To - and postnatal depressions. Began part 2
Though to give advice - often useless, and from the point of view of psychology science - simply inadmissible business (the psychologist has to help each person to find own way, to draw the, individual conclusions from current situation), I nevertheless will make bold to make several recommendations to pregnant women or already given rise women who faced a depression.
Remember that a depression during
I to - and postnatal depressions never proceed as hard as the depressions connected with losses (an exception the birth of the sick, defective child, of course, is) as the pleasure of expectation or positive experiences connected with already born kid are always interwoven into this period. It is necessary to seize these joyful moments and to lean emotionally on them.
For example, you was covered by a prenatal depression, but you notice that you distract and even enjoy very much, long choosing and getting children`s things, or, maybe, when you sew and make something for your kid. Surely allocate more time for such occupations, do not listen to anybody`s councils that to prepare a dowry in advance - a bad sign, then you feel happy. Or other example: one of the most widespread strangenesses of pregnant women is the aspiration to retire, most often where - nibud outdoors or at least in park. One pregnant woman from my group who was born and all life lived in the city, the last months of pregnancy went to the private sector which still remained in our city, and for hours walked there, enjoying a smell of an oven smoke.
needs to treat with great respect for similar strangenesses and to find time and opportunities that to satisfy them and to receive from it pleasure. Nobody still can precisely explain an origin of these or those strange desires of pregnant women, but at all times they were tried to be respected, and now a maternity leave - just that time when any woman anyway can listen to herself.
Often depressions are characterized by the increased aggression, i.e. you can test strong irritation and rage. Unfortunately, both this irritation, and this rage is very frequent are splashed out on our relatives though they also do not deserve it. As a result the relations with those people from which you could get support can spoil. In an amicable way, in such situation it is better for each woman to go to reception to the psychologist to understand a source of this state. Perhaps, it originates in the childhood or at all during the pre-natal period when you your mother was pregnant. Perhaps, you are angry not with the husband, the senior child or the mother-in-law, and with someone from your remote past. But as not everyone can receive the qualified psychological assistance, it is necessary to look for other exit. And it is. There are two universal ways “plum“ of aggression: physical activity and shout. Not without reason, having cried out and having broken several plates, it is possible to feel calmed. But if to speak about more constructive options, then these are, of course, good physical activities, whether it be special occupations in the hall or the pool or just long foot walks, and also loud singing of songs. Therefore karaokes and chants at stadiums are so popular that allow the person to splash out the collected negative energy. And it is possible to go to the wood or to the river bank and just to shout with all the might “Hey, an ega - the gay!“ or something similar.
B situation more favorable in this situation women who work hard physically are. City inhabitants whose professional activity often intellectual, and life is organized so that physical activities become minimum more suffer from impossibility to splash out negative energy. Here also it turns out that at first we buy washing and dishwashing cars, the vacuum cleaner and other equipment, and then we are in addition spent for fitness. If you were lucky, and you live in own house, then it is good to spend all unnecessary energy, without being afraid that it will do much harm to your kid, for housework or in a kitchen garden.
Besides, during a depression the mentality needs a large amount of other, positive energy. It is about a power of love and cheerfulness which support the person during the difficult period and help it to come to the new level of personal development as a result. And there is a question where to take such energy. Question of resources, perhaps, the most difficult. Not without reason from - for a lack of this energy many people avoid collision with difficult, at times sad experiences. For this reason the most widespread problem in experience of a sharp grief is a jamming of mentality in the period of denial or search of replacement of the lost object. The depressive period - the most energy-intensive and if the mentality of the person has no resource of positive energy, then there is no opportunity to endure it.the Question of search of such energy is very individual
. In a concrete case, during experience to - or postnatal depressions (process very female) forces are for this purpose put in the woman by her mother, and also all feminine gender of her family. It is good if women of your sort strong. I mean full acceptance of the feminity and a maternal realizovannost by force. It when the granddaughter receives from the grandmother approximately such message:“ As it is good that you were born the girl! Happiness - to love the man and to be loved by it! Happiness - to give birth to children!“ It is bad if in your family a message other. But there are no desperate situations, and in this case it is possible to look for the necessary energy in other place. At all times young women lasted to grown wise life to grandmothers, accumulating from communication with them of experience, heat and love. Attentively look, in your environment surely there will be such woman, or even not one at which you will be able to learn much, and, above all - to receive that energy necessary for you. And if it is not option? Then reflect... Not without reason any people had the belief. The Russian people have an orthodox belief, so, each Russian woman has a protection and Blessed Virgin Mary`s love. Of course, a question of belief very personal, but sometimes this only thing that can give strength to endure the difficult period of life.
I the last that I would like to tell in this article. If you were attentive, then understood that it is more real to use the majority of the advice given by me during pregnancy, than in the first months of life with the child. When 24 hours in days near you are the kid needing constant care, not really - that will run to shout at the river bank, to inhale an oven smoke or to be engaged in fitness. For this reason I advise not to avoid negative experiences during pregnancy. Bearing the child, pay attention whether trace you lingered on a stage of denial or search of replacement of the lost object. For overcoming of these periods communication with other pregnant women is very useful: on courses, special gymnastics, in a maternity welfare unit, just on the street or at network forums. And surely in time go on a maternity leave! The fact that you will remain alone with yourself will provoke those experiences and emotions which though are burdensome, but so are necessary for you in due time to accustom to a new role, a role of mother.