If the teenager does not want to study...
Are rude, lies, shirks school, runs away from the house... Intolerable teenager. How to cope with it?
... If the father Lesh a few years ago told that Anton in fifteen years will get up, Alexey just would burst out laughing. It is them are that Antoshka who in elementary grades took ballroom dances, and then - soccer, studied well, pleased mother and the father with good behavior, will be on the tramp and after 9 - go a class will throw school?! Unfortunately, it happened quite so. Months of idleness stretched. Tried to employ the guy, but it seemed to him boring. Anton dangled for days on end with friends, sometimes at them spent the night, sometimes somewhere left. Was engaged in nothing. Also struck with a boundless non-obligation: what you will ask, it seems, did not refuse, but did not carry out. It seemed, he did not live, and powerlessly went down stream as the leaf which fell in water.
Sometimes to parents were called Antoshkina by friends and complained that he borrowed money and does not return. Parents were indignant, but debts of the son distributed... Once in day of registration of the room transaction they all family had to come to the notary to in advance fixed time what hundred times parents reminded the son of. And it really was at home, only to half an time has come, to the friend, the neighbor in an entrance, and returned... in two days. The father - the eloquent lawyer - did not find words to estimate the son`s act, and just pulled out a belt from trousers and tore out the guy...
What forces teenagers to behave so as if they from mind of a poskhodila?the Point of view of the endocrinologist
Such behavior can be explained to
with search of the place in society. Teenagers want to acquire the rights of adults, but do not hurry to undertake their duties and cannot because are not ready. All this so. But there are also other reasons - biochemical.
Lyubov Samsonova, candidate of medical sciences, associate professor of endocrinology of children`s and teenage age of DPO RMAPO Roszdrava Public Educational Institution:
“One of the reasons for which it is difficult for teenagers to study, - deficiency of iodine. Suffer from it 80 - 90% of the population of Russia - those who live far from the sea. Iodine is not produced in an organism, does not collect, it has to arrive every day with food and be spent for synthesis of hormones of a thyroid gland. These hormones regulate work of all systems of an organism, first of all, of the central nervous system. There are not enough hormones - memory decreases, worsens visually - figurative thinking, the attention dissipates. It is required to teenagers of iodine more, at them the speed of all exchange processes is very high. Lack of will, laziness, fatigue is again - shortage of iodine, it defines not only intellectual working capacity, but also physical.“
What to do to parents?
Use iodinated salt. And surely give to the teenager potassium iodide. He has to receive not less than 200 mkg of iodine a day every day during all puberty, that is for 3 - 5 years.
Point of view of the psychiatrist
Anatoly Severny, candidate of medical sciences, leading researcher of NTs of mental health of the Russian Academy of Medical Science, president of Association of children`s psychiatrists and psychologists:
“The boy has an unstable type of character. Such teenagers are dependent, follow the tastes of an environment. They have no interests except how “to hang out“.
Besides the guy obviously endures crisis of motivation - a state which at teenagers is noted often, but, unfortunately, is a little studied. The child usually wants what is wanted and parents wait from him. It is important to it to get approval of mother and father. At teenage age this motivation is replaced by own. Now it has to realize what wants. But if the parental motivation is already rejected, and own did not ripen yet, the teenager wants nothing, he does that does his immediate environment: follows the one who will call, lives “for the company“...
What to do to parents? To wait until the child has own motivation. But not idly, and constantly giving it an opportunity to try some business.
Councils of the psychologist
Maria Radionova, candidate of psychological sciences, associate professor of faculty of psychological consultation of MGPPU:
- Have patience. Hormonal reorganization will end, impulsiveness, irritability, aggression will leave, the cerebral cortex will ripen, it will become easier to study. But stop any of disrespect for yourself! Do not turn into the uncomplaining victim.
- Continue to love the child who behaves now so nasty, in every possible way show it that you did not wave on it a hand, and you believe that it good and is capable of good acts. It is not less difficult for it, than you.
- As often as possible you converse in an open and frank manner, without threats and charges. Even if you do not share views of the son or daughter, listen to foreign point of view.
- Try to keep calm. Because the guarantor of tranquility in the relations with the child - you, the adult.
- to maintain composure, use reception “vision change“. Do not think of global catastrophes in the long term: “will become the addict“, “will go to the panel“... Consider each concrete day, pluses and minuses of your communication today. Also discuss them, keeping respect for the teenager.