New year without stresses and diseases: how to prepare the child for a holiday
When I remember New Year`s holidays of the childhood, will - bondage the unpleasant picture emerges: midnight, a chiming clock beats, adults get up with glasses in front of the TV, and here I (the child of years of five) begin to cry. I sob violently and I cannot calm down. Which - as having overstayed a feast, parents take away me home, but crying does not stop. It as though exists against my will, I am surprised to it.
Modern holidays become all nasyshchenny in respect of opportunities. Parents collect tickets for the fir-trees confident in indispensable pleasure of children. Most of children with pleasure would reduce festive action to distribution of gifts: looked at a fir-tree, the gift took and left. Ritual is necessary and important more to parents, but not children. In the early childhood the child already lives in the atmosphere of a holiday. It has very few real “adults“ of affairs and responsibility. Owing to age features children consider that it is necessary to be engaged only in pleasant affairs. It is not always clear to them why parents so seriously treat expectation of New year: only the next fun and gifts to which receiving - besides, owing to age - they, in general, got used. To the child it is cheerful during the holiday? So to it and houses not sadly. Parents often go to far in forcing of festive mood, they train the child for something special in advance, but events can explain importance only to themselves. They wait for rest - from work. Wait for entertainment, an exit “in people“. It for adults holidays - precedent.
For the small child living in series of pleasant events, to each of which great value (visit of the grandmother, interesting walk, game with peers, evening merrymakings with the father), New Year`s holidays are not something exclusive, but, thanks to inept actions of parents, can become the real stress.
When to begin psychological preparation for a holiday?
For the child till three years psychological preparation has small value. Make New Year`s hand-made articles, repeat “New year more often soon!“ acquaint with Father Frost and the Snow Maiden - read fairy tales about them. Do not focus attention on the forthcoming events (morning performances, gifts) - the child at this age does not understand word meaning “soon“ and “then“. Or rather, he can understand them (if he is more than one and a half years old), but, you see, it is difficult to get used to thought that the gift or a cheerful holiday will be then. Why in general then to speak about it. Manage abstract concept of “new year“ - create the atmosphere.is more senior than
of Children prepare for a holiday in advance - since the beginning of December. You can cross out in common on a calendar days that the child saw how month thaws, bringing closer a holiday. In advance begin to make hand-made articles with a New Year`s bias: we build the New Year`s wood with fir-trees, Father Frost and other hares, we cut out snowflakes, we do the New Year`s newspaper. Talk on gifts is taken delicately away aside. Think what morning performance will suit your child at present: whether noisy round dances are pleasant to it or it is better to manage viewing of a performance.
show consideration for specific features of the child, you have to know precisely how many New year it is capable to contain in itself(himself), and then the holiday will be healthy and joyful for all family.
How to avoid a stress by preparation for festive morning performance
do not exaggerate importance of action. Tell about it quietly, allocate the pleasant moments - tell about how the hall will be decorated, the fir-tree, what beautiful suit you thought up. Do not let know at all to the child as if from him wait for something special. Do not calm him special phrases (“everything will be good, be not afraid!“ ), they will set him thinking that the reason for fear everything is is.If the child already well tells
and shows remarkable creative abilities - all the same do not load it with verses , seeking to expose the child the child prodigy. Do not palm off long and difficult verses even in case he is capable to learn by heart them. On morning performance the situation will be unpredictable. Happens that the most active and nothing not afraid children suddenly forget words and feel at the same time badly. A public statement - it is very heavy, and it always coercion. The unripe mentality can react suddenly counter with parental expectations.we prepare
of the Quiet and constraining child for morning performances, telling it... about it. About beauty of a suit, an opportunity to run about, jump around a fir-tree, to observe peers, to touch everything and to study most (and nobody will select, will not disturb). we tell to Active, easily “flammable“ child about other participants of a holiday that it did not concentrate on itself(himself) and did not require to itself undivided attention. Let he will hear about what wonderful suits other children what characters participate in a performance will have.If the child learns
a rhyme - draw to it this rhyme on paper in the form of pictures. Moving from the picture to the picture, you learn words. The child will surely remember this picture at the right time, especially if you repeat a rhyme before going to bed one night prior to an event. One more way: during learning of a verse play a ball - who caught, tells the following line.Forget
about criticism. Such scary phrases as “all children will tell verses, and you are not present“, “will present all gifts, and to you is not present“ do not stimulate the child at all. He will not cry with shame and it is better to behave. The similar criticism causes an internal protest. And especially it is impossible to punish the child, promising to deprive of him a gift if he does not want to tell the poem or to put on a festive suit. Leave him alone. Perhaps, the following morning performance will be more successful.
For children till three years the most suitable New Year`s holiday. Recently many mothers bring on public fir-trees of children which did not execute even year. Psychologists warn: festive actions are always a stress. Put yourself to the place of the child: the weak mentality is not capable to apprehend such amount of impressions adequately. Consequences can be shown not at once, and every other day - a bad dream, crying in the evenings, a fright, refusal of food. Imagine what is mental immaturity: it is a blank sheet. At you as adult, there is a baggage of memoirs, the endured disorders. At all this child is not present, he only begins to broaden the emotional world. Your fanatical aspiration as soon as possible to acquaint it with “fashionable“ visits of public fir-trees can turn back unpredictable consequences. Which as it was already told, will be shown not at once, and gradually. Mothers often speak: “it is necessary for me that the child understood what is New year!“ So show it one holiday - and he surely will understand. Otherwise at it in the head everything will mix up, a complete impression will not be gained.the child realizes
I surely admit to yourself: simply very much it is boring for you to stay at home. It your children`s memoirs drive you to noisy crowd around a fir-tree. But it is bad to solve the problems at the expense of mentality of the child, and in some degree it is even criminal. Children spend themselves seriously. Because trust the events on all hundred. And batteries quickly sit down.
: the child is capable “to digest“ the first conscious holiday only in three years. Three - four years are a special age when to the child there is not enough mother, it is not enough house, relatives. It needs something else. He can already adequately apprehend New Year`s representation in the noisy company. Council: try that morning performances were various, place emphasis on quality, but not quantity. Fathers Frost and Snow Maidens should not troitsya in eyes. Let one fir-tree will be “round“ with Father Frost, on another will show only a performance or only fairy tale characters without Father Frost will entertain. The miracle has to be qualitative, recommend to Invite Ded to the house to children not earlier than 4 - 5 - summer age. And then be ready to explain to the child why one Ded home came (amused, paid individual attention), and on morning performance amused absolutely another (does not put on knees, does not communicate only with it).
the Quantity of New Year`s holidays which the child is capable to realize equals to his age: in a year will be rather house fir-tree. Do not forget that the house holiday is great impression too if you note his houses with the child. It will bring down the mode, he will not be able quickly to fall asleep from - for cannonades behind a window, and well just for certain will reconsider the TV and naprobutsya the “wrong“ food. All this bricks spreads a path to emotional frustration. In two years the child can suit two fir-trees: houses and at school of development (in pass - or usual to a kindergarten). In three years add a public fir-tree at puppet theater, and in four plus to morning performances in theaters invite Father Frost and the Snow Maiden to the house. Do not arrange two fir-trees a week at once. The child every time has to be emotionally ready to something new.
What reefs expect parents before holidays? Of course, unexpected diseases of the child. Why they arise - we will try to sort the reasons.
the Child feels that the attention of parents flows away somewhere. Adults are anxious with the coming ending of year, summing up (not always pleasant), thoughts about gifts, korporativka, that “there is no money“ and “there is no mood“... The child urgently draws attention to himself, concentrating on the feelings - and feelings increase. Children have very sympathetic organism. No sooner said than done, here also ached.
How to avoid? Tranquility, only tranquility. Splash out the emotions more often “on the left“, be uttered to girlfriends and friends, try to find rational solutions for problems. Do not show to children the concern in the forthcoming holidays, do not let it know that the holiday is something, taking away your forces.
John Gray, the family psychotherapist, the author of the book “Indigo Children“ and the cycle “Mars and Venus“ considers that our organism, having received brain signals of the forthcoming pleasure, starts the program of self-cleaning. When still we fill soul and think of light how not before holidays or holiday? In principle so it is necessary to live always to be physically healthy. Signals of the positive future are received, the organism begins to get rid of toxins violently. The person gets sick. If it already had any latent illnesses - they urgently get out outside. The organism expels all bad, being loaded with the positive energy going from the owner. For this reason people get sick before joyful events. The child feels the enthusiasm going from mother, with which at it very strong mental and spiritual bond. And too gets sick before the birthday or novogody. Often there is a syndrome of a one-day illness: at the child high temperature unexpectedly rises, but every other day - two any traces of an illness will not be. What was it? Just that. Reaction to excessive pleasure.
How to avoid? If the child already got sick, remember that such holiday diseases - they, in fact, are very positive. Take them for granted. Of course, there is nothing good that the child will miss all morning performances. On the other hand, these diseases can be a guarantee of good health for long months and years. If you are afraid that the child will get sick - set aside bad thoughts! Be quiet and sure. Read chapter below about planning of problems.
the Child does not want to participate in a New Year`s holiday. it is possible, you progruzit it heart-breaking pictures in advance, having exaggerated its participation in morning performances, having promised to give a suit and a rhyme. The child is anxious and gets sick to avoid unpleasant events.
How to avoid? In a threshold of a holiday you speak with the child only about fine. Tell fairy tales, discuss fairy tale characters, think out a suit. Forget about any psychological pressure.the Winter only - only began
, temperatures are unstable , as a result - immunity decreases, colds come.
How to avoid? Begin to temper the child in advance - since fall, and it is better since summer. Have a shower bath cool water, you go barefoot, accustom an organism to cold. Increase immunity - do not give to the child food which he should not use on age. Apply an aromatherapy: instead of immunomodulators during the periods of flu epidemics use essential oils of an eucalyptus, lavender, a fir and tea tree. They attack viruses and stimulate immune reaction. Apply several drops of oil on a napkin and put it on the battery. Or use aromalampy. To steam of drops of coniferous oil drip to the child on a hat.If the child got sick with
and missed morning performances, try to arrange it a house holiday. Perhaps, the illness will stop being infectious before the end of morning performances, and you still will manage to visit at least one fir-tree.
Planning of problems - a national habit
Psychologists say that only the Russian people are fond of planning of problems, it is national tradition. Problems are not considered as options, not considered just in case - scrupulously plan them as a reality. “We will surely get sick by a holiday, we are always ill!“, “At us surely everything will break!“ - how many times you heard similar exclamations from yourself and people around? People mistakenly consider that, being adjusted on problems in advance, they actually preserve themselves against them. Then not to look “fools“, to have a lawful reason for Cassandra`s grimace: “There now, I and knew, I spoke to all - remember, recently I said to you that we will get sick?“ Intonations at the same time can be even victorious.
It is all about the collected fatigue: you also do not want any holidays. Also weighs thought that the child waits for a miracle, and at all, it seems as, children collect gifts and fir-trees... You have to nothing to nobody. The child will be glad to the one and only chamber fir-tree, and exclusive importance of expensive gifts can be challenged in one minute. Parents buy the vast majority of gifts and tickets for New Year trees for themselves to compensate the personal needs in new impressions, communication, in medical effect of shopping. If to you not to liking festive vanity - emphasis on the word “vanity“ - relax and derive pleasure from the days off. Otherwise your tension will surely fall to you. Or that it is worse, on the child.
Scientists warn that, having once got under influence of a stress, we become then more and more vulnerable for its new attacks. From there is conclusion: parents have to make everything that acquaintance to a stressful situation for their child came as it is possible later. And then any children`s holidays will remain a small miracle in memoirs of the child.