is no inadequate interpretation of the painful experiences and the reasons of their emergence. Such forms of depressive frustration are treated first of all by psychotherapeutic levers, but in especially hard cases application of medicines is not excluded.the Endogenous depression begins
for no apparent reason. Suddenly the person has ideas of self-abasement and fault, and real social achievements of a role do not play. There is a feeling of so-called zagrudinny or precordial melancholy - weight in a breast. In the morning the mood is much worse, than in the evening. There are thoughts of death or even desire to commit suicide. Sometimes the person in general denies the depression, claiming that what happens to him, - result of a malefice, damage, sorcery, etc. At an endogenous depression sometimes attacks of causeless melancholy are suddenly replaced by euphoria.
one more, perhaps, the most frequent, but the most difficult recognizable type of a depression - “hidden“, or “masked“ Is. The illness usually hides behind a mask of some another, most often somatic, diseases. At such depression the numerous and painfully endured violations of corporal feeling are put in the forefront. The depressions suffering from this look make considerable part of polyclinic reception of various experts: gynecologists, cardiologists, gastroenterologists, endocrinologists. Doctors of somatic clinics, having conducted full examination of the patient, joyfully tell him that all are normal, but to the patient from it it becomes even worse, he the truth suffers! From where then these heartaches at the normal electrocardiogram? Why pressure “jumps“? And a stomach why hurts? Why all the time that diarrhea, nausea? And unclear headaches? Such sufferers can be helped only by the qualified psychotherapist or the neuropsychiatrist.
the Depression, clear, does not spare also mothers with fathers.
Whatever parents had a depression, let it also was noticed in time, and at once began to treat, for the child - an impressive event.by
of People normal it is very adaptive. There are no such conditions to which the person could not adapt if his mentality is not deprived of such magic property as plasticity. The depression of this property deprives. Even the small irritant, in usual time insignificant, increases in trauma scales. For the child loss of plasticity can look as the fact that mother or the father began to be angry with what before them did not concern strongly. Rules exchanged, and the child has to somehow learn to live in a new way. While he tries to adapt to changes in parental mentality, there is no time left and forces for development in it any more.
“Earlier mother cheerfully with me together cleaned my toys, and now she shouts at me and demands that I cleaned them. Can give a clip also. I am afraid of it. I watch closely her mood, I am better I will play the same toy though I actually want to pull out “Lego“ and to build the lock to all room. But last time mother did not allow me to finish and kicked my detalk with legs. So I will better not build, I will drive an engine, he can be moved away quickly“.
Here the kid also sits, and dimly rolls an engine instead of fascinating construction which, by the way, develops coordination of an eye and hand, dexterity and small motility.
the Depression causes feeling of incompetence. Parents, especially young, begin to consider that nothing is known, do not understand, cannot, and it is terrible from - for it worry. Can seem to parents that they can learn nothing that they dull and confused. Besides, the depression deprives of the person of ability to respond emotionally to something. Feelings become faded and dulled, and the person loses an opportunity to empathize others, including the child, to share his grieves and pleasures, and from - for it inevitably it appears in sincere vacuum. It in itself adds suffering.is farther than
- more. The person suffers also from the insensibility. It is clear, that in such condition of people it is concentrated on itself, a natural egocentrism - its almost only property. It is shipped in the experiences, its sensitivity and vulnerability become aggravated extremely. Any word of other person causes offense and/or aggression, the depressive person remains without skin. And of course, there are no forces sincere on seeing and hearing what is created with own child any more. The person in a depression very sharply experiences the uselessness, dissociation with the world, rejection by everything, the child including even if it is about the chest kid. What there adequacy...
the Child does not receive an emotional response, the parent communicates with it formally, there is not enough and incorrectly looks after, awfully getting tired, literally being exhausted, from simple interaction with it. With the dead person, having hung, mother is present at game, either bathing, or feeding of the child, soaring at the same time thoughts somewhere is far. The child should solicit attention of mother or the father by all available means. Babies sob, children are more senior draw attention, generally with bad behavior, diseases and whims. Instead of developing, learning to eat with a spoon, etc., the child in every way tries to interest the depressive parent. On it all available forces and vital energy leave. For the child there is nothing more terribly than parental indifference. When parents physically are, and they are not in communication - the child feels strong alarm, concern and, in turn, and a depression (in the started cases). Began to speak, and here mother got sick with a depression - and again became silent, trying to return on the previous stage of development when it was still good and mother was with it.
At a depression it is a lot of accompanying mental violations, usually any fears and persuasive states. Quite often fears and alarms concern the child, desired and long-awaited. The psychiatrist E. M. Vrono described a case which she observed in clinic.
“I had a patient, she gave birth to the first and last child almost in forty years, having recovered after the heaviest fracture of all pelvic bones (lived in the village, got in youth under a tractor). There were hardest injuries, was treated - treated, after thirty years married happily, gave rise. When to the child there were two or three, she got sick. A deep depression with a mesophobia - fear of pollution. She continuously washed hands, erased skin to a bone and was afraid to touch something, in particular, to the daughter. And the daughter is three years old. That it was for it, it is possible to imagine: in general any possibility of corporal contact with mother. It is absolutely rejected“.
the Most vulnerable motherhood period for a depression - right after childbirth. Many women in the first months after the delivery test apathy, alarm, irritability, alienation - at all not those feelings which, apparently, young mother has to test. They throw into confusion her, the father of the child, relatives. Why at this time often there is a depression? In - the first, after the delivery there are considerable hormonal changes. If during pregnancy the increasing level of hormones provides an optimum blood-groove in placenta vessels, and at the time of delivery - ability of a uterus to reductions, then after the delivery the level of hormones considerably decreases that causes a certain emotional recession.
In - the second, the overfatigue and a sleep debt connected with feeding and care of the newborn.also the psychological reasons of a depression are Not less important
: the birth of the unwanted child, girl instead of the boy (or on the contrary), increase in a distance with the husband - the child`s father that inevitably occurs after the child`s birth when instead of couple the triad is formed, and support and attention of darling are especially necessary. Farther already all ideas of own incompetence, horror at thought that there is no ability to love the child, increased fatigue in combination with real deficiency of a dream are imposed on clinically outlined depression, and there are different violations up to a suicide with which the postnatal depression is fraught as poorly what another. It is properly very difficult to understand that young mother wants to die, having thrown the child. For it is the only thing that she can make for it, she is sure that such disgusting mother, remaining with the child, will only do much harm to it.