Rus Articles Journal

The story of the coward or As I waited unexpected

Speak: if you want to make laugh God, tell him about the plans. In the life I planned everything. I did not want the child till 27 years, and to me there were 22. Work, career was the first purpose. I already began to climb a career ladder when one morning in a bathroom I saw on the test which I decided to make for interest, two strips slowly. It is a shame to write, but the first thought was: “No, I do not want, only not it, I do not love children, I do not want to be what burdened“. Then I sobbed all day: houses, at work; on a shoulder at the husband, in a vest of the girlfriend. Sobbed all days off, made still a lot of tests. At last, on Monday on ultrasonography confirmed: pregnancy 4 weeks. Sobbed in phone tube to mother, a svekrovka, the husband: “I do not want!“ All asked: “Give birth, everything will be good how you can speak so?“ And I had one thought: abortion! As terribly it is also a shame to remember. Then I got used to this thought, began to get used, gave in to arrangements of the husband and the family. Solved - I give birth.

Probably, it was to me in punishment for my thoughts: I began toxicosis. My God, as it is awful. I could not eat, sleep, work, live! The husband two times called “ambulance“, but it than could not help, ran on drugstores, in a maternity welfare unit. Tore me every 20 minutes. When on the term of 12 weeks I began to weigh 45 kg at roste162 cm, could not talk already, only cried, the husband called “ambulance“ and demanded: “Carry to hospital!“

I was In hospital 2 weeks. My toxicosis proceeded till 18 weeks, then it became only morning. Further other indisposition began: I choked, turned the head, there was a desire to lie in a bed the whole day, but I, the true workaholic, went for work. Now I am sorry about it. Then I got sick with a SARS.

In 22 weeks we learned that we have a son! I nearly began to cry when I saw it on the monitor screen.

It became magnificent

when I went to the decree in 28 weeks. Could not wait for it: at work I was already especially not necessary, all got used to work without me, did not give work, I missed. The decree dropped out for the spring: I walked, slept, went to gymnastics. In general led active lifestyle, tried to go more. I ate much, recovered on 18 kg. I well felt before the childbirth:“ flew“, to me it was perfect not hard. My council: you go to gymnastics - you will get rid of many problems. And still I was very much supported by my beloved husband, my parents and the husband`s parents.

Went 41 weeks old, and I did not give rise. There arrived my mother and already hurried. Every day I received SMS: “Did not give rise?“. On Friday June 26 I went for planned inclusion in a maternity welfare unit with mother. Made KTG, the kid badly moved, the doctor sent to maternity hospital to consultation. Arrived. Made KTG. Badly. Sent for ultrasonography. Heard surprised: “Oho - go, anything to“. Heart went to heels, in the head rushed: “What with my son?“ It turned out - a large fruit, about 4300 gr. The doctor told:“ If for days off you do not give rise, on Monday morning with things urgently to us“. There was no wish to go to hospital therefore very much wished to give rise during the week-end.

Ya - the coward. I very much am afraid of physical pain. I very much was afraid to give birth. Therefore re-read all literature on this subject, all stories about childbirth on our website. Also knew about childbirth as it seemed to me, all. Every day read one and too. Got used to thought. Complained everything surrounding at the own risk. But mentally I could not present myself in labor. And it turned out.

in the Morning on Saturday at me waters began to depart, mother and the husband awfully worried, mothers-in-law called, all began to pray. Strange, there are no fights and. Arrived to maternity hospital. Said goodbye to mother and the husband. Changed clothes in “reception“ in a dressing gown. Everything fell from hands. Nurses were not criminal. I was issued, measured a basin, set a heap of questions. There are no fights. The doctor came to look at me on a chair. When she watched me, I nearly died - it was sick. I looked around: on maternity chairs, on tools, on orange oilcloths, on a bucket with the inscription “afterbirths“, in the head rushed: “Why I in it was got involved?“ Nearly fainted. Told: “Fruit big. The neck is not ready, waters departed. Lie, wait. You will not give rise, on Monday the manager will solve“. I lie one, fights began, but it is tolerant. Thought, it as at monthly, but it turned out that not absolutely so. In turn the husband, the mother-in-law, mother call. Bothers. Transfer to pathology. Fights are more often, stronger, about me forgot. At night when bothered to suffer when neigbours peacefully snuffled, and I suffered from pain in each 3, 5, 7 min., endlessly went along corridors and to a toilet, hoping that the uterus will so quicker open, I asked the sleeping doctor to look at me. I was ready that I will be told: “Yes you give rise now, full disclosure“. But heard:“ The uterus is oak, opening is less than 1 cm. “My God, make to me Caesarian.

So there passed night, I did not close eyes, endlessly did KTG. Put pricks and a dropper. There is no effect. The doctor came, I did not see her before. Looked. In total as usual. Her words were balm on heart:“ If to 16. 00 nothing will change, by the evening we will do Caesarian“. Went to do KTG. When nurses saw results, began to be whispered. I sat in chamber, the sonny moved, all called, did not take the call. Was tired. I pay. Fight. The nurse came: plans changed, bad KTG, urgent Caesarian, the child has an oxygen starvation. Made an enema - unpleasantly. Two hours waited for operation. During this time to maternity hospital there arrived mother and the husband, mother has tears, she was calmed by doctors. In maternity hospital the mother-in-law all night long called, too cries. Though the husband does not cry. So there passed days. The nurse came running. Went to the operating room. Completely undressed. All doctors very good, calmed. Put a dropper, measured pressure, drew something on a back, made epiduralny anesthesia - it is not sick at all.“ Lay down quicker until legs were disconnected“. Inserted a catheter. Veiled all body up to a breast. Smeared with iodine. Doctors joke, do compliments. Further, as in fog. I feel nothing, and operation already began. Press on a stomach, the table strongly shakes. So push out the kid. I hear: “Anything to, what athlete!“ Shout. Carry the kid. My God, it not so awful, such tolstenky cheeks... And sponges red! 4200 gr. and 55 cm, 9/10 on a scale Apgar. Brought to kiss. Carried away. Further I understood nothing: as cleaned, sewed up. Generally, everything passed remarkably. Called the husband, he began to cry, very much worried. Pleased grandmothers and grandfathers.

Then it was very heavy

: everything hurt to the neck, gases did not depart, could not go, stuck many pricks, put droppers. And all this florets, in comparison with the fact that did not bring me the child. 4 days. Bad analyses. Depression. I cried every minute, sat in a nursery, it was so a pity for my sonny. All children with mothers, and it lies here, to nobody necessary. “The sonny, I very much love you, recover. Forgive me for everything. If to you it is bad, let better everything will pass to me!“ And he such patient, never cries, and from it heart hurts stronger.

Everything ended with

well, we were written out in 5 days, analyses were normalized. To happiness there was no limit.

gave rise to

Ya on June 28, 2009. Now my son Kiryushe is 2 months old, I apologize every day at it that thought of abortion. It - our happiness, pride, our Bead, Pelmeshka, Puzyrechek, Carrot! These are some gentle words which we call it. The sonny grow healthy and clever, be happy, we live only for the sake of you. And still I have a remarkable husband, parents, the mother-in-law and the father-in-law. They so supported me and support. And doctors, nurses got to me very good, I did not hear any roughnesses. Unless I am not a happy person? “My God, thank you for everything!“ - I fall asleep with this thought.