Rus Articles Journal

How to fight against gamblings?

Subject this very difficult, first of all because sad and hopeless. The game addiction (ludomaniya) is practically not treated, and opportunities “to sit down on game“ - weight. As direct and obvious harm, it that the person was impressed and threw, game does not put, to inform the victim that it is already connected to a tubule on which criminal structures fleece from it, quite difficult.

I Tell to

“criminal structures“ because I adhere to a bible view of any gamblings: this unambiguous evil, connivance to “a dark side of force“, including in the soul. How it was beautiful, cozy and safe in gambling institutions of any level, it is necessary to realize accurately: the person who came to play for money can just take out them from a pocket and give to the security guard on an entrance. Because purpose of its visit such: to lose all money, and voluntarily and with songs.

Exists very small percent of people who are able to take the first prize, to be developed and is proud to leave not to come back any more. I personally know only one it: my close friend, having got abroad into extremely difficulties (it was robbed), came into the first casino, won the decent sum and left, without waiting until carries still. But he is a seaman, the captain, it has an iron will.

For all other people the situation usually develops according to other scenario.

Came - gasped - sat down by the automatic machine or a game table - put a glass with champagne in a hand. For the first calling won so many that eyes on a forehead got. That it is a bait, a bait, - does not guess. Blackout. Following shot: the client leaves an institution with an empty purse and firm intention to return tomorrow and to repeat the initial success. Everything, it got.

Therefore I stand up only for total, vigilant control and education. Do not miss any opportunity to express the relation to gamblings: you go by a casino - tell: “Only the full idiot can come here!“ - “Why?“ - “Because only the idiot gives the terribly earned money to foreign unfamiliar uncles“. If the child is more senior than 10 years, he, probably, already heard magic stories about how one boy came, threw five rubles in the automatic machine, and the automatic machine gave it five million. The main thing - to inform the child of your message: any game on money - an essence fraud. As they say, “from two arguing one fool, and the second - the rascal“. Relieve your child of any illusions concerning game.

When my neighbors took

the nurse, the most bribing line in it was tranquility. The absolute, unperturbable, pacified tranquility. It was the woman at whom everything was good, and it “well“ flew from her face as light water. It infected with the total wellbeing the hyperactive son of neighbors, Vladik became simple be not to recognized: at the nurse in hands he began to sleep, forgot to go into hysterics, his mother breathed sigh of relief.

too everything was quiet

At the nurse in a family: two sons - the teenager which studied well and did not bring excess trouble, teetotal (expressly three times!), hard-working beloved husband. I with pleasure rolled a carriage together with Nadezhda, we slowly talked, and I caught myself that at her presence I come off a jog trot habitual to me on smooth procession from the series “there are women in the Russian settlements“ too, that part of a verse where “... with gait and a look of queens“.

I suddenly everything broke. Nadia began to be nervous, cry, was employed in other family for the weekend that automatically meant other degree of fatigue.

“What happened to

?“ - I asked at the first opportunity. It turns out, Nadine the husband, gold - sugar Lenya, began to play. Not in a casino, of course, there drivers of trucks are not let, and in small game clubs which it is poked in each dormitory area. For the first time it was dragged by friends, “only to try“, he at once won the sum equal to a two-month salary. And now it carries all salary there and besides - nazanimat at all friends, and Nadezhda gives now.

you were already told how there is a dependence?

Basic rule: to the person allow to win the considerable sum in the first calling. He tests an enormous high, comparable with narcotic “arrival“, euphoria, feeling of instant and sharp happiness. As (most likely) this person has no other sources of peak experiences, this way of receiving pleasure quickly becomes the basic and the only thing. Further the compulsive gambler is ready to go to any victims if only again and again to feel this incomparable feeling of a victory and flight.

But a casino and slot machine halls are constructed at all not in order that any there suckers were enriched. Other people will begin to be enriched absolutely, and trustful suckers will remain in one pants to reach the house, to shake out the next portion of money from relatives and again to carry it to the hall.

Yes, in a casino of children is not started up. And how about gaming machines?

Ya I will tell you one very sad story, sad and tragicly ended. I feel very sorry for parents of that guy, and even consciousness that they did everything possible that everything happened as it happened, does not console.

He was a charming blue-eyed blond boy, with a charming smile. Poskrebyshev the late child at the elderly parents who lost the eldest son. It was allowed all. What he got up, parents the mountain rose in its defense. Even when the kid on their eyes smashed furniture on a visit, deceived, dragged money from pockets - they smiled and patted him on a back. Once it cleaned the immediate family, shook out a moneybox, so mother secretly returned stolen, and incident was exhausted.

Since the birth of Arkash was shown by the explosive temperament: if he did not receive immediately desirable subject, it lifted such howl that the cat fell from a case.

From all skirmishes with elder brothers (cousin with which spent summer at the dacha) he came out the winner: they just were afraid of it, a fight at it was refused by brakes and it beat to death. If boys arranged any prank and caught them on they are punished all, except it. In all games by the winner there had to be only Arkasha, otherwise he in rage could carry everything around.

In the eighth class it began to play cards, quickly hammered together cartel, in due form this business: with knocking-out of debts, gang of bodyguards, statement “on the counter“. The cartel was revealed through half a year, all organizers together with parents were called on teachers` meeting, expelled from Komsomol, registered in a nursery of militia. Parents of all others were the shocked, one guy the father flogged directly in a school corridor. But not Arkashina.“ Stipulated, - they firmly declared. - Our son is not a criminal, he could not make it“.

Interests of the grown-up Arkady turned around game all the time, once he was strongly crippled by competitors, but he did not stop playing.

That happened in 17 - y day of its birth, authentically did not learn. Whether it dropped out of a window, whether it was thrown out.

what it is necessary to pay attention to:

What can be done?

already wrote

Ya about how computer dependence at children is formed and “treated“. I provide this article almost entirely, adding that the mechanism of impact on any dependent behavior is identical. At first - a detoxication (in a case with gamblings - removal of a former circle of contacts), then the help in accommodation of abstinency (we hold, we support, we console, we give soothing) and formation of new, healthy behavior models and life.

For the first time article is published by

on the Children of Moscow portal.

How to treat the compulsive gambler (computer)

Having read to

the list of signs of chemical dependence recently, I was struck as far as they coincide with manifestations of computer dependence at teenagers. Except the expanded / narrowed pupils, all other manifestations it is available: exception of other interests, inability of to borrow with something another, all life it is subordinated to game (“dose“ - a high - expectation of the next portion), children begin to study worse, can lose the flesh as they forget to eat, steal money for new games or for visit of computer club. Unfortunately, parents seldom realize all weight of current situation, say that “all from laziness, it is simple to study does not want“, try to change a situation dushespasitelny talk. While it is necessary to recognize honestly: a game addiction (computer) - the same form of dependence, as any other.

Against “unsuccessful“ children “computer maniacs“ look just angels: down the street do not gad, in the house it is silent and pure, at any time parents know where they can be found. What`s the problem? And here in what. Gradually game forces out all other occupations, at first the child ceases to walk, all contacts “in real“ are nullified then, there are chats, network games, a ringing for joint passing of levels. About study and there is nothing to speak: I come into 10 - y a class during a lesson, the teacher broadcasts practically in a complete silence. Only the strange rustle is heard, and boys somehow not on a subject scream. Portable video game consoles at every second under a school desk. What physics, the Lord with you!

is Told by mother 12 - summer “is computer - dependent“ the boy:“ He lives from game before game. We rigidly limited game time one hour in day and for “two“ we deprive of the computer too. So he literally about walls fights, than cannot be engaged in another, at first waits when it is possible to play, then toils that quicker time passed and it was possible to sit down back. Friends to it came to birthday - so they quickly swept away an entertainment - and to the computer. One plays, the others are ill. I already hate this computer, is ready to throw out“.

If younger - average school students just do nothing to the detriment of physical activity, then with teenagers and young men absolutely trouble: at them the motivation to any other activity vanishes, except it is computer - game, including communication with an opposite sex, sex, receipt in institute and work. Here parents also begin to sound alarm: the army shines, and loved chadushko instead of preparing for receipt, wets orks round the clock. Boys do not react to leaving of girls any more, can just not notice that the girlfriend does not call two weeks and does not come. The young man of 18 years said to me that behind game time flies so imperceptibly that it is possible to sit down on a half-hour, and to rise the next days. Similar to what is told by visitors of a casino, isn`t that so?

As dependence arises?

It is considered h2 that there are people tolerant and resistant to dependence, that is - steady and giving in. Boys sit down on any “drug“ much quicker, than girls, partly because for girls social communication is much more important, more necessary and it is more interesting, Than any game. Formation of dependence happens rather, than the child is younger. Roughly speaking, the kid who in one and a half years was put to the TV to look at “Teletubbies“ (that mother could take rest at least a half-hour), more likely will become the “dependent“ compulsive gambler, than what had no TV till three years, and to a computer it did not admit at least years to ten. Well, in our realities it is rather from area of a fantasy.

In game the child (and the adult) has a magic opportunity to feel the successful, invincible superhero, canalizes aggression, embodies the dreams. And all this takes away the mental energy necessary for growth, formation of social skills, for adaptation to real life, realization of the desires in the real world. One of the main reasons for the address of a family of the compulsive gambler to the psychologist:“ He wants nothing“. Desires arise from interaction with the world, and in game the reality which can be configured is offered to the child, that is to adjust under itself. Yes, as the way to cope with a daily stress, probably, it works. But how a way to live the only life? And that reset will not be nobody thinks.

what to pay attention to

What is the time the child carries out behind game? One or one and a half hours a day or four - five? What does it do when does not play? Whether it is capable to stop if time came somewhere to go, eat, sleep, do homework? Does it have friends? Whether it walks at least one hour every day? Whether plays something, except the computer? What gifts asks - new “a browser - a shooter game“ or something else?

If you answered

the most part of questions “yes“, you have nothing to worry. Game is only one of ways to spend time for your child. He will play and will be engaged in something in another. But if computer games gradually force out all other kinds of activity - then things look bad, it is necessary to deal with this problem.

on the other hand, children very good, convenient, obedient are. They study well, help about the house, and spend all rest of the time at the screen: earlier - at the TV screen, now - at the computer. Mothers worry, but is somehow vague, nevertheless as it should be.

it is hard to say Now whether everything as it should be will be then, at us “the generation of compulsive gamblers“ did not grow up yet. But the western researches show that at the children spending the most part of free time at the computer social skills are worse created, they experience difficulties in the choice of the sexual partner and their family life is carried out hardly too. The reason all in the same: ability to distinguish nonverbal signals is not acquired, “the hidden messages“ are not read out, are not able to agree. Everything that it is more difficult than the elementary logical tasks (and all human life is slightly more difficult), causes confusion.

to you can seem to

that I intimidate, but the fact remains: most of modern young people from 14 to 22 years will prefer to spend evening behind game, than to be engaged in tiresome courting or walk with friends. As result - the “Girls against Network Games“ organization appeared.

How to help

I will tell

At once: it will be difficult. Any disaccustoming is followed by “withdrawal pains“, often quite painful. And disaccustoming from computer dependence - not an exception. For a start you should sustain at least several attacks from the child which are followed by reproaches in human rights violation, child abuse, promises and arrangements (“Well I study well, I do everything why I have no right to live as I want?!!“ ). You have, darling, you have, only I want that you could be engaged further in what you will want, but did not clean a parade-ground a toothbrush. Also worked at warm office, but did not drive on the city the courier during snow and a rain.

Me it seems to

that dependence - not that case where it is possible to show tolerance and a toleraytnost. About the right of the nations one self-determination better to forget (for a while). I (parent) bear responsibility for life and wellbeing of this child and I am not able to allow it to ruin dullly myself only because so easier, more simply and the cheapest way.

to you should undertake

for some time of function of the inventor and a razvlekatel, to become the animator in the most literal sense of this word: to anew inhale soul in the one who almost completely moved to the virtual world. To move it on different circles, to choose what will really carry away, to watch that went and did not pass. Not to give in on attempts to manipulate (“I am so hurt by the head, it is possible I I will sit at home?“ - faithfully and iskatelno looking in eyes). To read and talk to it in the evenings when the melancholy leans and especially there is a wish to steep to the virtual world. Postoyanbut to explain to him what happens to it, to remind that it will be easier further. In general to treat the events as though you on hands have a “sewn-up“ alcoholic, forgive for the jarring-on comparison, but this is true.

At first it will be very heavy, almost intolerable. You most likely ten times will regret that you in general started this business. But then it will become easier, the child will be involved in the new schedule of life, it will have friends and occupations, he at last will agree to go to camp or to go hiking - and earlier it was even impossible to give a hint at it because there will be no computer.

It is possible, in a month of absolutely beskompyyuterny mode you agree to include it on some conditions again. In our family, for example, it is arranged so: one hour a day, the passed time is not compensated, on vacation - an hour and a half, for the two the computer is closed for a week. The applet “The strict father“ helped to carry out this contract technically to us. Is on sale on the Internet, costs 5 - 6 dollars. It lets the person in system only for a certain time and itself closes a computer. To argue with it it is useless, she does not understand words, only the system administrator can bear it. The son pobesitsya - pobesitsya and got used. Itself watches not to pass time, learned to plan the affairs, however, tries to hide “couples“ - well so all are ill it.

of Success to you, I hope, at you it will turn out to tear off the child from the computer and to turn facing real life. Any dependence it is easier for p to prevent

, than then to treat. The special attention should be paid to those children who since the early childhood show choleric temperament: excitable, supermotivated on a victory, not recognizing borders and rules. If you found out that the child began to gamble - take measures immediately, it will not pass.