Rus Articles Journal

Informal marriage: reefs of

in recent years the institute of marriage - and in the world in general, and in our country in particular - gradually collapses, and it is not a debatable question, and only ascertaining of the fact.

the Number of divorces not that catastrophically, but slowly and surely grows. The number of the registered marriages, on the contrary, decreases from year to year and the age at which people make out the relations, more and more increases.

you Judge

: if in a century before last the main part of marriages consisted in age till 20 years, then in the 20th century standards were displaced to to 22 - 23 years, and today “the age boundary“ rose nearly to 30 - that is while many marry “in the old manner“ at rather early age, the percent of 30 years which entered a legal marriage much later promptly increases. And it is clear: duration and quality of life steadily grow, the age of “creation of the base“ more and more stretches in time, and, as a result, social norms and realities change.

Along with all this more and more popular. The REGISTRY OFFICE is reached by already smaller number of couples, than their exists actually and that is interesting - even the child`s birth not always promotes it. It is more and more young people and not really young parents officially make out marriage, only when children go to school, and even wave on it a hand - a pier, our personal relations - they also are especially personal, and we in them are not going to implicate the state.

Partly it, of course, true. However such approach means, alas, and some reefs about which and it would be desirable to talk.

the Most numerous stones - legal.

can not be

At officially unregistered couple any problems nearly to the death if only their marriage develops successfully. And if is not present? If is not present, it is necessary to be ready to difficulties.

In - the first, at a rupture of the relations at once the problem of sharing of in common acquired property - that is all the fact that “it is acquired by back-breaking toil“ arises, and here - that also becomes clear how tedious this process is. If in case of officially registered marriage everything is quite simple - in case of divorce the property is halved if other is not provided by the marriage contract (and in case of death - it is inherited by successors of the first stage, that is - the wife and children), then in the absence of a stamp in the passport of efforts you will not be gathered.

it is necessary

in case of divorce, attracting neighbors and relatives, to prove in court the cohabitation fact, and also the facts of purchase of this or that subject of use (from the iron to the refrigerator) on the money. It is clear, that when people live together, they also do not think of such “nonsenses“, hoping for the best (features of national mentality are that), but if the situation develops adversely - parting proceeds much more problemno, than at those who in marriage official.


Especially poorly protected women with small children: as a rule, they do not work and sit at home with kids, that is their income is equal to zero. Therefore, and the share in “in common acquired“ is scanty. So, they need only to hope for decency of the former partner in the actual marriage - and it is so lucky, alas, not all.

In - the second, the children born in informal marriage also, in principle, become to some extent hostages of decency of their father. It can the child and not adopt - adoption procedure (in principle absolutely trifling, reduced to writing of the corresponding statement and taking only half an hour in the REGISTRY OFFICE) depends only on it. The child who is not recognized as the father officially has neither rights of succession, nor any else rights concerning the father.

Of course if the father does not adopt the child voluntarily, then at desire of mother to fill in the column “father“ in the birth certificate of the child with it it will be possible - but it is necessary to order (and to pay that at all not all on a pocket) procedure of definition of paternity.

And in case the father who assumed father`s duties officially shortly does not sustain burden of a roditelstvo and, having considered itself single and free, will disappear in the unknown direction, subsequently young mother is waited by many unpleasant moments. Let`s tell if she wants to go to rest with the child abroad or to cardinally change the residence or the nationality and the child - her should search for the lascivious cohabitant as without his father`s blessing under the law all this becomes impossible.

However 2 positive moments

  1. are the children who are officially recognized as the informal spouse have just the same rights of succession, as children from the “lawful“ union;
  2. can submit a claim for collecting the alimony for keeping of the kid on the attitude both towards the lawful spouse, and to informal if his paternity is established.

That is everything told above can be summed up as follows. The legislation of the Russian Federation generally not bad protects the child, but practically does not protect the woman who is in informal marriage: business of the help to drowning - in hands drowning...

Especially clearly it those who faced a serious illness and the more so - with death of darling understand

. A rupture of the relations - at all not the most terribl that can happen in life...

of the Official spouse or the spouse will be passed to the patient anyway - if only he / she not at deaths door in reanimation. Informal - hardly, here everything will depend on a so-called human factor and on a material interest of medical staff.


If needs expensive treatment of a serious illness of one of partners outside our country - the official spouse can go abroad in case of need. Informal can not give the visa even.

to the Official spouse will certify a death of the partner in marriage according to the first requirement. Informal it is necessary to sweat fairly, proving the right to such document in the REGISTRY OFFICE (and if they had a joint property or the general children - without such certificate of problems you will not be gathered).

the Official spouse - the successor of the first stage.

Informal - legally nobody and even if they lived in perfect harmony several decades, property of the dead (in the absence of joint children) are absolutely lawfully inherited by parents of the dead, the brother, the sister or even the cousin nephew from Mariupol.


So, it is possible to say, of course, the friend the friend and himself beautiful phrases that the love - a bird free and does not live in a cage. But if to count quantity of the possible problems connected with not registration of the union, then any loving and responsible person will prefer to relieve of them the half. Just properly...

Well, and about psychological aspects of this question - in general conversation special also represents material for separate article. In the previous article we discussed legal difficulties which arise or can arise under certain circumstances at couples which did not register the relation officially. However, besides legal, is much and morally - psychological problems.

Religious aspect I will not consider

as in the face of church any churchless marriage - though issued legally though not issued - it is all the same sinful. Therefore those for whom it is important, in “civil“ marriage (in this or that sense) all the same will not begin to live.

A here on some psychological “reefs“ would like to stop not less in detail, than on legal as they are not less (and at times - and more) important.

In - the first, the opinion that so-called “informal marriage“ - piece frivolous occurs. As if for fun... As if on a draft copy... However actually a problem not in the status, and concerning people to this status and to each other, in gravity of perception of their union per se. That is, certainly, I believe that extremely responsible relations of both partners in a civil marriage to each other are possible - and then their family is stronger any legalized - Jure.

However also other aspect is: only having received “documentary“ confirmation of marriage, many people are capable to record information in the head that they are connected by obligations with the partners. And that not always.


In - the second, quite often it happens so that informal marriage - at all not a consequence of the fact that both parties quite so solved and agreed at sources of the union. Usually happens absolutely in a different way: one partner in marriage (the man is more often) is an adherent of the theory “pure, not turbid a semi-official organ of the relations“, and the second party (the woman is more often) follows his tastes because it does not want to lose this man, and for preservation of the relations also not that will make. Classics of a genre - a desperate monologue of the heroine of “Crew“: “Yes, I agreed with you, agreed, but only because to hold you, the little fool, wanted at least so!“

it usually to those who believe in themselves insufficiently Happens, has not too high self-assessment and believes that “if it leaves - it is forever“ and other such chance already will not be any more. Therefore it is necessary to agree to that, “that is given“

Thus, the psychological aspect of a problem of the similar unions can be summed up as follows. Informal marriage does not create problems to partners and has the right for existence only if it unconditionally suits both parties: they initially agreed about it and went for such marriage with open eyes and without secret intentions “then to make everything as at people“. If the situation suits only one, and the second is forced “to adapt“ for fear to lose the precious treasure, is already another story altogether, and it - at all not about love...

cases when in couple which too long lived in the “informal“ mode, the partner who was initially wishing registration of the relations suddenly at some stage finds out that he absolutely ceased to want it Are frequent

. As well as the relations. It occurs because if (besides, in 90% of cases the woman) against her will too long to pickle one of the parties in “civil marriage“, it just fuses, and the official ceremony loses for it both appeal, and value, and, the main thing - sense...

Therefore I can only one tell

: if you want “to check the feelings“ and not to hurry to stamp passports - check for health, however (it is important!) in advance agree with each other, this “check“ what is the time will borrow. The statistics inevitably claims that if it lasts more than 3 years, chances that the relations will ever come to the end with marriage, approach zero, and the more term, the more promptly.

That is when the term stipulated in the beginning passed, and the partner does not hurry to make out the relations - directly remind him of it. And if in reply - silence, think three times whether you wish to keep these relations: everything depends on a concrete situation.

And if you initially agreed “not to go to the REGISTRY OFFICE“, listen to yourself and answer only three simple questions: whether

  1. your this decision? whether
  2. it causes discomfort in you? whether
  3. you in yourself Feel forces to cope with all possible “reefs“ - both legal, and psychological?

If all answers - “yes“, I congratulate. You the strong person and for your future it is possible not to worry - you to himself the captain and you will taxi anyway.

If at least one answer “no“ is available - think once again whether that is the person with whom you want to live if not all the century, then the next years?

life - not a draft copy, a page not to pull out and not to make a fair copy of

... So it makes sense to consider the acts before, but not after and not instead of and to carefully weigh the opportunities. Good luck!