Rus Articles Journal

How to force darling to marry “I love

when the husband nearby... Nearby, I told!.“
the Joke

Many ladies tired of uncertainty of the relations with the partner and the wishing these relations as can be legalized rather, quite often ask such question: how to force the man to marry. Not to persuade, not to convince, not to ask, eventually, namely to force. And again it is necessary to explain that the person who created with you the matrimonial union under pressure will hardly be the reliable and faithful companion of life. Moreover, one of the frequent reasons of man`s alcoholism - that thus the man tries to run away from the putting pressure spouse. Because having only got drunk, can feel “in the house as the owner“.

In general - and it is truism long ago - no family life most often will exist if you someone forced to register together with you marriage, and thus hung up to the person on a neck duties not necessary to it which it was not ready to execute. He will also shirk these duties by all available means.

But alas, similar arguments very often have no effect: some women are literally convinced that “the main thing to marry, and there we will look“. Like, where it will get to then, married?.

such behavior can seem to

Much infantile, but, actually, the genre of a bad advice also is thought up for children with so-called protest behavior. And for those brides who nevertheless considers as the best way of creation of a family the frank pressure upon future husband in the people there are three distributed recommendations. Let`s discuss these ways in more detail: ladies imagined what results can achieve as a result and as far as they will coincide with the desirable.

Besides, for certain for such not absolutely logical behavior the woman has reasons. And it is not her fault, but its trouble, - in which too, probably, it is necessary at least as a first approximation to help to understand.

Way first. Pressure of relatives and the public

Before speaking about possible negative consequences of such method, it is necessary to think of other question: and who whom, actually, in this case manipulates. It is considered to be that the woman puts pressure upon the man from the point of view of “as it is not a shame to you, you are with me so much time, and all you do not marry“, involving in this pressure of relatives or actual society. But if to reflect - that first of all the actual society itself for certain puts pressure upon “the potential bride“. Because “as it is not a shame to it“: it with this man is so much time, and he everything does not marry! Does not want? As it does not want!.

from outside it sometimes looks ridiculously and fondly: at least because in the modern world and in modern morals even the longest it is intimate - the economic relations do not oblige participants of these relations to conclude official marriage by all means. This decision only both of them, and in principle problems begin when only between them in this respect there are disagreements. But the trouble is that at the people who are drawn still towards the megafamily relations, the opinion of “family“ in this question is felt as quite powerful, and pressure about it - as is notable problem. Some in principle cannot tell relatives “Forgive, but our marriage is only our business“: stirs a piety before relatives, the hierarchical concepts accepted in a family, and also the banal fact of the fact that quite often relatives support young couple financially. Anyway, but the fact is the fact: in certain cases there is pressure of the senior relatives upon the woman, and she in turn seeks to pressure the man that most to avoid megafamily pressure on “Why You Are Still Not Married“.

And if the woman initially grew up in such directive environment and got used to it, - she sometimes does not consider it as something special and outstanding. And the related pressure in itself not necessarily occurs by the principle “as the father told - and will be!“ It can be done also from a position weak, and manipulating the health, and still many different ways. So quite often it is extremely difficult to resist to such camouflaged pressure, especially if at once not to understand that specifically occurs. But the girl who grew up with feeling “in our family it is so accepted“, sometimes even without special evil intention “the parental scenario“ just adopts this or that and begins to influence future husband also. Which, without being accustomed to such mode of communication, unconsciously from the partner distantsionirutsya more and more, and in any case, does not hurry to marry.

Of course, situations happen different and if it is admissible, pressure strong, and the man - a psikhastenik, then it can concede. But then will try to escape from - under this of pressure at the first opportunity. And for example, the epileptoidny man will accept first your rules of the game, but itself in this megafamily will fight for the place in hierarchy and as a result - for the power, and already own methods to which your environment, so to say, has no social immunity.

In any case, using method of any pressure, it is desirable not to forget that any action is equal to counteraction. And already taking into account it to solve: to take certain actions or not.

Way second. Pregnancy

This way is applied by

quite often and, as a rule, with success recently. Scales of it of “social disaster“ can be estimated, having at least gathered in any the Internet - the searcher the phrase like “how to become pregnant deception“. Certainly, more often for such deception there are already lawful wives whose husbands for any of several reasons do not want children, and the spouse is obsessed with desire to become mother: on the “And where It Will Get to Now, Married?“ system stated above But similar ways are used also in order that to push the man to official marriage. Like, so far lived together - I did not object, and now, darling, us will be three, and the child needs the father, it is desirable the official spouse of his mother! Sometimes it is by default supposed that the child needs also a surname of the father, and it is unconditional, material contents. Here, by the way, sometimes even marriage is not necessary: only the solid alimony is necessary.

It is unconditional, it would be possible to tell that the man if does not want to get into such situation, is obliged to care for contraceptive measures: but, as it is already widely known, sometimes even the condom does not rescue from pregnancy of the partner: for this reason even more often men and condoms get, and store them in the reliable place like the wallet, and, I`m sorry, after use tie in sea knot and personally send to the sewerage. That darling incidentally did not steal biological material and did not use for designated purpose. Precedents are known, and there is a lot of them. Of course, in this case, the famous phrase rather ridiculously sounds that “The child did together, and responsibility for two“: but alas, at the moment the man has no ways to leave from the imposed responsibility if genetic examination shows his paternity. And by the only reliable way of man`s contraception it is necessary - to choose carefully the partner for love joys.

It is other question why the woman captured by desire to become mother by all means wants to make the child`s father a certain man who for the personal reasons of paternity is not eager. There is a lot of reasons: both level of security of the man, and pressure mentioned above to which the woman got used and notorious “And here he is pleasant to me, and all“... Here allow to remember one more ordinary opinion that “those who do not want children - are infantile“. At the mentioned deal rather the girl who rested in “Looks infantile and I only this man want, and to me it is unimportant that he does not want“, and as the implementer “I want“ there is on some female a forum with a question like “How imperceptibly to puncture a condom“.

the Problem that it is possible to pressurize before marriage by pregnancy that man who has own moral principles. But if you begin the official relations with it with deception, then in its morals, let first unconsciously, the following item settles down: his wife quietly treats deception and allows it in the family relations. Where a guarantee that he will not begin to deceive you then?.

What can be offered as safer alternative? Probably, only to suggest the lady to reflect why the specific man himself does not want to establish with her a family and to have children. It is several reasons for that and if you want, further actions very strongly depend on these reasons.

Perhaps, he still at heart the child, and just did not ripen to be a husband and the father? As they say, to each vegetable the time and if you everything - drag off its in the REGISTRY OFFICE - well, it will play with you a family, and then over time it will be carried away by other toys.

Or on the contrary, he is a mature person and understands all measure of responsibility which lays down on his shoulders at registration of marriage and paternity: but at the same time it has in life just other plans. Perhaps, he intends to do career, to form the circle of contacts, to solve some other problems and to achieve other objectives, - and marriage and children do not enter a circle of its values: can be, so far, but nevertheless. Then, perhaps, it will be safer not to impose it your purposes and tasks: because creation of a family is the right, but not a duty of any capable person as it is considered to be. And the happy family is established not in the line of duty, and at mutual desire, and children happy are raised too. But it is, actually, too for a long time truism.

I still option - he in principle is ready to marry and be a father, but... not with you. You do not suit it with something as the official wife and mother of his children. It is ready to be with you in social and intimate relations, but - it is no more. In this case you can use it in the same quality, and for realization of your purposes - to look for other man. With what at you actual aspirations concerning creation of a family and children will coincide.

Way third. Purchase, the contract

the Best option of such union - the frank transaction. At least, if everything occurs frankly - that is not present any vain expectations and the subsequent frustrations, all as between ordinary business people: you to me marriage and the status of the married woman - I to you... (further the list of what you offer in exchange from material or some other tangible values follows). At the same time desires and the purposes of both parties have to be voiced most accurately and in detail. That specifically you buy: just a stamp in the passport, the worker on the house, the constant sexual partner, and so on?.

begin

of the Problem here in case you keep one purposes in consciousness, and in unconscious at you others. Let`s tell, you ask the man to register only with you marriage, and at heart wait that he after the conclusion, for example, will fall in love with you. Or will feel obliged to support you. Or still something like that.

to

Therefore the more precisely also in more detail prescribed conditions of similar “purchase and sale“, the it is less then than disagreements. It is important that you realized: you receive only what is specified in the contract, and anything else. It is therefore logical not to feed vain hopes at once.

A if you try to make the similar transaction on the old principle “In the market two fools, one sells, another buys“ - that frustrations are inevitable, alas. Just because both try to deceive anyway each other. And plus to that is if you in any commercial transaction can divorce the contractor on the corners and count losses, then marriage let is formal, but obliges you and further to be together until you decide to terminate your transaction with these or those material and moral losses.

***

Actually if to generalize, then, probably, all councils - to some extent harmful. Because do not consider specifically your situation and specifics of your problems in the relations with this or that man. And also with your actual society.

I if instead of the questions “how to force someone to marry you“ - just to reflect at last and what you in this life would like? And with whom? And the most important - what you forces someone to force to live with you?.

Perhaps, similar occurs for the reason that you meanwhile live not the, and others life. That which is imposed to you by your relatives, other significant people or the same mass media. And your own problems lie much more deeply, and they need to be revealed, designated and solved. That they did not disturb you. Yes, most often “to look in itself“ independently - the it is more something to reconstruct in own unconscious - difficult and it is even terrible, and in this question the help of the expert is required. In particular, in my office by means of the same system analysis “the person - Wednesday“ quite often it is necessary to sort and analyze questions of “personal happiness“ and methods of its achievement regardless of public stereotypes.

I such recognition of and the requirements - only the first stage of process. And you will be farther to build own life so that you any more need to force and force to anything nobody: because you if you consider it necessary, will find to yourself the man together with whom you will establish a family already to mutual pleasure!.