After the delivery
the doctor along with other standard recommendations orders sex to the young mothers who are Discharged from maternity hospital at least 6 - week sexual rest... Recommendations recommendations, but in life at all everything develops differently, each woman has problems: someone “burns with desire“ nearly in the first month after the delivery, and and in half a year it is even terrible to someone to think of renewal of the sexual relations. Certainly, on how there are sexual relations of spouses after the delivery, the set of factors influences: both the course of childbirth, existence of any complications, and the general health of the woman and child, and what were the relations of partners to and during pregnancy...I Want to share
with readers of the magazine some cases from the practice. Someone, probably, will be surprised to what problems my patients faced, and someone will find a painfully familiar situation and with simplification will be convinced that its own problems are not single, are not decided, they are rather typical, and the most important - are solvable...
Nastya, the thin graduate student of MSU, after the son`s birth:
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the Doctor, the husband will not understand me! Why to wait so much? We and during pregnancy sinned with it... At me everything is normal, and it is enough milk. Really sex - it is harmful?
In the first years of work that sexual abstinence after the delivery - guarantee of health of the woman. Especially as these hygienic principles were considered checked not by one generation of doctors: at the end of the last century the German professor K. E. Bock in “The book about the healthy and sick person“ noted that “dietary errors, tedious tasks, too early return to public life, strong disorders, etc. can do after the delivery in the first six weeks big harm, the matrimonial relations should not be renewed till the end of the eighth week“.- gynecologists too, it seems, everything is faithful to
From the point of view of current obstetricians: the uterus reaches the former sizes and her mucous membrane is completely restored only by the end 6 - y weeks after the delivery therefore it is considered that it is necessary to abstain from the sexual intercourses for prevention of an inflammation of a uterus and other complications.
Of course, for years of work I faced different cases, there were among my patients also women who were perfectly feeling after the delivery and renewing the sexual relations before the put 6 weeks, but before mostly given rise women there were absolutely other problems: the statistics demonstrates that more than 40% of women experience difficulties with sex three months later after the delivery and about 18% face problems such within a year. These difficulties with a condition of genitals after the delivery, are connected by loss of sexual appeal, depression, fatigue...
, note fear of sexual contact . Yes, fear of pain and concern about an integrity of seams in a vagina.
Inna, manager of the large company, mother of the three-months baby:
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After the delivery was feeling that if the husband touches me, I will kill him: the vagina was sewn up from all directions because I did not listen to doctors, shouted, did not control itself; Irinka was nearly four kilograms, I strongly tore, the crotch was cut, then still it became clear that the placenta does not separate. . Two months only to lie or stand, smear seams with potassium permanganate... about what sex there could be a conversation! So many forces were taken away by the child!. When I understood that the husband is already ready “to go to the party“, we renewed “the bed relations“. I very much was afraid. Fortunately, everything managed, it was even pleasant. But then we long - long after this once only kissed and ironed each other. The husband does not even stammer at the second child - he feels sorry for me...
B, but it is very sensitive to pressure, especially at an entrance to a vagina and in a crotch. It is very sensitive to a touch, up to pain, area of seams. At first after the delivery the woman often feels some fear at the sexual intercourse and unconsciously can show resistance to penetration therefore it is necessary to try to relax as much as possible at sexual intercourse, to use poses “the woman from above“ or “face to face“ - it is so possible to control the movements and to avoid pain.the Lack of estrogen which tests the woman`s organism during the postnatal period can result
in dryness of a vagina, in this case it is desirable to apply artificial humidifiers of mucous.
Yana, the vigorous conductress of own enterprise and mother of two sons - stair-steppers: I do not represent
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Ya how women to whom they imposed seams after the delivery make love! My husband took all possible precautionary measures when we decided to be engaged in it in two months after the delivery: and left the child with mother, and caressed long, and, as a result, it was necessary to spend half-banks of cream not to hurt me - in a vagina it was absolutely dry. However, in a month everything was normal. By the way, after the second childbirth it was much simpler and more pleasant to return to execution of a conjugal duty, but there was other problem - became too volume, the husband was almost lost...
to extension of muscles of a vagina, but can become the reason of some flabbiness of muscles, problems with an urination, especially if there was an epiziotomiya (a crotch section). That there was no feeling that “everything became huge“, it is necessary to carry out from the very first days after the delivery special exercises for strengthening of muscles of a pelvic bottom and a vagina, and before restoration of a muscular tone at occupations by love it is worth preferring positions in which hips of the woman are densely closed that promotes dense compression of a penis and strengthening of its stimulation. >
After Cesarean section to the woman it is psychologically simpler to p to make love: there is no child of a vagina stretched by passing, there are no gaps and hems, but, it appears, and in this case too there are problems.Alyn`s
, the psychologist, to the son is one and a half years old:
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thought Of real need of the person for satisfaction of a sexual inclination after became mother. Almost all pregnancy “it“ it was tabooed. The husband laughed that will delete days after the delivery within six weeks. After Cesarean section that “to be in shape“, I began to do gymnastics in maternity hospital, but understood at home that I have one physiological requirement - to sleep. When our son was two months old, in the house there was a nurse, but still, having got to a bed, we quickly fell asleep. Later still months five, once we remembered that there is a sex. Fortunately, problems were not - everything was the same as in the very first time...
Exhaustion , probably, the main factor which is beating off sexual to appetite of young mothers.
Natalya, “freelancer“, mother 7 - the monthly daughter, echoes Alina:
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Till Ksenia`s birth seemed to me that at me forces will be enough for everything, and the proposal of mother to live with me and to help I rejected. But by the evening I am ready to drop, I am simply happy that the husband helps to bath the child and does not try to wake me. Sometimes it does not have enough patience simply to fall asleep nearby, and then I wake up already from flow of pleasant feelings and his sighs of simplification...
Sometimes, that it is difficult for woman to renew sex life as after all peripetias of pregnancy and childbirth she begins to feel absolutely as other, updated. She has other feelings to the people surrounding it, and all her thoughts is occupied by the child . It is so predetermined by the nature: other cub is not necessary while it needs leaving, so, the sexual inclination for extension of a sort is not required.
Svetlana, mother 8 - monthly Maxim: As we are protected by
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from pregnancy?! Just we have no sex. It seems to me that the small child gives the mass of any feelings. I more want nothing and nothing is necessary.
Quite often women complain of “impossibility to be disconnected from cares“. And only when the child grew up, does not need continuous supervision and began to sleep separately, they have a chance to endure one more honeymoon.
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Ya I cannot but react to the child therefore sex for me is problematic: it is necessary to concentrate completely on the man, and it is impossible - the head is directed only towards the child. What there can be caress here?
In nine months as a whole with the child, got used to a role of the defender and keeper, learned to perceive a condition of the child as own. And weight of responsibility for the child blocks all other emotions. Sometimes the woman feels belonging only to the child. It seems to it that its condition of “eternal fear for the child“ is not interesting to the husband and relatives at all; the feeling of loneliness, isolation which can develop into a depression is so formed (by the way, lack of interest in sex time happens a symptom of a postnatal depression).
Maria, one-year-old Sasha`s mother, housewife:
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Ya was afraid to distract for a minute from supervision over the child: suddenly something happens to it! Washing, cooking and other house efforts were undertaken by my mother. I only fed, swaddled, walked with the child. At the night Sanka woke up each three hours and ate, will not fall asleep yet. The husband during the day absorbed by the business took offense at me for the fact that I am busy all the time by the child and I do not pay it so much attention how many earlier. That I do not allow it even to kiss me: suddenly the kid will feel that I not with him, and with the husband...
Anatoly, Maria`s husband, adds:
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Life turned into continuous care of the child. And I first could not understand all changes: I had a temperamental wife, supersexual during pregnancy, and now it completely belongs only to the son! Somehow time Masha even told that at me “on mind only one“, and I... tried to understand it, began to play with the son, to go in together with the wife and the son for gymnastics, and our relations were gradually restored, and sex became just another, less mad and more gentle, perhaps...
Sometimes should be heard from young parents that their own children “in every way“ distract them from each other : Albina, teacher:
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Ya I think that the child feels as some “sixth sense“ amorous fluids in a bedroom and every time as soon as there is a desire “to pobarakhtatsya“ lifts shout. We consider that it is caused by absence in the child of desire to share us with brothers - sisters because, in his opinion, sex between parents pursues only one aim - its birth, unique, and more intimate relations are not necessary...
And still if your love actions in the first months after the delivery also do not include the sexual intercourses, try to maintain physical love, it is so easy “to switch“ completely to the child, having excluded each other from the sphere of the interests. You should not poison the family relations with statements like “I drag on myself all freight of cares of the child, and I will solve, we need sex or not“. You should not refuse intimate relations in connection with the unresolved family conflicts or to refuse to the spouse proximity because “he does not do something as I want, and did not go for a walk with the child“.Ning`s
expected a baby against a torrid love affair of the husband with the secretary:
|seemed to me that I am a hindrance to his future happiness and it returned only because she did not want to give birth to it to the child. But Alexey took away us with the son from maternity hospital with joyful eyes, protected me from cares - efforts (the nurse, chamber), showered with gifts, but it was not succeeded to renew the sexual relations even after the put eight weeks. When between us there are too many half-words, I cannot just enter intimate relationship with the husband. It is not revenge, I very much suffer from - for it...|
If at you “the desire was gone“, remind yourself what concerning can be a sex, causing the best episodes of your matrimonial life in memory. Find beautiful linen in a case, try “to hand over for one evening the child“ to the grandmother or the nurse or ask the husband to come a bit earlier and to help you, create an intimate situation, appoint “meeting“ to the husband, and, above all, you remember that sex is not service to the partner, and the fact that it is necessary for both of you, and be adjusted on taking from it only positive emotions.
Yana, with laughter:
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All my attempts to put on walk with sons jeans were not crowned with success. The husband consoled that at last at me appeared notable back part of a body, and on my destructions on the fact that I am suitable only bras for feeding, philosophically told that the child will be full, and he is happy - his dream of “the real Russian beauty“ came true.
after the delivery unattractive from - for the increased breast, the smoothed-out waist... Provide to your partner to decide as far as you are attractive and if he is eager for you, so in vain you represent yourself only “the child`s wet nurse“ and “the keeper of family property in the form of breast milk“.
Armand, father of two charming daughters:
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U we were a big problem with acquisition by posterity, and Lina had to accept long hormonal preparations for preparation for “fertilization in a test tube“, then - again a handful of tablets for pregnancy maintenance. After the delivery we had “a fight for the dairy rivers“ - little girls were born for a month before term. As a result of the Link recovered kilograms on twenty. And constantly asks me how I can it, such here fatty to want? I do not know itself, but very much I want! It is such womanly, such warm and lovely... 0na gave birth to me to children, and I want it even more, than earlier.
Of course, it is not necessary to be consoled in the fact that it is possible to do nothing that the husband “wanted the child, here let tests to me, such magnificent, the same tender feelings“. It is necessary to remember that your present figure - a side effect of the huge made business, the phenomenon, perhaps, inevitable, but - temporary. Try to find time for gymnastics, not to be fond of sweet, and gradually your seductive forms will be outlined again.
But rather large number of women do not perceive sex after the delivery as an excessive duty. And, probably, then it is worth forgetting about waist volume, about reaction of the child to appearance of the possible rival, to accept the help of relatives and it is obligatory to warn the husband where and that hurts you that it out of ignorance did not hurt you. After the child`s birth your matrimonial relations it was filled with new contents, but it does not cancel and does not replace what was earlier. All difficulties arising now in your relations are surmountable, and you with the husband still should have more than once that highest degree of proximity, faith, love which is given to people by sex...