Parents in a mirror of school
Children bring the problems in school from the house, from a family. What main reasons for the conflicts in school? How to help the child to overcome fear of excessive tasks? How it turns out what children, polite and quiet houses, get up any pieces at school? Whether the pupil with difficult, conflict character will be able to adapt to school? How to parents to coordinate the expectations with the child`s opportunities?
Any conflict, so far as concerns interaction of people, means existence of contradictions. In its basis lack of a consent between two parties, in our case - between parents and school lies. We should remember that in school life education of the child continues and what originates in a family is shown: if, for example, children grow in a criticism situation, they learn to criticize and discuss other people.
What main reasons for the conflicts in school? They are different. The teacher could not understand the pupil or did not know that this pupil represents, did not manage to reveal all undercurrents: what relationship in the pupil`s family whether long ago he studies at this school - here to you and the soil for conflict emergence. But if the child had a conflict with the teacher, from the point of view of administration the teacher is always guilty. If the teacher allowed possibility of the conflict, so it lacked experience, professionalism, so he did not know psychology of the child - the teacher should not bring communication with the pupil to the conflict. And if the teacher cannot cope with a class, then it is necessary to replace the teacher.But we will begin
with the first steps at school. Fear of excessive tasks - at all not motivation for the child anyway, and in school life - and even less so. The unwillingness of some first graders go to school can be caused by the fact that at his parents unpleasant memoirs, and, perhaps are connected with school, he already repeatedly heard negative reviews of school - now parents do not hesitate to speak at children about everything.
A here children, whose elder brothers and sisters already study at school, as a rule, go to study with pleasure. Because younger are always trained at seniors, imitate their example. Younger already know, than are engaged at school, they need to explain nothing, they already understand how to behave what the school will demand from them.
should not Focus attention of the child on difficulties, the school gives to the child a set of positive emotions: pleasure of communication, friendship, an opportunity to choose for itself the most interesting occupation.
Quite often the conflicts arise because parents consider that all are obliged to them, and they on anything, have the right. The pupil has to bear responsibility for an unlearned lesson, but is frequent instead of being content with “two“, he runs to complain to parents of injustice of the teacher. And among parents is such which consider that their child is right by definition. At comprehensive school the similar conflicts are exhausted when the parents considering the child as the child prodigy transfer the child to experimental, elite, private or special school, that is to school around which there was a legend.For school in general it is not especially good
because the number of potential excellent students and strong pupils as a result decreases. However it is not really terrible because talented children always are, it is only necessary to belong to this talent correctly. We had a gifted pupil whom we transferred from the fourth class to the sixth as outstanding abilities on mathematics were found in it. Such children it is necessary at once to reveal and allow them to be engaged in a favourite subject at more difficult level. Sometimes children come to the first class very well prepared, then they can be transferred to the second at once. Why to the pupil to draw hooks if he already well writes letters?the Soil for the conflict also the fact that parents not always truly correlate the ambitions to abilities of children can be
and by that put the child in a difficult situation, expecting from it immediate good results. And it can become the reason of poor progress of the child.
Often happens, parents are proud that the child in a special school learns English, French and Spanish, but then he does not maintain loading, gets sick, it corrupts character, and as a result it appears at usual comprehensive school. “Downgrade“ (though it is unknown, whether so it actually) is added to all misfortunes in this situation and the child will endure this situation painfully.Should not be done to
the child by a subject of the ambitions and imaginations. It is necessary to try to understand to what at it the soul lies - let instead of three foreign languages he will register in a design circle where make model aircrafts if it is more interesting to it. Perhaps, the obedient child will also carry out will of parents and to diligently study that to him it is uninteresting, but whether will bring it this happiness?Quite often parents state to
discontent that at school “artificial selection“ is made - classes of the excellent students and classes who are lagging behind on which teachers often wave a hand are created. But it is wrong. If such selection is made, the best teachers have to be directed for correction of poor students. Always it is necessary to distribute teacher`s shots correctly. And it is impossible to brand the child:“ You are a poor student, and sit in a remedial class“, it is unknown whom this person will become in the future, perhaps, it will open abilities in the most unexpected area. >
In certain cases unexpected for fathers and mothers it are p violent behavior at school of their children - such quiet and peaceful houses. How it turns out what children, polite and quiet houses, get up any pieces at school? The confusion, amazement and mistrust to words of teachers to the child are combined at the parent with aggression and desire to rise in defense of “innocently accused“. And to one of the indiscipline reasons very often serves the fact that parents did not give it the chance the energy to splash out houses. Or he is strictly punished, or promise gifts or money for good behavior and the made lessons, and the child stays at home meek and mild. And at school it, of course, prevails.Me often ask
a question: whether the pupil with difficult, conflict character will be able to adapt to school? We teach one such boy. Once it unexpectedly revealed in literary creativity, as a result for it prospects opened. Our school of A.S. Pushkin publishes the Pushkin literary collection on which pages any pupil can publish the works. And this boy, then the second-grader, wanted to take part in him. You represent how the kid when he was solemnly handed an author`s copy of the collection was proud? He, of course, became staid, having realized himself the poet.Often difficult children are
the most gifted. It is necessary to be able to give to the child a scope for self-expression. I remember one more schoolgirl who was badly advanced at all school objects: that was extraordinary talented in dance art - and all thanks to mother who actively developed the daughter, acquainting her with amateur performances. Never it is impossible to brand the difficult child. There are schools of the compensating training for those who due to illness cannot fully acquire the program. Eventually, the child who is badly perceiving school can be trained also houses if parents are sure that they will give it necessary education.
Other often discussed problem - the child are not accepted by schoolmates. In that case it can try to be adapted to collective by means of amateur performance, having written down in school ensemble, in some section, to give it the chance to participate in a theatrical performance, or to transfer to other class. Unite joint affairs.
Sometimes happens that it is correct to perceive the person stir the developed stereotypes. Sometimes, children know each other from kindergarten: they were in one group, now go to one class and transfer the developed relations to school. The child grows up, changes, and the perception his surrounding children does not change. Therefore if at the child of the relation with any children did not develop in kindergarten, it is better not to send him to one class with them. Sometimes parents insist:“ He got used to be with these children, with them it will be better for him“. But it is more useful to some children to appear in new collective.it would be possible to List to
possible questions and claims of parents further, but we will stop on the main thing - the conflicts grow because of our general imperfection: teacher`s and parental. Everyone has to work on itself(himself). If the atmosphere in a family benevolent and sensitive, then the child who is brought up in mutual love, care and the help grows same sensitive and sympathetic. To the contrary, fear of an overload of children at school, discharge them from household chores is a big mistake - in this case the child will become an egoist rather and will neglect work in general.
I Will repeat, children bring the problems in school from the house, from a family. Many of us can take place as good workers, as loyal friends, as the happy husband or the wife, but to be insolvent as parents. Condition of children: their behavior, study, interests, always reflects a condition of their parents. You should not look for ideal school, important most to move in the necessary direction, not to cease to be interested sincerely in the world and to study.