In the interests. We learn to assert the rights of
Pregnancy is a state special, and including from the point of view of the rights which are got by future mother. But sensitivity and vulnerability which, as we know, often accompany pregnancy sometimes prevent women to assert the rights. Future mothers should not lose self-confidence.
I Have the right!Pregnancy bears
in itself not only internal changes, but also the new social status which gives to the owner many rights. The part of these rights is enshrined in laws, and the part is secret norms of society where we live. Ability to stand for itself, to assert the rights - very important personal quality which is present at self-assured people. But even very self-assured women during pregnancy become especially sensitive, sometimes give in and are lost in a situation, new to themselves. Therefore for a start it is important to learn on what rights it is possible to count.
So, the rights share on official and informal. Official are enshrined in laws and regulations and first of all are connected with the labor law of future mother and medical care. Public and national traditions and norms, and also family customs belong to informal. For example, careful attitude to the pregnant woman which has to be shown in that even strangers were ready to give way in transport belongs to public norms or not to interfere with passing to a medical office out of turn. It is clear, that such informal norms though exist, but are carried out not always.
If the rights, both official, and informal, are observed, future mother feels safe. But situations when she feels are possible: in relation to it arrive unfairly.Why lacks
Even those women who before pregnancy were very sure of themselves and were able to assert the opinion and the right, can feel that now they are not always ready to it. If earlier the woman spoke, then now she with insult is silent. If before the word for the offender were at once, then now it as though is lost and long looks for phrases which then, most likely, will not tell. Why does that happen?
Pregnant women try not to enter the conflict, it is natural reaction of protection of, as well as a fruit from additional negative emotions. The woman internally assumes that if conflict communication continues, it will force it to worry that it can badly be reflected in the child who as speak, “everything feels“.Partly it is faithful to
, but only partly. In - the first, to the child negative emotions, but or very strong, connected with experience of a severe stress, or not too strong, but long can really do much harm. Thus, you should not be afraid to enter sometimes potentially conflict communication, it is important to know when to stop only that emotions were not with a sign “too“.
In - the second when the woman does not assert the rights, do not answer “offender“, it not only does not reduce intensity negative emotions, and even raises it. The matter is that without having reacted properly in a situation which demanded that, future mother is inclined to have long time, to remember offense, to think as as it would be necessary to tell. The feeling can weigh the woman that she allowed to offend herself, without having answered the offender in any way. Such long experiences influence an emotional background of future kid and his mother much worse, than let and the sharp, but actual answer in the arisen situation. In - the third, mother it is important to assert the rights, also the rights of her child, care of his wellbeing. However, in this question the main thing - to know when to stop that lawful upholding of the rights did not become manipulation with people around under the flag of pregnancy.
Therefore the recommendation is as follows: assert the rights belonging to you by right. Do not dare to be offended. Even if the rights will not always manage to be defended, you have to feel that you made everything from you depending.we Defend
to assert the rights practically in any situation at interaction with strangers, and also at work and in medical institutions, it is possible to use the following algorithm.
first step: knowledge of own rights. Awareness on the rights, both official, and informal, ability to be guided in their formulations - a necessary condition of to defend them if necessary. Therefore in advance, in a quiet situation study laws, and also reflect on what you have the right to wait from people around for.
Step of the second: it is mentally formulated the violated right. At the moment when there is a certain precedent, the woman understands: its right is violated. And now it is necessary as it is possible to formulate more precisely for himself what exactly the right is violated. For this purpose there can sometimes be several days, and sometimes it needs to manage to be made for several seconds. For this reason the first step about which it was told above is important.
At work: “I have the right not to work overtime“. In policlinic: “I have the right to be registered at the actual place of residence“. In transport:“ I have the right to sit in transport“.
Step the third: address expression of own right. At this stage you have to state already formulated phrase to the one who is a violator of your right. You enter the additional argument when it is possible, mention by whom or what this right is granted to you. Do it by quiet, confident tone.
At work to the chief: “Under the Labour code I am no the right to involve in overtime work“. In policlinic: “I want to be registered on pregnancy in this maternity welfare unit. What I need to make now for this purpose?“. In transport:“ Give way, please, to me. I in situation, and I need to sit down“.
Step the fourth: we monitor reaction. Time of the third step happens to its accurate formulation enough that the person who violated your right or being going to make it refused the intentions. At this stage of people can agree with your opinion or offer to you explanations of the actions. For example, the chief can answer: “Yes, I know that pregnant women cannot be involved in overtime work, but Katya got sick, and you are the only expert who will cope with this urgent work. I respect your right, but you could not work by way of exception?“ . In a maternity welfare unit most likely will list you necessary documents or will send to administration. In transport you will be given way, most likely, especially if you addressed potentially benevolent person.
If on reaction of the person clear that he considers violation of your rights normal, needs to pass to the following step.
Step the fifth: repetition of the formulation of the violated right and the description of your possible steps. Once again, repeat that phrase more slowly about own rights which you already said. Further tell that you undertake if your right is broken further.
to the Chief: “Under the Labour code I am no the right to involve in overtime work. If my right is broken further, I will file the written statement to the director, and if necessary and in inspectorate for work“. In policlinic:“ I have the right to be registered on pregnancy in policlinic, the next to the place of my actual accommodation. If it is not provided to me, it is necessary to address for explanations the manager of office“.
Step of the sixth: act on circumstances. If it becomes clear that, despite everything, the person continues to violate your legitimate right, address the one who can help you with justice restoration. If it is about work or actions of the doctor, it is possible to wait some reasonable amount of time (for example, week) to understand whether the situation changed. If is not present - address “above“.Future mother can insist
of the Right, connected with preservation of health of mother and future kid. Future mother has the right to wait from the family that her life will be organized so that to promote the best course of pregnancy. For example, if before someone smoked directly in the apartment, he has to think of change of the habit. If the woman before pregnancy one went to shop, bearing back huge bags, then she can wait that those ¬ per duties will be redistributed.
of the Right, connected with preservation of a peace of mind. the Pregnant woman can hope that the family will try to make a situation in a family of quieter if earlier other was observed. For example, it is possible to wait from the mother-in-law that she will suspend a stream of cavils to mother of her future grandson.
of the Right, connected with feeling of safety. the Feeling that it is protected from struggles of life is especially important for future mother. Therefore the pregnant woman has the right to wait from people around that they will protect her from part of frightening information: stories about difficult delivery, telecasts with messages about a kat ¬ stanzas, frequent talk on shortage of money.
Step of the seventh: estimate result. If you act quietly and assert the rights belonging to you by right, most likely, the result will be positive. You will achieve observance of the rights and will feel satisfaction. But if for any reason of observance of the rights it was not succeeded to achieve, you will be able to tell yourself that you made everything that depends on you. It will allow you to reconcile to a situation and not to worry about the missed opportunities.
the Family rights
In a family at the pregnant woman are the rights too: on preservation of health, a peace of mind, on feeling of safety. And it is necessary to work on their upholding in a different way as in this case it is about close people with whom it is necessary to keep the most cordial relations. Therefore about observance of the rights it is necessary to ask, but not to demand. It is necessary to agree about realization of primary number of the rights still before they, perhaps, are broken. Formulate the expectations (for example, “now I want that you always accompanied me in shop“, “it is necessary, to try to protect me from disturbing transfers, movies and messages“ etc.). These expectations need to be stated adresno, i.e. to that for whom expectation works. Sometimes it happens enough that your rights were not violated. And in case of violation happens to remind enough (“We agreed that...“ ) and once again to discuss a situation. Therefore the main recommendation is as follows: think over in advance what rights you have in a family in connection with your situation, and discuss it with relatives. It will help to avoid a large number of potentially conflict situations.
... you will be given way in transport when your pregnancy becomes obvious.
... people around will not be persuasive and will not begin to ask “benevolent“ questions or to give unnecessary advice concerning your situation.
... people around will not be rough and will not begin to release unethical remarks concerning pregnancy.
If nevertheless you come up against a situation in which relatives violate your rights, it is necessary to work.
first step: internally formulate what observance of your right you would like to reach. For example, “I have the right for that now the husband helped me more, having undertaken part of duties“. As it was already told above, how you will formulate a problem, the end result depends.
Step of the second: you speak aloud on its own behalf. It is very important to use so-called “I - the statement“, i.e. to speak about the feelings and desires, but not in an accusatory key. For example:“ It is already difficult for me to carry out on the house the same duties, as before pregnancy“.
Step the third: state positive expectation and remind of the rights. Further you have to formulate what behavior you expect in the future from the loved one that you felt comfortable. For example, “I want that we to a vma ¬ to a sta thought what duties you will be able to undertake while I am pregnant, and then when the kid is born. Your help very much will help me“.
Step the fourth: discuss and try to agree. Listen to objections if they are, and try once again, avoiding charges and using “I - statements“, to explain the position. It is also necessary to clear counter expectations. Perhaps, it will become clear that some vital principles or counter expectations are obstacles for execution of the fact that you want from the partner. For example, the husband can tell that he works too much that to be engaged in evenings in a household. At this stage the main thing - to keep valid communication, not to deviate in demonstrative offense or annoyance.
Step the fifth: to look for “golden mean“ together. Now, having cleared mutual expectations and obstacles, it is necessary to try to reach compromise, to find a way to satisfy wishes of both parties, perhaps and not fully. It is much better, than “to pull a blanket on itself“ as temporary “prize“ will force the partner to look for ways to break a situation in the party. For example, the wife and the husband can find opportunities in a situation with redistribution of household chores in order that the husband nevertheless undertook part of housework (for example, put, not demanding big time, on weekdays in the evenings, and also affairs which are expensive on time and forces, on the weekend).
It is right or not?
some situations in which the woman can demand observance of the rights while they seriously limit the rights of other people Are. For example, violation of the rights of other people happens in a working situation when the pregnant woman waits for too big eases, can be late with delivery of the work which is part of the uniform project seeks to shift part of own duties to shoulders of colleagues. Even if people at first follow “the tastes“, then in them the discontent ripens. You should not speculate with a good attitude to yourself, enjoy a kind favor, but only when it is really necessary.
Sometimes women violate also the rights of the family, demanding to take all their whims for granted. For example, if you send nearly an every night the husband behind the fact that to you it is insuperable there was a wish to eat, then these are whims, but not a pressing need, and you violate his legitimate right for a dream and rest. You should not seek to make pregnancy “trump“, having forced to execute people around something. It is better not to use this method, pregnancy does not grant the right for permissiveness. It is necessary to remember that the rights are not only at future mother, but also at surrounding people.