The first birthday of
This morning when early rays of the tender July sun hardly touched my face, and houses the sleepy silence still reigned, I woke up from some strong feeling inside, somewhere in depth of the heart.... I woke up from feeling of happiness which already a year pursues me everywhere where I was - at work and at home, during business meetings and on a visit and what there to tell, even in a dream. Yes, today exactly a year as my life abruptly changed - I gave birth to the daughter.
As time quickly flies! I remember as that day yesterday, I remember how I convulsively packed personal belongings at myself in an office (also as well as I remember a confused voice of the chief by phone distinctly, for it it was also unexpected, as well as for me), I remember the scared eyes of the husband and full of sympathy and tears of an eye of mother which were seeing off me at the time of the most responsible event of my life. I remember this terrible, rolling pain lasting infinity and thoughts, think... Why I started all this? Whether I will be able to transfer it?I Remember
how my mobile phone from calls of my relatives and friends was broken off, it seemed such far and artificial, and it was difficult for me even to reach it... I remember how I envied the cars passing by, I looked on the people sitting out of them from the windows and thought: “As to them it is good!“
For a long time behind sleepless nights and hours-long a motion sickness in attempts to understand why the baby cries and as to calm her, are behind ringing to all girlfriends and relatives with the question “what to give from a tummy“. Already the kilograms gained during pregnancy disappeared, the daily routine is adjusted. Life becomes more quietly and more measuredly, and this morning, looking at how in a dream my child with pleasure snuffles, I understood one - here it, happiness!Happiness to watch
how your child sleeps, infinitely to recalculate all fingers on handles and legs and to kiss each one million times. Happiness to see her smile and how she rejoices when I come home. To feel happiness how its gentle handles embrace me. To feel happiness and that unconditional love which only children can love. Happiness when you are loved just for the fact that you are... Here it, happiness - when you love so what not to be at loss for words, so, that it is ready to give life, without deliberating second, so, that the head is turned.Every day brings to
new pleasures from new achievements of the child - the first smile, the first zubik, the first “mother“. These small pleasures eclipse all my progress, combined. How I without you lived earlier?
Today I understood one - I never will become former any more - the carefree and careless little girl. The motherhood gave me completeness and intelligence of life for the sake of which it costs living. Now I will not violate for anything the traffic regulation. I became just cleverer, knowing that I the house am waited by the little man to whom I am necessary above all. I do not belong to myself any more. Now I cannot begin the lunch, without having recognized whether my child is full, whether also all with it as it should be. As it is written in one book:“ Mother at first carries the child in a belly, then she carries it on the hands, and for the rest of the natural she carries it in the heart“. Right now, more than ever before, I began to understand the mother.
I today, at the very first birthday of Adema, I can tell one - I with pleasure am ready to pass through all these difficulties and pain again, only once again to become mother.
Thanks to all mothers for immense care and love in our life.