The personal record of
the Problem of a children`s onanism for the majority of us is under a ban. Having noticed once as the child does something under a blanket, parents panic and try to relieve it of this awful “habit“ at any cost. Meanwhile children`s masturbation - at all not accident, and here aggressive reaction of adults can do much harm to the kid very seriously.
From where it undertook?
the Answer the simplest - by nature. At a fruit the erection can be observed on ultrasonic research, at babies (both at boys, and at girls) it happens during feeding, bathing and games to parents. It not manifestation of the increased sexuality of the child, and all - navsy reaction to pleasure from corporal contact with the loved one.
Research by the child of own body - a necessary stage of development. For the baby there is no special difference between a heel and genitals: he tries to touch all hands reach. How I am arranged? What do I feel? What feelings are pleasant and what - on the contrary? The touch to genitals can quite give to the kid pleasure, and he will try to repeat, naturally, the actions which led to such result. The largest scientists in this area, U. Mastere and V. Johnson, describe an infantile onanism as the natural period of development of sexuality. At the same time they notice that such behavior can remain at least to
the Relation to children`s sexuality and to a children`s onanism as to its private manifestation for the last five hundred years changed from absolute indifference before rigid suppression. Till Modern times, in the Middle Ages and even in Renaissance, looked at this problem very indulgently: was considered that the child is too small to control himself. In the 18th century the children`s onanism was considered as so vicious and dangerous phenomenon that some parents applied to disposal of the child of it designs, a reminding medieval “belt of fidelity“. During the Victorian era idea that masturbation leads to intellectual degradation and madness was widespread. Certificates on young men which, not in forces to cope with the fact that it seemed to them harmful passion remained committed suicide.
What with it to do?to
It happened: you found the kid behind quite certain occupation. Do not abuse at all, you do not shame and do not punish him. The main problems connected with a children`s onanism and remaining at adult age are caused by reaction of parents. In case of aggressive behavior of adults at the kid communication of sexual feelings with fear and a shame which will very negatively affect its future can be fixed.“ Plot of shame and silence“, surrounding everything that is connected with a floor and appropriate authorities, can lead to the fact that, having become more senior, the child will not tell about any situation demanding your intervention (for example, about sticking from the adult or senior child), the kid will be afraid of discontent of parents even more, than the potential tyrant. In long-term prospect such “ostrich`s policy“ will halloo impossibility to discuss with the partner these or those intimate questions, not to mention the difficulties connected with perception of the body as something dirty and shameful.Sometimes parents try to establish to
complete control of all actions of the child “not to allow“ or, at least, “in time to stop“ forbidden process. Such methods, though can bring fast success, affect children`s mentality traumatic. Constantly controlled kid as if would receive from mother with the father the message that he not worthy trust also cannot regulate the behavior even within corresponding to age.
So the main parental task at the time of “X“ - to keep the Olympic calm. Even if you are ready extremely Puritan, try not to abuse the kid and do not tell him that the touch to intimate places conducts to hand warts and an usykhaniye of brains. Thus you can not only frighten the successor, but also undermine own authority: the child quickly will understand that from this forbidden occupation no blisters appear and brain crinkles do not begin to drop out through a nose. So, the trust to what is told by mother and the father undoubtedly, will reel.the children`s onanism of health hazard In itself and development of the child does not represent
. The question of how masturbation will affect adulthood of the child, for example its intimate relations can disturb careful parents. And here it is necessary to tell thanks to “kind“ grandmothers and grandfathers who, having learned about in what their grandson sometimes is engaged under a blanket, begin to predict to the child with “such bents“ terrible destiny. Forbid themselves to listen to high-moral prophecies, according to sexologists, more than a half of children “do it“, and the vast majority of them grow up no more immoral, than those who were never engaged in anything in similar. Danger which is born in itself by a children`s onanism consists in reaction of adults to it. If the person, significant for the child, persistently inspires in it that it has vicious bents, then sooner or later the kid will try to justify such assumptions. This mechanism has no relation to actually sexual behavior: in the same way it is possible to inspire in the child that he is a rude fellow, the ignoramus or the clumsy.
Parents can worry also that the habit to masturbation will remain at adult age, but also in it there is nothing terrible at all. Statistically, nine of ten adult men and more than a half of adult women are regularly engaged in masturbation, not to mention teenagers for whom it is the only and quite safe method to let out sexual tension. The onanism does not harm normal intimate life, and experts even “prescribe“ some women masturbation as remedy for sexual coldness.Children`s sexuality
In infancy sexuality development, strangely enough, is inseparable
If to tell about purely physiological party of business (about whether can damage, for example, the child to itself genitals thus) then there are two main dangers: the dirty hands and foreign objects thrust in a body. The last at early age (to
- as a signal?
the onanism In itself is not either a symptom of any illness, or its reason. But sometimes persuasive masturbation can be connected with the fact that the child endures a long stress. If matter in it, conduct the successor to the neuropsychiatrist - the doctor will appoint soft soothing which will support nervous system of the kid, and the problem will disappear. >
it makes sense to address serious medicamentous correction of p in that case when the child has expressed development violations (a hyperactivity, hypoxemic - ischemic defeat TsNS, intellectual backwardness, autism or early children`s schizophrenia) and the onanism arises on their background. Bleach it is about the systematic onanism repeating sometimes several times in day, and no serious neurologic problems at the child are revealed, parents need to ask themselves the following questions:“ Whether is enough for the kid of attention, caress and love (especially this question is actual for children of early age - to two - three years)? Whether there is no it too for a long time alone? Do you have time to stay with the child before going to bed or he falls asleep in the dark room? Whether sufficient you have a corporal contact? The policy of “not schooling to hands“ in this case is irrelevant, close relations with the loving adult are requirement, but not a whim. The child can be spoiled not embraces, and just their absence.
All as it should be in a surrounding situation? Whether there were in life of the kid large stresses recently? Affirmative answer? Means, the child is in great need in your attention! If talk does not help, it makes sense to address the children`s psychologist owning technicians of game or art therapy who will help the kid to cope with the experiences.
the Most unpleasant option: whether someone from surrounding adults could or to show the senior children to the child pornographic materials, to show the genitals or, on the contrary, to ask the child to show the?with
Before the kid begins to communicate with a wide range of people without your presence, it is necessary to explain him the “safety measures“ concerning corporal inviolability. Tell the son or the daughter that you should not show the genitals to anybody, except the doctor and parents. In case some adult asks the kid about something similar, it is necessary to refuse and it is obligatory, without hesitating, to tell about it to mother or the father. If it already happened, try to keep calm and surely isolate the child from the dangerous person up to the permission of a situation.
the Most “harmless“ reason - physiological: look whether is not present at the kid of an intertrigo, an inflammation of genitalia or an allergy with rashes in this area? If an affirmative answer, it is necessary to see a doctor and to carry out the corresponding treatment.