Crisis of the middle of the childhood of
Teenage age is taken by both children, and their parents hard. A task of adults - not to press on the child, not to be at war with him, and to understand, support and help to find itself.
Hostages of changes
Psychologists consider that children enter difficult age in 11 - 12 years. However at someone teenage problems can begin also in 10, and at someone - in 14 years. At this time the child changes externally and internally.the Majority of the troubles arising in a family are connected by
with misunderstanding of these changes. The growing is characterized not only sincere experiences, but also external changes. The teenager promptly grows, he changes a voice, a body, physiology in general. Meanwhile he laughs over “malyshny“ because he at heart regrets that it any more not such.
I at the same time the teenager tries to separate from parents, being afraid that they will not accept it - new. The fear provokes protective reaction - it does not give itself to embrace and to kiss: “Any sloppy sentimentality!“ But right now the child more than ever needs support!
the Teenager wants to behave as adult, but his body is not ready to serious loadings yet. It is necessary to consider: at this age sharp differences of temperatures as mechanisms of heat exchange can glitch are dangerous, in particular. Therefore you should not spend much time on the sun.also intensive physical activities Are harmful to
. In adolescence the power exchange in cages becomes more intense, operability of muscles falls. Beach volleyball, basketball, badminton, game in “bouncer“ are useful to their training... However physicians recommend to avoid awkward jumps.
during rapid growth tubular bones become especially fragile. Also breath delays are undesirable, for example, at scuba diving. The teenager transfers shortage of oxygen heavier, than adults. Explain to him that restrictions are connected with feature of physiological processes.do not press
the authority!Though teenagers are also strongly attached by
to parents, in their life peers - friends and schoolmates, the same hostages of a growing begin to play a huge role now. The difficult age therefore is called difficult that conceals in itself the mass of dangers. Always the obedient son suddenly begins to smoke, the daughter dyes hair in extreme red color, imitating girlfriends.
at the same time they make decisions independently, and confront parents with a fait accompli. Meanwhile all of you still have strong levers of pressure upon the maturing child. But be not too authoritative!
Having suppressed force “revolt“ once, you risk to meet firmer and thought-over resistance further. But also it is impossible to follow of the teenager the tastes too, otherwise he can become the real house tyrant. Here it is more reasonable to work in a different way.
School of acting skills
Allow the child to experiment. Treat to it, perhaps, to defiant behavior as fascinating game. Or as to courses... acting skills.
Think up together with the daughter a fashionable dress for a party and arrange it at your place. Attract the husband or the adult man having authority to influence on the son. Unostentatiously be interested as the child in this or that ticklish situation will behave.
Allow it to play enough
with own image now - so far it is not so critical as, say, years in 16 - 17. And act as the grateful audience more actively and try to find something positive in any situation. Very effective way - to understand that it is really interesting to the child that at it well it turns out, and in every possible way it to support in this hobby.
your approval and attention will give to the child self-confidence. And the more surely he will feel, the it will be more difficult to come under him bad influence in a circle of peers.
the Egocentric necessarily
Misunderstanding of own acts and emotions generates a teenage egocentrism. Present to the child a beautiful notebook, it is better with a lock, and suggest to write down thoughts, feelings, events. And never there look - it is the private territory! Other option - a dictophone. The child can pronounce that he disturbs him. It to it will help to understand itself.
He fell in love!Even if you are ready to tell
frankly about everything with the child, do not wait immediately from it for the same openness when business concerns the first love, especially if it is undivided. A lot of patience will be required to cause it on confidential conversation and together to understand a situation.Parents have to help the child to realize
that life does not come to an end and the world did not fail! Adults should telling about how they fell in love and left. It will help to recover with memory the forgotten feelings long ago and to understand what words of a consolation there was a wish to hear most of all at that moment. And, above all - as then it was succeeded to cope with the experiences. The fact that the father or mother faced the same problemamiya difficulties gives rise at the teenager to trust to parents.
Treat as the friend
Main that is required from adults - love and sincerity. Crisis of awkward age will take place, but your child has to be always sure that in a family it is loved, despite everything, and accept it what it is. In any way show to the son or the daughter that you did not wave on them a hand, and you believe that they are good. Believe, it is more difficult for them, than you!
Get it together and have patience. When hormonal reorganization ends, there will pass irritability, aggression. It only business of time. Try to keep calm in any situation. Because the guarantor of good relations with the child - his parents.