The father will separately live...
So, another are not given: you get divorced... When people leave after the long time spent together, it is always heavy, and not only for two adults, but also for their child. He will worry in something even stronger, than you. But in your forces to reduce his pain.
the Father, mother what happened?the Kid is lost by
, he does not understand what occurs. Still quite recently parents quietly communicated, then began to swear and shout often at each other... Now the father left the house and appears very seldom, and mother almost does not talk to it and cries much. What does all this mean?
When the kid does not understand what occurs around, and adults do not explain him it, he will consider himself guilty of what occurs in a family.“ Probably, - he will solve, - I something do it not so if parents constantly quarrel“.
of the Consequence of such conclusions can be the most unfavourable for the child - beginning from the difficulties of behavior, subsequent to divorce, and finishing with not developed own family life... Therefore it is very important to make everything that your child did not draw such conclusions.
is known Long ago that expectation something bad sometimes is even worse than this bad. And the child always feels what occurs between parents. Therefore it is better you will make, than the neigbour the aunt Masha. Rather you will talk to it about what occurs in your family, the less it will be injured by this event. Tell it that you with the father cannot live together any more, and the father will live separately now, but he will try to visit you. And yours with it relationship of the kid will not concern. Also try, at least in return, to keep this promise.not only what words you at the same time will tell Is important
. Much more important with what feelings and intonations you will tell it. Try to explain all so that from this conversation the kid understood: that did not occur between his mother and the father, they will always remain for it the loving parents who will always remember it, to love and support him.He you will understand
to the Child important to know that it has mother and the father, adults and clever parents who can solve the problems and will not force it to make the difficult choice or to support someone one of them, to hang up on it responsibility for the acts. When the kid knows that the decision is made, and it is correct, he ceases to worry and blame himself for what occurs between parents. So be not afraid to injure it such news. Perhaps not at once, but he will understand you.
“And where father?“with
to You it is very painful now and though you know that at first before divorce - the heaviest, it does not help you. It is painful to you to remember the ex-husband, you accuse him of all mortal sins, and it is clear. But the child perceives everything very literally therefore important that your kid did not adopt that relation which you have to the ex-husband, having taken it for the own relation.
If for some reason it occurred, and your hostility to the ex-husband was transferred to the daughter, when she grows up, it can transfer this hostility to all men, and then it can have big problems in own private life. Remember that for the girl the father is an ideal of future husband, and for the boy it is a role model.
Therefore, it was not as if heavy to you, you should not speak at the child badly of his father. In order that your kid grew up the strong and harmonious personality, he has to feel what remarkable and good both of his parents, and not just someone one of them. It has to “rely“ both on the father, and on mother, it is important to it to respect both parents.Act with
Very important to exercise in divorce process judgment. Use reasonable efforts everything that is connected with divorce, occurred as soon as possible. It will reduce both your sufferings, and sufferings of your child. If in the course of it there are any difficulties, try not to row with “former“ at the child. If that sees that houses quietly, it will give it confidence that everything is all right. And then it will be much easier for both of you to transfer all difficulties of your new life. But then, when time will come, you will surely talk to it about what waits for you further. For example, that with you someone else will sometime live...
If you feel that process of divorce is dragged out, constantly there are scandals, perhaps, it makes sense to you to address the family psychologist or the psychotherapist. With its help it is possible to reduce, smooth those emotional “splashes“ which can accompany you during divorce. And to you, and the child it will do only good.