You decided to adopt the baby of
Is well-known what the childhood on all subsequent life matters and that any child for full development needs a family, the loving and careful parents, homeliness. In some countries, for example, in Sweden of orphanages does not exist. When it occurs at us - it is unknown, but each of us can help the thrown children already now. This help can be any, it is not obligatory always material (an odezha, toys, books, walks with kids on the street, the organization of excursions, holding concerts and holidays), it is only necessary to dial telephone number of orphanage and to learn about their problems and needs.
Why adopt children?
two main reasons for this act Exist.
First is when the woman cannot give birth to own child. But there is a strong desire to become mother, to understand that such motherhood, to present the heat and caress to a tiny being, to establish a full-fledged family, to completely realize themselves according to the program put by the nature i.e. to bring up the child. And then there is a question of adoption which initiator most often is the woman. If the woman is married, and in marriage mutual understanding is observed, then the husband completely supports the wife, understands her feelings and need of appearance of the kid for a family and all subsequent cares and pleasures connected with appearance of the child, they divide together. But often happens and so that lonely women decide on adoption without man`s support, legally it is authorized. In both of these cases generally adopt babies - refuseniks from children`s homes to which one year was not executed yet. Most often kids who were adopted are presented to acquaintances as native. For this purpose women resort to different cunnings: imitate pregnancy, leave for some time “to give birth“ to other city, think out various stories about appearance of the kid on light etc. Only very narrow circle of close friends is let into secret of adoption.
Second the reason of adoption of children - desire to help the child who was deprived of a family. From all motives leading to adoption which enough (it can be both death of the own child, and flight from loneliness, and desire to be as all), this motive - the help to the child is the most rare and according to many experts the best for the subsequent development of the child. With this motive adopt children of different age from infantile to teenage, take even children with various diagnoses.
generally in our country adopt babies. When you take the child at infantile age, its delays and deviations in development are not considerable yet. If it is the child aged from the birth till 1 - 1,5 month, then about a delay development there cannot be a speech at all, and you bring up the kid as any mother having the newborn. In this case, as well as with adoption of more senior children, find out how pregnancy of biological mother proceeded as there took place childbirth what childbirth was on the account, age of biological parents and a condition of their health. This information will help you to understand behavior and an emotional condition of the kid, and also will be necessary for the children`s doctor and the psychologist if to be necessary for you their consultation. Unfortunately, happens and so that you will not be able to receive these data in communication by their absence, for example, if a baby was abandoned.
If you adopt the child till 6 months, then the deviation is most often expressed in development in absence or an ill-defined “complex of revival“. At family children “the revival complex“ is observed in the following manifestations: at the sight of mother the child fades, concentrates on her face and a voice, begins to knock legs and to touch handles, smiles, gukat or babbles, looks in the face. If at the family child all these signs are brightly expressed by 3 months, then at the baby from the house of the baby they can be absent also in 6 months. But be not upset, at the correct treatment of the kid, he will quickly catch up with the age-mates. Surround the child with attention and tenderness, constantly talk to him not only when he is awake, but also when feeding, bathing and swaddling. Caress more often and embrace the child, communicate with the child in a pose “under a breast“ when his eye is turned in your face. Be not afraid to spoil the kid, the more will be physical and emotional contact, the better. Draw its attention with the bright, brilliant toys which are at convenient distance from the kid or placed over a bed. The human face therefore buy it dolls, clowns, nested dolls and tumbler toys is very interesting to the baby. Psychologists advise to draw a kind, smiling face on a cardboard and to suspend over a bed of the kid at distance 40 - 50 cm. Develop initiative at the child, fill his life with new impressions, be sensitive and sympathetic and the result will not keep itself waiting is a happy smile of your treasure!
If you adopt the child of the second half of the year of life, then quite often it is the child with the diagnosis of ZPR - a delay of psychospeech development in a dorechevy stage. Be not frightened this diagnosis, the baby from children`s home spends almost all the time in a bed. Vital space of the kid - 2 - 3 rooms, about one year he can not know what is the street (personnel of children`s homes - small, there is a lot of work therefore on walks there is neither time, nor forces, nor carriages). From 7 months the child most is in great need in affection for a certain person, during this period the so-called lack of maternal love is most negatively shown. So the child`s nature is arranged that he needs the only person who would communicate with it and loved it, but not a little even if careful and tender faces of the tutors who are constantly changing and giving a little to it attention from - for the employment. Except strong indications of lag in physical development, such as in 6 - 8 months the kid does not sit, and in a year does not go and has shepotny babble, there are also other lines distinguishing the child from children`s home from the child growing in a family. Here it would be desirable to emphasize that the general characteristic of babies from children`s home will be provided below, and its features are not necessarily inherent in all children since the identity of any child is unique and the way of development of each kid is individual.the Kid rolls
the head on a pillow (itself rocks to sleep), hits the head against a bed wall, does the stereotypic movements by hands, sucks a finger, shakes a body from outside aside. It occurs from - for the fact that the child was limited in the movements, nobody nursed him, it was deprived of caress and heat of human hands.the Child plays
as speak to it, it almost completely has no strong-willed manifestations and initiative readiness.
the child has no division into favourite and unloved food. When it is given unloved food, he with pleasure opens a mouth, long holds food before swallowing and was as if tasteless, all the same opens a mouth and only at the end with pain cries. The fact that they well eat is characteristic of the children who are brought up since the birth in children`s home and differ in big weight. Some of them eat too much. Tutors comment on it the fact that thus they satisfy the hunger on maternal love.
If the family child in 6 months accurately distinguishes dear and foreign people, differently treats them, and in 8 - 9 months the stranger can cause negative emotions or a fright, then at the kid from establishment the impersonal relation to people around is observed. Any teacher can feed the child, take on hands, she will not encounter resistance. The child smiles to everyone though he still does not look in the face, aspires to any on hands, at the same time without showing any interest in this person and is not able to cooperate with it.
the Child differs in passivity. During an undressing, clothing of well moving kid it is possible to leave for a while on a pelenalny little table because he will not even move. If the kid can already stand or go, then he without any help and resistance can be dressed in anything, in clothes of any color and a form and also it is easy to undress.
But, despite this sad picture, the kid, getting to a family, very quickly makes up for lost time, gradually gets rid of the acquired habits, catches up with family children in the development. Sometimes so happens, is even ahead of the age-mates in something, and then its development proceeds according to age norm.
As the baby from children`s home in the second half of the year often lags behind in the development at a stage of emotional communication, at first it is necessary to communicate with it, as with younger on age. But gradually you move to a new level of communication. Play games - entertainments “Forty - the thief“, “Samoletik“, “Pat-a-cake“, “A ram - a ram“, “Goat“, “Pryg - skok“, “Ku - ku“, “Hide-and-seek“. You learn to play toys: to roll the machine, to put to bed, put a doll a nested doll and a pyramid, to build of cubes, to squeeze rubber toys, to roll a ball, to open and close ware. You do exercises and massage to the kid, not necessarily professional, it is possible also amateur, develop fingers of hands. As soon as the child appears in your house, photograph it, show it its photo album, often you bring it to a mirror. Show it pictures, read and tell fairy tales. Attach to the world of poetry, read not only children`s rhymes, but also works of classics. Sing to the kid of a song, pay special attention national and to lullabies. Together listen to music, it has to be quiet, joyful and light. Very much will like the kid of the sonata of Haydn, Mozart, Handel, Scarlatti, and also work Beethoven (especially 5 - I am the symphony), Vivaldi (a violin concert), Korelli and Marcello. Dance together with the child. You learn to be on friendly terms with other children. You praise the child more often, share with him his feelings and never compare to other children, he will quickly catch up with them in the development.
When you adopt the child at infantile age, have big advantage - you start formation of the identity of the child almost from scratch. What will be character and intelligence of the child - everything depends on your education. Do not pay bigger attention to appearance of the kid, not this main thing in the person, try to see in it bigger and main. Especially experience of adoption of babies shows that with age they become externally similar to the new parents. But at adoption of babies there is one essential minus - it is unknown what diseases and deviations in development can be shown later. Therefore himself needs to give the answer honestly: if it happens whether you will still treat the child, how to native? Whether you will hand over it back how the rejected toy, in orphanage? If you are not ready to answer these questions, then it is better not to start adoption. You should not betray the kid for the second time, especially none of us are insured from birth of the child with congenital defects.