“In fixed day, in fixed hour.“, or Why we would not love PTA meetings of
“I at all never saw off them!“ - one mother of quite successful daughter who graduated school about five years ago told.
“It is waste of time! You mill the wind, and then you leave with a headache!“ - so the honored teacher having twenty-year length of service and who let out not one class spoke.
were Told by them about same. About PTA meetings. And yes the truth, maybe, is a past remnant? How meetings party, production, trade-union? It is more and more and around speak to a thicket about individual work with children, creative approach to their training and education. There are no words, personal meeting of the teacher and parent yields sometimes unusual result by efficiency. But it in that case, so far as concerns a specific problem of the specific child. And if all class was not on a physics lesson? And if on a party in school sixth-graders brought a vodka bottle, and everyone at least pomochit lips? And if it is necessary to do repair? And if on a nose a graduation party? Whatever one may do and not to do without the general collecting. Another thing is that in traditions of our school not of meeting “occasionally“ or “as necessary“, and obligatory, time in two - three months, according to the schedule approved by the director or the board of trustees.Meticulous fans of school statistics counted
how many times the pupil will hear a call on a lesson, what is the time will spend for changes how many pies will eat in buffet how many steps will be used up in 10 years of circulation on them. It is known that parents of the school student have to visit for the same time about 50 meetings at which will hold about 100 hours of the life. It is a lot of or a little? An essence not in that. The problem of PTA meeting is not a problem of time, but a problem of psychological discomfort which its participants face. The rare parent, as well as the rare teacher, will tell that mutual meetings - for them a holiday. Both that and others go for meeting as on obligatory, but very undesirable action. Why? Most likely, because do not find among themselves a common language. At PTA meeting mutual misunderstanding most often reigns. The average teacher is inclined in all troubles to blame parents, average parents - teachers, from - for it traditional meetings also turn into dismantling and charges instead of becoming the place of discussion of common problems and ways of their permission.
of Whom is seen before himself by the class teacher who collected in a native office of representatives of the senior generation of the pupils? Of course, for 90% it will be mothers that is absolutely normal. In our society the concept “parent“ is identical to the word - “mother“, women really are engaged in education and it is more convenient to teacher to deal with similar. It is possible if at school more men worked as it was in pre-revolutionary Russia, fathers would go to meetings. For now PTA meetings at mass school remind women`s council at which meetings there are bright types.
of “Pokazushnika“ . They can be divided into two categories. The first - the wives of “new Russians“ dressed in the furs decorated with diamonds, which came to a class only behind showing the level of the welfare. Having gracefully attached on a student`s chair, such mother will indulgently estimate “prikid“ teachers with a salary at ten thousand rubles and, polishing nails, will pretend also indulgently that she listens to her speeches. The second category - the intellectuals liking to flash a clever question, the caustic comment which will nonplus Marya Ivanovna as easily as the estimated analysis of the “new Russian“ mother. Intellectuals studied all laws, read newspapers, consult with experts, and always best of all know how as who has to teach.
of “Galochnika“ try not to shine and not to lean out, they just come to the meeting that “to put a tick“, to be noted. They are not concerned at all what is discussed, and what it is told about even if the behavior or progress of their native child is discussed. Most often fathers whom wives for any of several reasons send instead of themselves are “galochnik“. Then, demanding from them the report, they are convinced that they made an inexcusable mistake: the father just is not able even to describe occurring. Happened also such cases when fathers confused offices and two hours carried out with parents of other class, but it did not influence the end result in any way. At meeting was? Was. And the rest is unimportant.“Deputies“ are similar
to “galochnik“ the fact that a main goal of those who sent them, - to be noted. But “deputies“ will have to give then the exact and detailed description of everything that was at meeting, up to color of a matematichka suit and features of a make-up of “Englishwoman“, not to mention those words which were told about vospituyemy. Elder sisters, rare copies of active fathers, aunts, some grandmothers and governesses usually treat this group. Without trusting memory, they keep detailed record of the events and always very attentively listen and even more attentively look. However it does not mean at all that all of them correctly understand and will be able to inform of an essence to sent them to meeting of mothers, without having interpreted anything depending on the age and I.Q.
“Parents“ are those who come to the meeting to learn the truth, having compared what is told by the child, with what is told by the teacher.“ Parents“ are always adequate, are not inclined to accuse anybody of anything, they are ready to cooperation and are the first assistants for the class teacher. They treat business of education and education seriously, but is sober, without creating illusions. They accurately realize that purpose which was set before themselves, and that responsibility which on them lies. It is a pity only that at meeting it is not much true parents.
“Phantoms“ do not go to meetings in general, considering it unnecessary this action is absolute. In each class among parents there is always at least one “phantom“ which it is simply impossible to meet. As a rule, some “phantoms“ materialize only at a graduation party, but is also such who forever goes to a deaf underground, hiding both a face, and a voice.
But PTA meeting - process bilateral. The teacher looks at mothers, mothers on teachers who represent various types too.
“Vas - Vas“ . We will carry the class teachers who are coquetting and making advances to parents to this group. Many mothers are their good acquaintances thanks to whom huge opportunities open: from high-quality service in district clinic to the ticket for a fashionable concert or a performance. For “Vas - Vasya“ PTA meeting - an opportunity to solve the personal problems therefore it is the only teacher`s category which loves meetings, and sometimes and will organize them specially - on the eve of March 8, own birthday, in the middle of repair in the apartment.
“Man of moods“ can bawl at meeting such out to attendees that will not seem a little. And can be warm and fuzzy, tender and good-natured, understanding and forgiving. At it everything depends on mood, and it cannot master the emotions neither before children, nor before adults. Going on a meeting with “man of moods“, never you know what to wait for therefore such meetings are tried to be avoided.
“Disturbing“ twists in hands a handkerchief or a crib in which periodically looks not to get off. It are looked down, on temples sweat streams, the face is covered with red spots or is in a deathlike way pale. Any parental question breaks more or less smooth course of its monologue and for a long time unsettles therefore the knowing people prefer not to ask questions. “Disturbing“ never speaks anything to the point, does not resolve any issues, and its meetings come to an end before others, turning into mutual torture.“ “ Young specialists and class teachers are disturbing - the men who are lost at a stare of ten mothers who ventured to visit this cool Mero? acceptance.by
“Authority“ it is not lost in any situation. A voice at “authority“ loud, intonations imperious, a severe look. Such class teachers call parents by last name as they of children, and demand from them absolute submission, as from children. Questions to “authorities“ are not asked too because it is terrible. Each parent at such meeting feels like the school student again and is afraid to receive “two“. It is necessary to go to a meeting with such class teacher, and you will come - knees shiver.“ The authority“, allegedly for the benefit of children, is capable to demand from parents all: repair of an office, new equipment, visual aids, expensive excursions - mothers on everything will give money if only to avoid condemnation. Often meetings at such “cool mothers“ begin with a zachteniye of the list of debtors, and come to an end - the list poor or at fault. The order can change, an essence - never.
“Democrats“ , unlike “authorities“, seldom abuse somebody. Their principle - permissiveness - extends also to adults (parents and colleagues), and to children. They usually do not prepare for meeting what to speak - do not know about therefore they tell everything at the same time and about anything. The broken mathematics lesson can be a subject of discussion also, and but? Wai Petya Ivanov`s hairdress, and both will not be condemned. The few go to meetings to “democrats“, generally same “democrats“ or fans to prattle. “Democrat“ is sure that in his class there are no problems, actually them it appears always quite a lot, and once there is an explosion, but its consequences rake others, a bowl of all parents.
“Class teacher“ are conducted by meeting quietly and thoughtfully, he makes its plan in advance, but speaks fluently, without using preliminary records. It is always aware of all affairs of a class in general and each pupil separately. He never discusses with parents of a mark and behavior of their children in the presence of other parents, preferring individual conversations. He submits discussion of global problems for meeting and always itself offers ways of an exit from the deadlock, having listened previously to opinion of a parental asset. He always looks for a reasonable compromise, understanding that the teacher and parents do everything - common cause and not dolzh? ny to resist each other. It accepts all and at least externally tries to show that all pupils are equally dear to it. It avoids parental gifts and other pleasant encouragement and if gives in to a temptation, then nobody knows about it. He confusedly speaks about need of the next monetary contribution to protection or on repair. It is modest, courteous and benevolent. To it go for meeting with pleasure and with hope. You such know?
Parents and class teachers are brought together in one room not by someone`s whim or the paragraph of the school charter, not a whim of the director or minister. A point of suppression of their interests, professional or personal, - the child, and neither those, nor others have no right to forget about it. And for the sake of the child, his success and rest, it is possible to offer much. Therefore you should not look for guilty, it is better to accept a situation in the form in which it developed, and together, amicably and in coordination to try to break an impasse. That PTA meeting was not torture for both parties, and not the sin to remember the following became the tool, important and useful to all, in hard business of education of children.all - are various
of the Role of mother and the teacher. Mother infinitely loves the child whatever he was the red or curly brunette, the poor student or the winner of the most different competitions and Olympic Games, the clumsy fatty or the slender athlete. Mother loves not for success, and by the right of the birth. And here for the teacher all are equal before the law, the teacher can love only own children, but not love own enemies. And only.
of Mother have no right to demand from the teacher of love to the child. Eventually, teacher too person: someone causes sympathy, and someone is not present. Mother can count on acceptance, on understanding. And ability to accept and understand is already degree of teacher`s professionalism.to
the Help is necessary to both mothers, and class teachers, so offer it each other. Do not wait from someone for the ready recipe - each child is individual, so, also approach to it is individual. Look for this approach together.
Not all of “Marya Ivanovna“ - “self-confident silly women“, the same as not all mothers - “silly brood hens“. Go for meeting, having inspired in themselves that you are waited by a meeting with clever people, adherents.Acceptance is reached by
not through expensive gifts, and through original attention and respect for the personality. Show them on the relation to each other, and the tension of meeting will be relieved at once.
Communication of parents with teachers and schoolmates of children should not be limited only to planned schedules according to the schedule of the principal. Mother who is looking for contact with the class teacher to talk about the child, communicating with other mothers to adopt their parental experience, familiar with schoolmates of the native child to penetrate into their interests, will always reach bigger, than that which considers that time “money pays someone“, so let it and is responsible for everything.Meeting of parents not necessarily has to take place
in a stuffy class and at the initiative of the form-master. Spend it at somebody at home behind a cup of tea, or in the wood on a clearing, or in the bus while your children go to circus or to excursion. Yes you never know places where the people interested in common cause gather?
U of everyone the strangenesses are: both at the child, and at his mother, and at his teacher. So same just and fine! We should not be similar at each other as two blank writing-book pages.
From the book “School overloads. How to help the child“