To - and postnatal depressions. Part 1
the Postnatal depression - the subject which is often discussed and causes alarm and fear in many pregnant women. About a prenatal depression speak and write less, but, nevertheless, both future mothers, and the experts anyway connected with the period of incubation of the child know about emotional problems of this period. In this article I would like to answer several questions: Whether “The depression is so terrible and in what it, actually, is expressed?“, whether “It is possible to avoid a depression?“, whether “Are connected somehow among themselves to - and postnatal depressions?“.
the simplest definition of a depression sounds so:“ This oppressed and suppressed mental state“. At the person who is in a depression all emotions and desires are oppressed: he is not hungry, and he eats food mechanically, without pleasure; there is no wish to work, and he wastes huge efforts to turn out itself(himself) in the morning; there is no wish to communicate with anybody, and it diligently avoids contacts with people; and, at last, extreme displays of a depression - unwillingness to live and suicide thoughts. I will make bold to claim that all people in a varying degree face in the life similar experiences. Moreover, the modern psychology says that the depression is normal for the mature person, for example, during experience of a sharp grief by him (death of the loved one, divorce and so forth). Another thing is that this depression does not last more than half a year and is expressed in grieving and a regret about the lost human relations. Whereas all this is connected with the pregnancy period?
the child`s Birth - it is rather an acquisition, but not loss, but at the same time, you see, this and global change in our life. Often, expecting the kid, the woman realizes that she of her antecedents will never be any more. In fact, it needs “to bury“ itself former and to feel absolutely in new quality. In psychology it is called change of internal representation. As well as in case of a sharp grief (when before mentality of the person there is a task to change internal representation, for example, from the married person on divorced), and in case of incubation and the child`s birth in mentality of the woman there is a work on change of the feeling. Internal representation from the childless woman on the woman - mother, from mother of one child on mother of two children changes. It turns out that for mentality to overcome any global changes - both loss, and acquisition - equally complex challenge. Therefore during pregnancy, especially in the third trimester, together with pleasure the woman tests sometimes and complex feelings.such thoughts are not rare
for this period: Whether “I will be able sometime to return to the work?“, “If I am able to return whether I will lag behind catastrophically the colleagues?“, whether “I will be so interesting to the husband?“, “The child is such responsibility, and forever! Whether I will sustain it?“, whether “Good mother will turn out from me?“ . Similar questions can be listed long. They are known to all, that oppressed and suppressed mental state as uncertainty in itself, in own forces and opportunities and results in such depression also is reflected in them. There are days, when there is no desire to leave the house with anybody to see and communicate when madly for some reason it is a pity for itself and there are a wish to cry. As you already guessed, it is about a prenatal depression which if to trust psychological science, is the normal phenomenon during expectation of the kid.
women who will tell that they did not test anything similar Will be. On my experience with pregnant women, it really happens, and is frequent. Most often the woman experiences only positive, joyful emotions during pregnancy if the birth of the child is supervalue in her life. For example, when pregnancy was preceded by long infertility and already there was almost no hope left to become mother when the birth of the kid can fasten the relations with the beloved when in life of the woman there was a loss of the loved one when it lost meaning of life. In all these cases as you understand, the child is not absolutely just a child. Its emergence in life of the woman carries out an important role. As such situation influences the identity of the kid - a subject of separate conversation, and here the fact that such women to a lesser extent test a prenatal depression - it is precisely!When the child is born
So, to - and the postnatal depression is not the different mental phenomena, but one, the caused need “to digest“ complex changes in life. Also it turns out that those women who started such “digestion“ even during pregnancy to a lesser extent risk to face a heavy, prolonged postnatal depression, than those which lived all nine months in a condition of entire happiness and faced understanding of global changes only after the child`s birth.
All our life is sated with experience of death if to consider death as full refusal of the person of any qualities with the purpose to meet itself “new“. So, to the child to become the young man or the girl, it is necessary to bury in itself something children`s not to remain for a long time in an infantile state. And at more adult age, at a maturity boundary, the person should refuse lines of youth that not about it it was told that “a small doggie till an old age a puppy“. In turn, each pregnant woman and the woman who is giving birth to the child faces that her habitual life falls, and it is necessary in this life to refuse much forever.by
as a result of the processes happening in mentality of future mother within nine months paves the way for change of internal representation. If processes proceeded normally, and childbirth was natural, with the minimum quantity of interventions, then while the woman for the first time sees, takes on hands and inhales a smell of the child, in her, as if by magic, there is a metamorphosis - she feels like the newborn`s mother, and this feeling is followed by huge inflow of forces and pleasures. You ask: “What here special? All given rise feel the same!“ Unfortunately, many women several months of alarm, lostness, despondency or maybe even expect then despair. There are suddenly questions: “Really it is, however, my kid, and I am his mother?“ All specified moments testify to incompleteness of process of development of the woman into the new quality.
to understand how to help itself to cope with a depression, let`s understand at first as normal (at the psychological level) pregnancy has to be endured. Psychologists and doctors allocate three pregnancy periods, identical on time.
Initial, corresponding to the first trimester of pregnancy, is called the denial period at psychologists. These three months thoughts and the woman`s acts denying existence of new life are absolutely normal. Well, if to speak a simple language, there can pass the whole day, and only in the evening the woman suddenly will remember that she is pregnant. Or in the long-term working plan will put business trip where - nibud for the 38th week. Or will begin to discuss seriously with friends a backpacking, and even - downhill skiing. These first three months of pregnancy, when there is no a stomach, and stirs of the kid are not felt yet, it is considered normal if the woman from time to time does not take the new state into account.
the Next three months is time when the pregnant woman normal does not deny the state any more. In other words, its mentality accepted the fact that the child will be, but here with what it cannot agree up to the end, so it that with the birth of the kid to habitual vital way the end will come. In psychology the name of this period quite difficult. I will sound it, and then I will decipher. So, this stage is called the period of “search of replacement of the lost object“. The lost object in this case is a habitual life, life with a certain rhythm of work, rest, with the developed relations in a family and with friends. Gradually realizing that with the child`s birth it will be necessary to refuse much, the woman begins to look for lost replacement. Classical reasoning of the pregnant woman who is at this stage, the following: “Yes, it is necessary to leave work, so career development will stop. There is a horror! And colleagues will remain on the place, and I will hopelessly lag behind them! Nothing, is a high time to go to Chinese courses now! The relations with China are very perspective, the kid will grow up, I will go to work in the new direction already with good knowledge of language!“ Thus, the second trimester becomes the most active. And it is valid, the woman, as a rule, well feels, nausea already passed, and the stomach does not disturb yet. And where future mothers only do not go to this period! As they explain: “That time not to lose in vain“. Happens, and it is not rare that business reaches even driving lessons. “And why would be not present? The kid will be born, mobility will be necessary, and I still have no rights!“However also this period comes to an end with
. It is followed by the last, coinciding with the third trimester of pregnancy which, unlike previous, in psychology is called simply - the depression period. That is there comes that prenatal depression. In mentality there is a full understanding of the incident, and process of farewell to the past begins: “What Chinese?! What career?! Perhaps, I any more will never be able to work as before, and I will be eternally attached to pots and pans!“ In three months which remained before childbirth from time to time (of course, not 24 hours a day) the woman faces feeling of loneliness, hopelessness and despondency. Sometimes it develops in floods of tears, sometimes into irritation, offense and rage. It is possible to take offense and be angry with the husband whose life does not change so sharply, and he, of course, “does not understand anything and supports a little“. On the mother-in-law who climbs with the councils and foolish purchases for the kid eternally. On girlfriends to whom neither your stomach, nor the child are interesting at all, they are concerned only by rags, men and work. Yes you never know can upset the pregnant woman. All this is normal, it is not necessary to be afraid of own experiences. You are respectful to the state and, the most important, do not try to avoid it.Here we, actually, also approach
the main practical conclusion. Pregnancy is not continuous pleasure of expectation of nine months. This time when are pertinent, especially in the last three months, not really pleasant feelings and emotions. It is not necessary to test fault and furthermore shame if in the first trimester, happened, forgot about the kid, and sometimes in general thought of what is good if pregnancy came not now, and in other time.
I one more very important point. You leave in a maternity leave in time. The matter is that the working rhythm helps mentality of the woman to linger on the first or at the second stage and not to test thus a depression. Remaining in a habitual working situation, the woman protects herself from a serious collision with understanding of abrupt changes. But you will not escape from the truth, time will come, the kid will be born, and it all the same should understand that former life came to an end forever, only this process will be already called not to - and a postnatal depression, and will proceed heavier and longer.