Rus Articles Journal

The villain - destiny of

how not to feel like the unlucky person in life, the psychologist and the TV host Galina Tymoshenko argues.

such interesting metaphor Is: life is a carpet which the destiny weaves from our lives. And at destiny is, certainly, it wants to see the ideas of what pattern on this carpet, but also it is quite ready to support our valuable initiatives. If, of course, these initiatives are capable to decorate the pattern conceived by destiny or even to improve. And at each thread (read: human life) - irrespective of its color or length - there is, unique and necessary, a place in a carpet. And all of us know what the background matters: perhaps, that not smaller, than main pattern. And, if someone`s life breaks too early, it means all - navsy that continuation of this life would damage to the general pattern.

Perhaps and not too consolatory metaphor, maybe, it is sad that it is unknown to us the general plan of destiny, maybe, all the same pulls us to be the center of a pattern, and not gray, let and absolutely precisely picked up background, but it is beautiful, the truth?

you know

A why I remembered this metaphor? But because the question was asked me: what to do not to feel like the loser (or the unlucky person - necessary to emphasize)? Also was interested I other question following from the first: and what is it - the loser?

Personally to me managed to find only two possible answers to this question. The first: the loser is the person who reached less, than others. And the second: the loser is a person to whom the destiny refuses to help. In sense, he is not lucky - and all here! Well, let`s understand.

How to be from Giordano Bruno? He is a lucky because the great scientist, or the loser because it was burned?

So, first option: the loser who feels like that because reached in the life less, than others. And here questions begin to be multiplied as... Well, generally, as all unloved pets. Than what “others“? How many percent of “others“ it is necessary to outride to be considered as “lucky man“? If only one is worse than me, I am already a lucky man? And if only one is better, I am still a loser? And on what, as a matter of fact, to a scale achievements are measured? Who reached bigger: the world champion in weightlifting who lifted the two weights, or the three-year-old kid who lifted a kilogram package of sugar? And how to compare, for example, Mstislav Rostropovich, Nikolay Valuyev, Bill Gates and Albert Einstein`s achievements? Which of them more abruptly? And for example, Giordano Bruno, he is a lucky man because the great scientist, or the loser because it was burned?

Amusing, generally, turns out piece - comparison. Whatever one may do, and all of us turn out losers. Because absolutely precisely there is someone who reached bigger. And absolutely precisely there is someone who reached as much... Stop. How to measure - that we will be? Generally, see above.

as a result leaves that the feeling of is not connected by the loser with real achievements and progress at all. By the way, you thought sometime that the word “success“ is formed from the verb “be in time“? That is the success is when the person managed to make that he gathered. And, so to feel like the successful person, it is necessary to know at least that it wants to make and as at most - to manage to make it. And all others of not success - from the evil whether you know.

Yes here and still complexity is: to distinguish what I want, what needs to be wanted. If you knew how many the rich famous and, it seems, by all criteria of successful people of a sizhivala in chairs at psychotherapists, psychologists and psychoanalysts... What needs to be wanted, they reached - only somehow pleasure in life a little. Here to you and all success.

So remains at us one option of not luck - that which about absence of luck and intrigues of destiny. And here - that just came it is a high time to remember about that metaphor with a carpet.

Deliver to

yourself to the place of destiny which weaves this notorious carpet. You have the plan, and all of you try the threads which are available at your disposal in a desired pattern to lay. One some thread rebelled and does not wish to take the place appropriate to it in any way. All the time a thread is torn - the dissident to settle in some such flourish which destroys all harmony planned by you at all. And you is patient - everything is more useless - to destiny to become angry about unreasonable people - try to return an oslushnitsa there where it surely has to decorate a carpet. And time to it prevented to spoil beauty, and another, and the third... Yes when she will calm down - that?

A replace the point of view now and imagine yourself that disobedient thread. How you will perceive efforts of destiny to return you on the way true? It is correct how the most real footboards. Both you will become angry, and you will take offense - you not on the cards, it is possible for you. And surely it is necessary to feel the loser. Or unlucky person. Generally, person excessively unlucky. The destiny does not help you, and builds continuous intrigues!

A destiny - that actually highly sits, far looks, and she, it seems, precisely knows what is expensive in lives - yours and what - absolutely on the contrary. She very much tries to prompt to you: it is not necessary to go there, will not be good. It is free to you its hints not to listen!

Probably, someone will be indignant: and how persistence? And what to do with the fact that the road will be mastered by going? Well, every time how something is impossible to decide that to destiny it “something“ is objectionable, and from the intentions to refuse immediately?

Well, why. At all not. You remember that the destiny from our weaver`s metaphor treats human initiatives very favourably. She will look at some thread which seeks to lay out the pattern on a carpet, will estimate how everything will look finally, or perhaps and nothing? Perhaps so it will even be better? Also will graciously change the initial plan - with gratitude to human creative thought.

you will tell

: all this, of course, is beautiful, and to do - the fact that?! Here what specifically to do not to be - or not to feel - the unlucky person?

A the answer, by the way, same - for both interpretation of the word “loser“. If it is about the loser in comparison with someone, then it makes sense to remember once and for all: all of us are losers. And everything that we can - it is very much to try to manage to make what we actually want. However, for a start it is necessary to apply many forces to understand what we actually want. Whether also we want it or someone wants it from us, it needs to be wanted etc.

A if to be a loser - means to you to be “in disgrace“ at destiny, so and here the same! If the destiny created us such what we are, so in the best way we are suitable for that role in a carpet of life which the destiny to us planned. It was necessary only to understand what we actually want, excuse for persuasive repetition...