Do not hurry him to live!
what the child “brakes“, especially considerably when you hurry. Ten minutes ago you put before it a hill of things which he fast has to pull on himself. But things are right where they started. You tear and throw. You to a maximum accelerate, condense the day that all to be in time, and this little person, apparently, does not want to understand you in any way and to come to the rescue. And even as though specially does everything three times more slowly. That it: character, the diagnosis or mockery over seniors? How with it to live in the world of high speeds?
we will reject the last assumption At once - about children`s sophisticated torture by slowness over eternally hurrying adults. Of course, the child so acts not from the evil. Simply, in - the first, he is a child. And, as all children on light, intuitively tries to prolong a happy time of serenity when adults are responsible for all its errors. This happiness so will come to an end soon!
In - the second, it is just such child. At someone the kid live as mercury, and parents do not know how to stop this perpetual motion machine until it finally carried the house. And your pleasure digs eternally. And for a start this reality should be accepted as the fact.
B - the third, let`s try to understand in what sluggishness reason specifically your child. All children have the reason. Conditionally sluggish kids psychologists divide into three groups.
treat this group children of phlegmatic temperament. These are absolutely healthy children, but their speed of processing of information is a little reduced. As well as rates of the general and physical development. Remember probably at your “phlegm“ and teeth were cut later and more slowly, than at others. And, perhaps, the baby began to go and speak later. Slowness at phlegmatic persons occurs at the level of all organism. Temperament type - the general property, congenital, invariable. To hurry such person at any age - all the same what to utter to it, once small, for the fact that at it teeth too long climb! There is no sense! From the angry mother`s urging on it will not become toothy quicker. Also and with all the rest.
As such child usually looks externally? It is a little plump, slightly - is slightly clumsy, slightly scattered, silent, a little emotionally dulled, but is good-natured. Usually “long reaches it“. This child, as a rule, as if “trudges“ behind the quick parents (especially if they are choleric persons or sanguine persons who always fly forward). In a class he writes more slowly than others, but is accurate. It is possible not to worry: sooner or later this person will prevail. And in general all such child undertakes, will be made though not quickly, but is qualitative. Behind it it is not necessary to remake. About such people speak: quietly goes, will be farther.
How to behave with “turtle“? It is necessary to learn not to adjust it. At least because it all the same will not begin to react to prishporivaniye as cannot quicker live. As if the teacher pulled him for himself how parents hurried, he will always move only at the speed. It will not allow to drag itself(himself) in system of others speeds. Therefore main recommendation to parents: go in step with the child!by
Of course, for this purpose will need a lot of patience, to wisdom and own organization. Especially heavy it is necessary to active parents. They will need to make additional effort over themselves to listen to the child, without irritation to accept the fact that it is not similar to them and to provide to live to it in its speed. Also there is nothing terrible that the child will spend slightly more time for development of letters or will longer gather for occupations. For it it is necessary to put only a little bit more time for collecting and for preparation for lessons - exclusively. And that this side play of time in a stock was always available, it is hardly necessary to overload your phlegmatic person with a large number of circles and sections. And the school should not be selected to it with high rate of training. It is desirable that also the teacher was the quiet person with a quiet voice and manners who does not seek to drive a class forward by all means. If to “slow turtles“ to pick up Wednesday in which they will feel comfortably they will become more successful to develop. And can even overtake others due to accuracies and pedantry peculiar to them, thoughtfulness and corrosiveness.
As the overloaded little phlegmatic person behaves? Most likely, he will pretend that to it in what to it order to be engaged is uninteresting, and will in every possible way try to avoid it. Such sign cannot be ignored. But there is a danger that the tired child will retire into oneself without signals of the help, for a long time will become isolated that will respond sooner or later diseases. The kid - the phlegmatic person is obedient, seldom goes for the open conflict even if something does not suit it. Mother has to consider this its feature and not use it. Pay attention whether the child on you of an eye when you conduct it on the next circle lifts. Whether he complains of head or any other pain. When it comes home how he behaves? Whether goes to the corner or the room as if trying to hide from all? Whether it at the same time closes a door? If all and occurs, so it lacks own space. Observe whether he wants to embrace you, to snuggle up? If the little man is overloaded, he will be removed from you, will not take by hand, and will never become itself the initiator of contact.
of “Squirrel in a cage“
It seems turn - spin, but at the same time business stands still... This group sluggish, little in time, but eccentrical kids the most widespread. They have other problem - the reduced neurodynamic regulation. In other words, it is children with the weakened, quickly exhausted brain power. Owing to feature of course of pregnancy at mother or childbirth, the injuries of the early childhood postponed about a year of serious diseases (under the general anesthesia, Cesarean section, use of tools during patrimonial activity - nippers, expression etc.) these children got a slight injury of stem and cortical departments.
Than weak power dynamic indicators can respond? Two basic components - stem and perednekorkovy departments are involved in formation of attention, memory, thinking, control. Stem are responsible for the general tone of bark, frontal - for the general control, for ability to count the actions step by step. If there is no tone how control was good, the child with great difficulty will be given sciences. But if there is a strong incentive motive, the little man will extend himself as Myunkhauzen, for hair. However it will get success enormous tension. A lot of things depend also on education: as far as to the child imparted concept it “is necessary“. However, the child purely physically can appear is not ready to serious strong-willed effort. Then it will pour out, most likely, in a slight cold. The organism at the level of a body will tell:“ Stop“.
How to understand that your child - “squirrel in a cage“? About such children speak: passed from the sublime to the ridiculous. They with enthusiasm start working, but from - for the fact that it is not enough resources, easily distract. Thus children look for feed in out of: turn, spin, stimulate themselves due to expansion of touch and corporal experience. Pull others. Usually trifle with something, rustle with leaflets, endlessly click the handle. Can shake on a chair. Through this rhythmic action unconsciously activate a blood-groove and the nervous terminations. Everyone drops on a floor. It is not looseness, and again - unconscious desire to occupy a pose headfirst during which inflow of blood to a brain amplifies. These children adore standing on the head, to go on hands, to overhang as monkeys, from sofas. They run circles and shout - shout. Shout try to excite themselves too.
of the Recommendation to parents:Main to understand
in time that the child was tired. And not to abuse for the fact that “turns - the sphere blue spins“. It differently cannot. To be angry with it for it - all the same what to accuse that it has blue eyes, and at all wons - brown! It is such, and cannot be another. It needs to be helped with study. As soon as the child begins to distract, give him instructions which are not connected directly with lessons, but which will give the chance to be recharged to the head and to be discharged to a body. Let the fidget will water flowers, will sweep the floor, will jump on a ball etc. If mother builds the interaction with the child competently, emotionally warmly and ripened, sooner or later he will learn to control himself.
children a little other type treat the same group: from overfatigue they do not shout and do not run, and are just cut down as the sat-down battery. Times, and them are not present.
How to notice “the sat-down battery“?
On a blank look, on the hand which stiffened over a notebook, on the handwriting which is gradually decreasing on the weakening pressing. This category of children is more difficult previous. They leave in themselves, and will not shake them any more. These are children with lower level of neurodynamic indicators. They it is disturbing sleep, often have bad dreams because the child thinly and painfully reacts to an assessment of adults, feeling what not always meets their expectations.
of the Recommendation to parents:by
to Make an encephalogram, to visit the neuropathologist, perhaps, an osteostalemate or the surgeon - the orthopedist. If experts are not against, then to apply any respiratory gymnastics and contrast morning douches. But without the permission of doctors of it it is impossible to do.to Both types of children the daily routine and food is necessary for
. And “batteries“ and “little squirrels“ it is necessary to spoon-feed nearly: they will not take neither apple, nor a pechenyitsa. They literally need to put food in a hand and in a mouth because food for them - that gasoline for the car. In the morning of the child it is necessary to bring into an active tone by means of a shower, a light massage sheyno - a vorotnikovy zone, a breakfast with inclusion of honey, dried fruits, plitochka of bitter chocolate. And during the day to maintain brain activity by respiratory gymnastics and sports occupations (for example, at - shu, neuroyoga, swimming). But for this purpose consultation of the doctor will be required too. >
It is also useful for p to get a driver`s masseur for a back with the rotating balls and the “prickly“ roller under legs - for massaging of feet. With their help it is possible to prepare homework and at the same time to intensify the necessary nervous terminations.
I, at last, how to do homework? Everyone a quarter of hour to arrange a break during which it is possible to climb on the Swedish wall or to jump on a ball. On fitballs oral lessons are perfectly learned, especially fine there are verses. You do not want to jump - sing. Rhythmic organized phrases too perfectly unload. The general duration of preparation of lessons should not exceed 1 hour. The big mistake to include animated cartoons and books in a break.
Preparation for a dream - long before not less than for an hour. And any excessive activity. At this time you should not start serious talk which is so loved by mothers. It is better to lull the baby of a soft bathroom with the weakening salt and a lullaby, gently touching a forehead, cheeks, elbows, hips, a back. It will help it to relax better in a soft bed with nice on the touch linen. By the way, many parents consider that it is useful to sleep on firm. It does not suit kids of the second group.
are dreamers, visionaries, poets. For hours they it is interested can consider a small insect on a flower or own finger, than enrage parents... They have the hierarchy of motives. Today about such speak - “children - indigo“. They differently see the world, than other people, especially their peers, differently stay in it as possess sensitivity 10 times more, than all others. Are quite often talented, susceptible to beauty of the outside world, to its half tones, to its laws. They have the special way of knowledge of the world. They are beyond the years wise. Their main difficulty - children can not always keep in system of social norms and requirements. They live as if in several realities at once. For psychiatrists and neuropsychiatrists it is boundary children at which everything is quite good, but at diagnostics distortion of thinking and internal motivational components is observed. It is the first subgroup of “aliens“.
Among those who treat the second subgroup it is a lot of lefthanders.
of “Aliens“ cannot be abused. In any case, the discontent needs to be stated so that it was not perceived by them as “I - bad“. For mother big courage will be required to accept the child it what he is. And if mother is able to be adjusted on its wave, it will enter the world of social requirements easier. The child will estimate sincerity of adults and desire to understand him. And - we will mention absolutely a jungle - such child teaches us to the correct relation to life, with ease peels the main thing from minor about which ourselves knew, but behind vanity forgot. These children return us to themselves. And still big question: whose hierarchy of motives actually more true. It is important to child to inform that he remarkable, but the world around slightly another and if to study and follow elementary rules of conduct, then first of all will be easier for him, the child. Before it the choice such: or to go the way and to suffer because you do not fit in. Or to play with this world in game - it seems as on its conditions, but keeping itself. If these children learn to cope with the difficulties, then they are future directors of the world, these are people with a new, new view on everything.
What to advise parents? Try to act spontaneously. Here he sits at lessons, suddenly reflected. Your first reaction - to return from heaven on the earth. But you make differently. Track where his eye is turned: for a window, on a flower, still somewhere... Ask tenderly: “Of what you think now? Too it is interesting to me“. First the child, unusual to the similar relation, it can shock: what it with mother? Also it is necessary to be ready to the fact that at the beginning he will tell nothing to you. But if you are consecutive, sooner or later such tactics will bear fruits. Be able to follow for it, listen to those metaphors which the child himself offers; try to answer in unison. Let`s say the child declares that it does not like a sharp voice of the teacher therefore he does not want to listen to it. Ask:“ And to what this voice is similar?“ Let`s say on a pipe. Advise to try to muffle this sound in the head, to reduce “loudness“, as in the radio receiver. If the child is inclined to poetic creativity, but there are problems in development of objects, rhyme rules to Russian, to mathematics. Perhaps, it will help it to perceive a difficult subject with enthusiasm. If he draws, draw with him the same rules. You approach study, communication creatively - through an internal resource of the kid.