The school eyes of the parent
Liberal style of pedagogics gets even into an Orthodox environment more and more, undermining education bases - respect for seniors, hierarchy in a family. The love to the child is understood as connivance to willfulness. Of course, to the child who did not get used to discipline is not able to ask forgiveness for a fault, but since childhood teaches adults, it is very difficult at school. But who deserves bigger sympathy here: pupil or teacher?
is forced to recognize that together with school children`s failures begin. While you grow the child in the certain space protected from external trends, you know well that your kid the cleverest (a weeks more from a sort he was able to find you eyes and to smile only to you, not the father, not the grandmother, namely you), the most beautiful, most wonderful child on light. And if he insulted you or beat the friend in a sandbox, then you only pretend that you become angry: “Ah you are my chickabiddy of a dragon!“ Well, the crow tells a voronenka: “My white!“, - and an ezhikha an ezhonka: “Mine of gladenkiya!“ Everything changes when this present which by miracle got to you treasure goes to school. Because only from this point you are forced to correlate own ideas of the child to representation of people around, is frequent, alas, spiteful.
my oldest daughter, apparently, from the birth talked to me preceptive tone. And to tell the truth, the age difference was not so big, all some nineteen years. “Mother, - she says with pressing, - the school is a prison!“ - “But there are good schools“, - I shy object. - “As there are good prisons“, - ruthlessly imprisons the daughter.
Of course, we were very young and inexperienced parents. At us the clever self-confident girl with some irony looking on people around and treating them patronizing grew. As many first children who have nobody to follow an example she called me by name, and it still added charm to its self-confident manner to behave. Once we were with it on a visit in “the decent house“, and the prudish hostess asked me a question: “Dashenka, and who your husband by profession?“ “My husband is a director“, - I answered her, having turned off lips a tubule and mowing with an eye in diligence to correspond to all atmosphere of reception. Four-year-old Ksenya considered it necessary to interfere: “Dasha, you that, - she told reproachfully and, having smiled broadly, addressed guests, - my father builds a cowshed!“ Also was removed to play with a dog, having provided to me to murmur that my husband graduates from director`s faculty of GITIS and in the summer to earn additionally, really contracted together with the friend to build a cowshed. Then still the common sense was with me in a harmony, and did not come to my mind to bring down on the child parental anger for this lovely naivete.
her first teacher, Dina Georgiyevna, I and now, after twenty years cannot remember without horror. At the first PTA meeting it became clear that a half cash desk - not trainees. I then did not know about its most important reception yet - poor students of a half-class, but present to each certain parent business so that his child - is the worst. And here you do not trust own impressions any more, you forget that your child in the last happy preschool summer read together with the father of all “Robinson Crusoe“ that he does rhythmic gymnastics at school of the Olympic reserve and has already the fourth youthful category, and remember only that it “is the worst in a class“ writes letters.“ The best in the world“ in your eyes promptly turns into the sad chronic loser. Thank God, my daughter was surprisingly firm person, everything occurring only strengthened her character.
Today I not only the skilled parent of the school student (our third child finishes the eighth class), but also the teacher, the class teacher of a graduation class who studied school from within.
In eyes is costed by the picture. Fifth class. I declare estimates for the dictation written the day before. Incidentally my look falls on a girl`s face behind the first school desk. On it such horror - the open mouth bent by a grimace, an intense pose is written. I involuntarily look back, being afraid to see what so frightened the child. I find nothing awful and other children are absolutely carefree. It appears, the girl so is afraid to hear that she has not a five. The girl has careful mother, in it there is nothing unusual, at all pyatiklashka - grammar-school boys careful parents, all of them regularly go to PTA meetings, penetrate into the events in a class, are interested in study of the children. Why other children react to the estimates quietly? From my point of view though I will never show it, the schoolgirl this quite weak. At the girl the imagination is not developed, she not too well understands texts, she is not capable to answer quickly and interestingly questions what most of her schoolmates copes with. But it possesses a set of qualities which are above all appreciated at elementary school. Accurate, obedient, beautiful handwriting not to occupy by her assiduity for cramming, it is not indifferent to shortcomings and lightness of people around. Such positive Cyd from “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer“. Mother is guided not by the child, and by the attitude of school towards the child and, having tasted this poisoned potion, begins to demand from it everything new and new portions of praises.
me was caused Once in school to the oldest daughter, having phoned that she “got nasty with the teacher“. I was very difficult to believe in it because unlike quick-tempered sons, it possessed equal character and just like that could not offend the person. I come to school to the teacher of chemistry.
- What happened?
- I asked your daughter a question why it is regularly late for my lessons, - here the teacher made an effective pause and continued by voice full of a solemn anticipation of my horror and anger concerning told, - she answered that she cannot wake up in time because chemistry the first lesson on Monday.you Know
why the teacher sincerely considered that the child “got nasty“ with it? Because Ksenya did not show fear, did not begin to lie that on Mondays she is hurt by the left heel or the driver of the bus by which it goes to school, on the road delivers the son in kindergarten. If the person lies, trying to justify oneself, so is conscious of guilt, so is afraid, means respects.
In our school just there passed the last call. My graduation class gave the traditional last concert. The detective story was the cornerstone of the scenario - education killed with USE. The Common Sense which, of course, was condemned for forced labor acted as the claimant on court session. It seems to me that common sense instantly changes the person when the speech comes about school. You immediately catch this spoiled relation to normal human manifestations. You immediately forget about all children`s books which are ever read. There was no Tom Sawyer and Gek Fynn, there was no “Conduit and Shvambraniya“, there were no numerous free and poeticized poor students whose criterion of the personality were not school estimates and diligent behavior, and their human qualities - kindness, courage, fidelity to friendship and many other things. Your son received the two on geometry - what nightmare! He ran along a corridor, he shouted at a lesson, he in a fit of temper spoke in beard, abusing the teacher the silly woman (the neighbor in a school desk overheard and informed). He lost the mobile phone, it awfully looks in this school uniform, it cannot do chin-ups (all can do). The mathematics teacher hates it. And for what to it to love you? There is stop, dear! Each child is what to love for. And your, the best on light - especially!to me bothered to hold back
I modestly the main thing - the teacher is obliged (!) to love children. We are afraid even to remember it, the majority considers that work of the teacher is so awfully heavy, and pay it so awfully a little what to demand from it that it with love concerned the pupils that he honestly chose this profession, but not because more nothing is able, it is more to any higher education institution could not come etc., it is just impossible. I will open a secret - work not heavy, pay in Moscow much today. Also there are good teachers. Even there is a lot of them, but all the same is not enough for all. Also others get aunts who shout, hate, humiliate, and dump the most important, the inability to teach on the child - not trainee, abnormal, dismissed! And it we have to follow of them the tastes? To agree with them? No way!
Of course, it is impossible to abuse his teacher in the presence of the child. But we have a heap of ways to let know to the child that you do not share opinion of the teacher on it. And if begins to seem to you that is unimportant whether kind your child whether he feels sorry for stray dogs, whether he has friends, whether he reads the book “according to the program“, and it is important only that at school it was praised, shake by the head to shake delusion!