you Remember the well-known story about from what age it is necessary to bring up the kid? Correctly, from the moment of conception! Fully this well-known statement belongs also to very delicate subject which I would like to mention in this article. It is about so-called sexual education of kids.
the Child lives in a family where both parents - the father and mother - personify two parties of sexuality - man`s and female, and the child, being a family member, cannot be excluded from a context of the general family sexuality. Moreover, and the child at certain stages of development is interested in himself and including distinctions in the device of genitals of boys and girls, in appearance of mother and father etc. Many questions on so delicate subjects nonplus not only parents, but also serious psychologists. The purpose of these notes is extremely simple - to offer the simple practical advice helping to avoid the evil of both bans, and permissiveness.
Mother, the father, I - really a family
Quite often after the child`s birth from family use disappear the embraces, kisses, friendly and love words and gestures demonstrating that the father and mother really love each other. Put yourself to the place of the child - as parents express degree of feeling to the kid to the most clear and image available to it? Correctly, embraces, kisses, mutual caress. Nobody challenges importance of physical contact with the kid, need of parental caress any more for formation of the full-fledged man or the woman, but why nobody says that models of future sexual behavior are put in the childhood at the sight of happy, desired for each other, physically harmonious parents involving in an orbit of the healthy relations of the children born by them?
do not forget to love each other and do not hesitate of manifestations of feelings at the child - on whose example how not parental, it is the best of all to comprehend art of love? The main thing - that it was sincere, otherwise nothing will turn out.
the Right of parents for private life
With the child`s birth parents do not lose the right on personal at all, including, sexual life. While the child still small, an exit is simple - love each other without restrictions, and zanavesochka and buffers on a crib will help to provide full confidentiality.
When the child grew up already enough, learned to stand in a bed and to protest against restriction of freedom, parents should remember rough youth and to choose “other time and other place“ that can sweeten family routine. If the kid sleeps in other room, but got used to come to a parental bedroom for the help, there is a sense:
- to accustom to knock before entering - more senior child and, certainly, not in a critical situation; to deliver to
- on a door of a parental bedroom the lock.
Kisses, and embraces between parents seem to the kid natural signs of attention of the father and mother to each other and to it personally. The small child who got used to similar style of communication will not turn out shocked, is even casual, through an oversight, outposts of parents behind more intimate caress. It is natural that in case of the senior children moreover besides “educated“ by the street, kindergarten or school in questions of “sex“, similar carelessness is fraught with serious psychological consequences.
Very simple - everything that is natural, not ugly, and you should not pretend that parents have no other relations, except purchase of products and education of their joint child.
the Type of a beautiful and well-groomed human body - the phenomenon of an esthetic order, and not pornographic as many adherents of morality are inclined to think. Another thing is that for work of really esthetic impression parents have to watch themselves. If the father and mother go in for physical culture or sport, healthy food, improvement and a hardening, and at the same time are convinced that the type of a naked body can be esthetic, then they do not have need bashfully to be covered in fear that the child will see a piece of a naked body. It does not make sense to the kid who grew up in a similar family to spy later in a female bath or in a locker room, to take from parents secretly erotic videotapes - for it the naked body is not a forbidden fruit.Should tell
about other extreme - when whether parents to please to fashion, to commerce or own views begin to force events: since small years to bring to pose for erotic photos, to impose stay in society of nudists, to shame concerning excessive shyness and so forth. Here, as well as everywhere, the violence is absolutely inadmissible and can lead to the most adverse psychological and functional frustration.
Recommendation: you Want
that in your family appreciated beauty of a naked body (including in works of great masters of painting and a sculpture), - be engaged in own way of life and appearance, then to the kid of whom will follow a positive example.
Sex on the screen
the Love and sexual scenes on the screen of cinema and the TV which are present often at the movies and transfers which are not marked by restrictions, shown in the most “children`s“ time, on a visit and so forth - how to arrive in similar cases. As well as everywhere, it is necessary to remain wise sensitive adults, namely: not to panic, with exclamations of horror switching the program, not to close to the child an eye, not to savor this history with relatives, and to explain to the kid at the available level what occurs. The main thing - a love scene not in itself, and how parents, adults will react to it. Especially it is important in the school and teenage period of formation of sexuality of the child about what it is perfectly written in extensive literature in this delicate subject.
is excessive and to be said that it is necessary to avoid obvious violence scenes, whether it be murder or coercion to sexual proximity, dead human bodies or the killed animals.
what in the TV - sex, is clear only to you, but not to the kid, debauchery, as we know, occurs not on the screen, and in the head. Therefore you should not put the blame on someone else. And still: the switched-off TV looks not worse included at all, especially if in front of the screen - the kid.
how it is heavy to look for a black cat in the dark room also because it can quite not be there. Do not look for problems with sexual development and education of the child where they are absent, do not interpret behavior of the child from positions of the adult who is sexually initiated the person, you do not raise own hands forbidden fruits, and you will be pleasantly surprised how this notorious sexual education comes to you easily. It is possible that the black cat escaped on the street long ago.