Rus Articles Journal

Sex - diagnostics: who are you?

B than secret of the happy and harmonious sexual relations? It appears, not in equipment, poses and compatibility at all - and in ourselves.

Despite abundance of information on sex, not all people can boast of happy sexual life. As soon as the passion ceases, we open eyes and we understand that the person who is nearby, at all not the one who is necessary to us. We hope that the new partner will be more suitable lover, but everything repeats again.

in search of the ideal partner we do not think that the main secret of the happy sexual relations is covered in ourselves.

the Foundation of sexual style is laid by

at infantile age. Then we receive the first, and therefore most important lessons about love, about the relations with people around, about trust, about fear.

It is established what children who in the childhood were a little ironed and caressed, quite often have serious mental deviations and with health at them usually not everything is all right.

Sex - a way which the adult ensures access to touches. Making love, we as if come back to infancy and we recreate conditions of that time: darkness, warmth, touches, vulnerability, nakedness, communication without words.

We become defenseless and completely we trust other person. If the partner ignores our desires, then we draw a conclusion that in the whole world nobody can satisfy and understand us.

Sexual experience strengthens the person in the negative or positive attitude with people around.

Sexual roles

Getting sexual experience, we learn to behave definitely and often to hide the vulnerability, we try on on ourselves various sexual roles.

Most of people chooses by

at once several roles which change depending on a situation. If you are not satisfied with the sexual life, perhaps, you became the hostage of some certain role which limits your opportunities to lead full happy life which you deserve.

Having found

itself in some character, you do not seek to change yourself, and use this information for further diagnostics of the sexual life. There are no correct and wrong styles, ways of love, sexual roles.

our sexual role and style of behavior are good
if sex gives us positive experience and satisfaction if helps to feel well if it does well love, brings happiness.

Style of behavior needs change if sex does not satisfy us if aggravates negative attitude to itself and the partner if brings a grief and frustration.

the Controller

you very much are nervous if you lose control over a situation. You should operate the events - both in sex, and in life. You like to order, criticize. You behave exactingly and aggressively not only in a bed, but also in life. From the partner you can hear charges of what you press on him.

Actually . You do not believe that you can be loved that someone can satisfy your inquiries. You got used to be responsible for everything that happens to you therefore you give to the partner of the instruction as you need to be loved, without waiting for an initiative from him. You very much want that cared for you, but you do not allow it the excessive control.

to you it is necessary for

. To learn to relax and give the chance to the partner most to choose, to make love how exactly. Learn to trust the partner and be attentive to his desires and offers. You study flexibility, patience and trust to life in general.

the Victim

all of you time contact the wrong partners who impudently use you. You constantly enter the relations with people which insufficiently you love and are not capable to give you satisfaction. If sex does not satisfy you, you are silent about it.

In life you are afraid to offend someone too, never advocate the interests, do not ask about anything. You dream to meet sometime the ideal person who will guess all your desires and will appreciate you.

Even if the partner feels that something not so, asks about it, you will say that everything is normal. He cannot understand what you want, and feels guilty.

Actually. you just are afraid to express the feelings, are afraid to remain alone, do not respect yourself, think that you do not deserve happiness.

to you it is necessary for

. to Learn to state the desires and to behave more actively, to speak “no“, when necessary, to trust itself and the feelings, to feel responsibility for the lifestyle.

the Egoist

you are very happy with yourself and the sexual life. You force the partner to behave so that you had the maximum satisfaction.

you are so absorbed by own experiences and feelings that you do not pay attention to needs of the partner. You always know what you want, and demand it.

you are whimsical, selfish, unapproachable

In life and do not like to listen to other people. Being near you, people feel the otioseness, deficiency of love, offense that they are used.

Actually. you very much are afraid to become dependent on the partner therefore you avoid the real proximity. You are afraid to remain lonely and unloved, you are afraid to receive less something.

to you it is necessary for

. to Learn not take, but also to give, rejoice to emotions of the partner, to trust the partner, to listen to his feelings. To open for love and to admit that you need this man.

the Actress

All the behavior and appearance you let know

that you are the most passionate mistress on light. The raised signs of attention and approval of people around are necessary for you, otherwise you take offense, and it seems to you that you are not loved.

you are inclined

to melodramas, jealousy and like to lavish the exaggerated praises and delights, creating a lot of noise and vanities around own person.

People near you often feel

isolated, deceived, feel mistrust, begin to be irritated. They are bothered by continuous game and falseness, the duty to constantly admire you tires, they lack sincerity.

Actually. Representing the increased sexuality, you mask fear to seem the bad mistress and fear to be thrown. You are subconsciously sure that love not you, and an image which you create. You are afraid that you in itself are not so interesting as your image. Uncertainty in itself and need for love and attention is behind the melodrama.

to you it is necessary for

. to Understand very important thing - that you were loved, it is optional to play. Be not afraid to show the I, be able to relax, be oneself, learn to give, but not to represent love.

the Snow queen


you are always cold to

and are not criminal. Nobody ever knows what you want actually. You never speak about the feelings, behave passively during sex. You answer all questions “To me all the same“, “I do not know“.

you never forgive nothing to

. An orgasm for you - a rarity. You are very sensitive and often are nervous. Near you the partner feels defective, the egoist and an aggressor, tests a depression, is angry.

Actually. you just are afraid to cause displeasure of the partner or saved up in yourself a huge charge of hatred to an opposite sex and therefore the catalepsy is a way of squaring of accounts. Perhaps, you were pursued by love failures or you in the childhood did not know parental love. Also similar behavior is characteristic of people who are offended on the partner (for example, from - for changes) or are on the verge of parting and thus try to revenge it.

to you it is necessary for

. to Learn to risk and express the feelings. Understand that people around will be able to meet requirements of you only when you learn to explain what you want. You learn to trust people and to forgive them.

the Aggressor

In sex you behave aggressively, roughly and always seek for domination. You like to talk bawdy, you bite, pinched, scratched etc. For you sex is not expression of love, and an opportunity to splash out the collected aggression and to satisfy I lust after power.

In life you can be as aggressive, impatient, quick-tempered and unpredictable, and silent and imperceptible, showing aggression only in a bed. You are not necessarily inclined to a sadism, just your passion is full of anger, but not love. The partner feels fear, excitement and rage, a dissatisfaction.

N and business. At heart you suffer from complexes. Most likely, you were beaten and humiliated in the childhood. You hate an opposite sex, are afraid to be left without love, are offended on the fact that you are not loved, are afraid to get under others influence, to show the vulnerability.

to you it is necessary for

. to Learn to show the weakness and vulnerability, to understand the reasons of the anger, to work them and to learn to trust people.

the Idler

you avoid proximity, finding all new explanations. You accuse the partner of excessive stickings.

you Show a passion minimum, you hide from problems, you do not state emotions, are rational and judicious, you treat yourself very seriously. The partner feels thrown and diffident. He tests anger and despair.

Actually. Usually such behavior is characteristic of people who live with unloved partners. But there are also other reasons. Perhaps, you avoid to face reality - both in a bed, and in life. At heart you - the sensitive and vulnerable person who is afraid of intimacy. You are sure that close relations can end for you very badly. You are afraid to be insolvent, to be to criticism and/or punished.

to you it is necessary for

. to Learn to live for today, but not to remember the past full of a negative. It is optional to be ideal that you were loved. Learn to be flexible, to trust love, to enjoy life and to have fun. If you do not love the partner and he does not excite you, then better leave him, having given the chance to both of you to meet more suitable people.

the Sweetheart

you constantly are interested in what is pleasant to the partner in sex, think of his pleasure, forgetting about the. You hide the true nature and you try to behave as the ideal mistress, you want to be pleasant to all.

you make to

In sex any concessions if only to deserve love. You do not feel pleasure, hardly you reach an orgasm, you do not think of the requirements.


to the Partner at first like complaisance and attention, but then he begins to feel falseness, feels as the egoist guilty. He intuitively realizes that too it is obliged to pretend to be if only not to offend you. Feels in a debt.

Actually. you are not sure of yourself, need love, but estimate yourself extremely low. You very much want to be pleasant to all and therefore in every way you seek to meet love and approval. You are afraid of loneliness, disapproval, a gap.

to you it is necessary for

. to Understand that it is not obligatory to pretend to be, adapt and cringe at all to deserve love of other person. Learn to speak “no“ if something is not pleasant to you. Understand that you deserve love, and refusal cannot destroy the real relations.

the Dreamer

you are inclined

to the exaggerated praises and compliments. You admire each sexual intercourse as if the best in life with you was not and could not be. Each new experience for you is better previous.

you convince yourself that life is fine and remarkable, and are afraid to face the truth. The partner understands that love not him, and a certain ideal, feels obliged to correspond, mistrustfully belongs to your delights.

Actually. you are afraid to be disappointed in life and in the partner, to remain alone, are afraid of own insolvency, do not want to admit to yourself that something goes not so. You constantly dream and deceive yourself.

to you it is necessary for

. to Learn to perceive life such what it to eat, trust itself and destiny, to be flexible. Understand: that you were loved, it is not necessary to be an ideal.


you adore advertizing the sexuality. Often you dart ardent looks, you tell stories with significant hints. You feel pleasure from that impression which you make, but not from the sex.

you attach Great value to the appearance and external attributes of success, you seek to communicate with the celebrities rich with people because it raises your self-assessment. Are jealous and sensitive. You like to represent mysteriousness.

you are very seductive

, but actually you do not love sex. When business reaches a bed, you avoid proximity under cover-ups. It as a bright wrapper in which candy is not wrapped.

to you is pleasant to be excited - but not to give pleasure to the partner and to feel the solvency and to subordinate itself the partner. The partner feels deceived, humiliated, used and sexually unsatisfied.

Actually. you are not sure of yourself, do not love sex and are afraid of spiritual wounds.

to you it is necessary for

. not to seek for leadership at the slightest pretext, to learn trust, to find in the life the purposes allowing to fill life with sense, to heal sincere wounds of the mistrustful offended child. Understand that it is possible to ego-trip not only for someone else`s account, but also thanks to achievement of own worthy purposes.

Sex - diagnostics

to improve the sexual life, it is necessary to understand what needs changes. Relying on knowledge of the sexual style, it is possible to carry out the express - diagnostics of the sexual life independently. It consists of several stages.

  1. a sheet of paper and write about everything that was not pleasant and did not arrange you in intimate life for the last months or years.
  2. Re-read the list again and write down in what your sexual style and your lifestyle coincide (whether there is a similarity between your behavior in a bed and your way of life). Make the second list.
  3. Make the list of concrete steps which will help you to change the life so that it contributed to the individual growth and happiness. If you have a partner, he can make similar lists about himself, and you together will be able to plan joint steps to achievement of the objectives.
When to you it becomes clear to

how your sexual behavior influences your life, disturbs happiness and success, you can modify the course of sexual training. The main thing that it gave you positive lessons, but not negative.

you Remember

: our behavior in a bed is directly connected with our feeling and life in general. Having changed the sexual behavior, it is possible to change all life.