What can be made with a hysterics of
the Beautiful young woman walked with the charming kid of one and a half years. Something happened, and the child began to sob. Mother`s attempts to calm him did not lead to success. The boy began to be curved in her hands and to shout even more loudly.
Mother did not sustain
, and her metal voice was heard: “Get out from here, loony unfortunate! Do not approach me! You are not able to behave! Went! I to whom told!!“ To grief of the child there was no limit. It began to sob even stronger, began to coil, fell to the ground. The woman began to pull it a hand, trying to lift from the earth and to bring round, continuing to release impartial remarks to the child. But nothing turned out, the kid did not calm down. Only narydavshis and after mother took it on hands, he calmed down. The word of honor, is absolutely real history...
of the Hysteric happens absolutely at all children. But at one she is time in life, and at others - several times a day. The hysterics is a condition of a rough exit of uncontrollable emotions. The nature not for nothing gave to the child this chance to let off steam of the collected experiences which he is not able to realize and acquire yet.
Happens so that the kid is seriously ill and he should suffer much physically. Its nervous system works at a limit that will cope with this test. The same occurs if in a family there is any heavy event, for example, divorce or the long conflicts between family members. Or other event in which the child cannot realize the reason and consequences, but he feels them, maybe, even more deeply, than other adult.to
About sensitivity of children till three years wrote much. And the nervous system at each child, as well as any person, has the limits. But why whistle of the boiling teapot is not surprising, and the hysterics happening to the kid always for parents is unexpected?
In eight cases from ten hysterics happen to children when they are tired or feel bad. Many mothers know about what they signal whims and peevishness of the kid. But there are children whom are not capable of whims, they begin to shout, stamp legs, to rush on the earth, to kick, fight, be kicked, to fight about a wall... They are not able to perceive at this time at all what is told by mother. So in a hysterics the fatigue and exhaustion proves. The only thing that mother can make here, it as soon as possible to put the kid to bed. Having given vent to tension, the child will fall asleep sooner or later.
But hysterics which reason the fatigue is not happen. The child can choose such inadequate form of expression when he cannot express something. He is not able to inform of it adults that he something wants, needs something. As parents begin to run and do everything to calm down the child, the behavior stereotype appears: slightly that not so - a hysterics.
In a family needs to develop some rules which will help to minimize consequences of children`s hysterics. They will not give to a hysterics as way to try to obtain the desirable, to be fixed strongly in reactions of the child. The most important rule sounds so: “When the child writhes in hysterics, mother is quiet as the tank!“ . Mother can be indignant, break, cry, but only when her child is in a quiet state. Some consider that ideal mother is always quiet, patient, full of wisdom and understanding. But ideal mother is the unattainable image and a stereotype imposed to women by society. Such beings in the nature do not exist!
All people without exception experience negative emotions. Including in relation to own child. It is normal! And if mother grants to herself on it the right, then she will be able to control them and not to depend on circumstances. The hysterics of the child creates such tension in the relations which is extremely difficult for sustaining. Therefore mother who is not recognizing in herself the right for negative emotions, as a rule, once follows the tastes of the child`s hysterics, without maintaining this tension and falling into an own hysterics. And what can be more sad than a show of the sobbing kid and mother shouting not by the voice?
This basic provision which mother at whom the child is inclined to hysterics has to realize and adopt. Mother swears and indignant only when her child is quiet. During a hysterics of the kid mother observes neutral mood. At the same time her face should not show discontent and irritation but only love and understanding. To her kid it is bad now.
the Most interesting that the child will be able to learn not to react to the flashes of discontent happening at mother also after a while. He as if begins to understand that sometimes his mother is indignant and even shouts. Nothing terrible, it should just be waited. Both mother, and the child give themselves and each other the right for negative emotions. Only such policy can overcome tendency of the child to hysterics.
Remarkable additional effect of that, as the child, and mother allow to show each other negative emotions, lack of sense of guilt is. There are unnecessary apologies that mother raised the voice for some offense. She has the right to it. And the child is put in the same situation when he cannot undertake a role of offended any more.can Often meet by
council to leave the room if the kid during the periods of age crises begins to behave inadequately, cries trying to obtain the desirable. This method is good if it suits the child if it really calms him, excludes a reason for manipulations. But it does not suit some children. Such child remains one in the room, loses orientation and ceases to understand what everything began with. From it his behavior becomes even more furious.In this case cannot leave to
the child one. But it will be better if all family members leave mother with the child of one and will close a door. Mother will take the kid writhing in hysterics on hands and will closely press to herself. She will tell herself:“ I will wait this state, I yet nothing will not speak and think! I wait when the child calms down“.
Mother does not shout:“ Stop! Become silent! Cool it!“ Her child in this state does not hear anything. He is simply not able to hear. It all in the power of the hurricane storming in it. He can only feel irritation of beloved mother and her rejection of this state. The child can sincerely try to please it, without accepting the state too. But it is a deadlock way.“All reasons of a hysterics become clear by
only when emotions cease“. This second rule. Any examinations that happened where the toy why mother does not buy candy got to while the child writhes in hysterics. And, naturally, any actions. Mother does not look for a toy, does not buy candy until the kid does not calm down. She takes it on hands, irons on the head, wipes tears (can, and the too) and waits when the child exhausts.after that works with
A on circumstances. Will consider that it is necessary to buy candy, - buys, will not consider that it is not necessary, - does not buy. It is only necessary to reason the actions with a quiet voice, placing emphasis on senselessness of a hysterics, but accepting it in general. For example, so: “Here you shouted, and I and so bought you this candy. Would explain that you very much - very much want it. I did not understand“. Or:“ It is possible to shout as much as necessary, but money in a purse will not increase. It is necessary to pay for candies. And what was sense in shouts if I at all the desire all the same cannot buy you it“.
several ways capable “to bring down“ the child from his spirit on a hysterics Are. They affect not always and not all children. And only at an initial stage. But it is possible to try. They are given to stimulate parental creativity on management of a children`s hysterics.
“Buski - bubusk“. He demands some preparation. The code word, for example “busk - bubusk“ is chosen. In playful, good mood mother has fun with the child, running behind it or playing at hide-and-seek. At the same time mother repeats:“ Buski - bubusk, busk - bubusk “. It is possible to tickle at the same time for full delight of the kid for a neck or a tummy. The child laughs loudly and, maybe, even repeats the code word after mother. So play regularly and for several weeks. When mother sees that the child will fall into a hysterics soon, she says: “Buski - bubusk“. The child can be had to that condition of pleasure and game which was fixed at it and to decide not to shout.
“We cut nails for fun“. What does the child do not like to do most of all? For example, to cut legs. Seeing that the hysterics becomes ripe, mother takes nozhnichka and speaks:“ Now we will cut nails“. The child switches the attention from the state close to a hysterics, to other object unpleasant to it. If to consider that mood at it not the best, then the probability that he will not want to cut nails now, is very high. He can begin to run away or kick. Mother for fun insists, attentively observing not to press: “the hairstyle of nails“ can cause new and stronger hysterics. Mother runs for the child, and then speaks: “Well, you do not want, we will not cut nails today“. Also removes scissors far away.
Thus, reacting adequately, mother waits and does everything in order that adequacy began to be shown at her child. It is the only way! Prudence will never be shown at the kid if parents inadequately behave. It is only necessary to believe in himself and in the child.