Rus Articles Journal

Crises of family life. Ways of overcoming

Crises of family life are one of components of normal development of a family.

According to scientific views, “crisis“ means the moment of disbalance of system, loss of compliance (balance) between the problems of the personality and resources existing for their permission.

it is conditional all existing crises of family life are considered as two options of crises.

development Crisis. It is the crises predictably arising during life and at different stages of development of a family (the child`s birth, marriage, a growing of children etc.).

Crisis of a situation. the Majority of crises get to this category and are unpredictable stressful factors (work loss, divorce, the conflicts, etc.) .

the Family as a live organism, has the periods of the childhood, youth, blossoming, diseases, aging and withering. Transition from one period to another is often connected with emergence of contradictions in the relations of the husband and wife and as a result can lead to crises of family life. The paradox is that crises of family life proceed more painfully if the family evolved from passionate love and, on the contrary, quietly and almost imperceptibly if creation of the marriage union was dictated by especially business reasons.

the First crisis period is connected by

with change of an image of the partner, namely, with decrease of its psychological status. If at the beginning of family life he or she seemed “very best“, then during crisis there comes the moment when into the forefront shortcomings of the loved one act. Family life as a pendulum, at the beginning of life deviated to a positive pole (positive exaggeration), and then was sharply thrown to a pole negative (negative exaggeration).

Permission. Structurally endure crises of family life of couple which cease to criticize each other, and pass to the average, balanced state, quietly allocating both advantages, and each other shortcomings. At the same time they place emphasis in the relations on advantages.

the Second crisis period is a psychological fatigue from each other, inclination to freshness and novelty in the relations. Quite often this period is especially sharply endured by men.

Permission. This crisis of family life is less painfully endured by those families in which “the lead weakens“ - conditions for relative freedom and independence of each other mutually admit and also where both begin to look for ways of updating of the relations.

the Third crisis period - the child`s birth. Usually it is hard transferred also by men and women. But men get many sufferings in the first year after the child`s birth, and the woman in the second. Men often say that at them in the first year there are a lot of fears and alarm for a family, the wife loses working capacity and all financial burden of responsibility to lay down on the man, it is very intense situation. At this moment the woman is almost not capable to give to the husband support, she entirely devotes herself to the child. The second year of life of the child is very difficult for the wife. It long was at home, all her life was the schedule of feedings. Here the woman has doubts and whether she still is interesting to the husband, and whether there is she still something as the expert.

Permission. Usually those families where the husband and the wife do not stop talking with each other survive. The husband and the wife during this period have very different tasks, and they live, as they say, “about a miscellaneous“, besides completely absorbed in the affairs.

Fourth crisis period. Usually it is allocated by all psychologists and even not psychologists. It is age of a family - seven years. Usually crisis of this period is connected with boredom in family life, but if to reflect, the young family has nothing to miss yet. The husband at career top, the wife continues a professional way, the child promptly grows and pleases parents with daily “news of growth“. All the matter is that in seven years usually in a family children go to school. And what it means? So is what the young family for the first time should show to the world whom they grew up. This time of the first examinations for the child, and the child - a fruit of the union.

Permission. Also to remember idealization / depreciation. Our child, maybe, and not better than at the others, but precisely - is not worse. Usually the world well accepts children, the main thing that parents did not create additional tension.

the Fifth crisis period is a crisis of family life when the child turns into the teenager. First stage of separation of the child from a family, at first this office only opinions. For the teenager authorities besides his parents appear. This period can be perceived by a family as family disorder, for the man and the woman it something new - the child brings to the house still some opinions and views.

Permission. As it is paradoxical, but the family will get stronger if a little weakens the borders. It is the fine period when it is possible to check a family for durability of the fact that it does not collapse under the influence of new. New which is brought in a family by the child.

the Sixth crisis period is that moment when a family again to become from two people, children leave the house. It is curious how to write:“ leave“ or “leave“? More likely, it is more correct to write about a distance. The child does not leave a family, the parental family always remains for him a shelter, he can always return there. Usually it is the most difficult period for a family. A set of couples leave when to spouses for forty years. It is the difficult period both for women, and for men. Life practically should be remade anew, to look for in it new meanings. Men are fond of young women in hope once again to pass a cycle from creation of a family before leaving of children, women often pay more attention to career. The relations at this stage sometimes are understood as settled, mission is executed.

Permission. Usually helps something to study anew, to have fun.

Crises of family life are one of components of normal development of a family. According to scientific views, “crisis“ means the moment of disbalance of system, loss of compliance (balance) between the problems of the personality and resources existing for their permission.