I Wake up in cold sweat, a dreadful dream, I feel a stomach - no, all on the place! And what can happen?! I have a boy, 25 weeks, I on the account from early term! We went to it five years! No, at me everything is all right, I am happy!
the Nightmare began to come true with the morning.by
At first at work at me opened bleeding, then the world failed, and all occurred dreamily rather to me so it seemed, I did not distinguish a dream from reality any more, could not believe that all this happens to me. It seemed, here I will wake up now, I will stroke a stomach, and all will become as was. But I “woke up“ only on a bed in hospital, and the stomach was not any more, there was only a question: “Why?“ Why it happened to me what I was so punished for? Unless I did not deserve ordinary family happiness? Anybody had no answers. One doctor - the Hindu told me that they are not gods, God - gave, God - took!
Week I cried in church. The husband began to be afraid seriously for my mental state and tried as he could, to be with me. Both of us understood that my pregnancy was miracle, and repetition of such miracle, perhaps, will never be. And with it it was necessary to
In two months, temperature began to keep. I considered that all - my organism did not sustain and it needs rest!
do not consider me careless, I perfectly understood that I need to be restored, we are enough adults and used contraception! I do not know how it is correct to be expressed as so it turned out - generally, I was pregnant!I cannot tell
that this news delighted my doctor, of course, she warned me that pregnancy will be difficult and it is necessary to choose: work or the child, it is necessary to stay in bed all term. I agreed to everything!
of 9 months of happiness were saddened only by constant fear that there can be something. Before each consultation I did not sleep night. The fear of repetition of my nightmare sat inside and said that happiness is so fragile, and it can break at any time. Therefore when the doctor showed me small fingers, a mouth, eyes, at me on cheeks tears flew. No, happiness with me, and everything will be good!Now I can give to
short consultation on each maternity hospital in our city as visited all. Got couple of good girlfriends who, as well as I, passed through a lot of things that their happiness was with them. My many values passed revaluation, and friends - check. Perhaps, I paid for it very high price?! But nobody asked me, likely so had to be, and I learned to accept life such what it is!
we Gave birth together with the husband. He held our daughter on hands and cried. I cried. Looking at us, the nurse cried. Now this happiness lives in our house. When, having woken up in the morning, she smiles to me, I feel how this happiness fills me to the top. And all 9 months do not seem to me such heavy any more, they too, seemingly, were happiness, and there are a wish to repeat them again. Because it grew in me, trained me for the emergence that both of us were worthy it to accept!
Now, this history will be included into our family chronicle as well as romantic history of our acquaintance, our wedding, our friendship - and from this there will be our long family life. Happy life!