My angel - the keeper of
Time went, to me already was 30, and I had no family - either the husband, or the child. Having lived with the common-law husband nearly 8 years, we could not give birth to the child - it was impossible. And as self-evident, we left. The thought that I will never have children, killed me: it was impossible to look at girlfriends with children, at mummies walking with carriages, it simply pressed and slowly broke me. As that in the evening I and two of my friends decided to descend to walk on the street. I will tell you, it was very cold, and there was a blizzard. We decided to descend to a new monument which was established in the gardens recently. A monument to a young family - the pregnant girl and her promised, they touch with hands, as if showing that they together also crossed the lives, it holds apple - too symbolically... To a monument there go newlyweds to the wedding day and lay flowers. There is a belief that, having rubbed apple, it is possible to marry, and having rubbed a tummy - to conceive the kid. We, without hesitation, approached and in turn began to rub... Who that... I rubbed a tummy and about myself dreamed - I want the kid! About apple even the thought was not... Though girlfriends, being cleverer, probably, rubbed an apple. In the same evening I got acquainted with the young man with whom then we began to live together, and in 2 months I felt that in an organism something occurs... At once the thought flashed - she is pregnant!!
How many times I felt it, but it is never so obvious, my friend ran in a drugstore behind the test. Evening, test and... One strip. My hopes once again failed... The dream was scattered, and in the morning he suggested me to make the test again, without having been too lazy to descend once again in a drugstore. And oh, a miracle - two strips!! Two!! During that instant at me in the head flew by so much, and so much I worried - not to tell... I began to cry, and it, having frightened, asked: “What? Again one?““Is not present
!“ Tishina and smile.“ And why you cry? Same it is healthy! We will have a kid! And he will be the champion in sambo! “-“ I with happiness!“
So we began to prepare for the birth of the kid and for a wedding. In couple of days he went to the fight championship, and I stayed at home to wait for it and was registered. The doctor wrote term 2 - 3 weeks and told to come in a month, having instructed with me that it is impossible to wear heels and took out to me the diagnosis - “starorodyashchy“. To me then already was 31 years. In one day I got on preservation to maternity hospital № 2 in 1 gynecology. I called “ambulance“ and told, crying in a tube that I began bleeding. I went to hospital and cried in a tube cellular to the girlfriend: “At me again all is bad“... And here the first ultrasonography, and the doctor who snuffled as a hedgehog and in my attempt to look at the screen grumbled: “Turn away!“ In hands the card was not given also an expectation couple of hours... And here the doctor with round:“ You have a pregnancy 3 weeks and 4 days“. I cried with happiness and for fear again that I can not keep the kid... But I kept it, and in two weeks I was written out home.
A in a month of the relation with future husband deteriorated, we left... And my kid was left without father, since that moment the father became an Author. He tried to explain to me that to the child without father it will be bad that it is wrong, and suggested me to make abortion, but I could not even allow thought of it. Also put the fat end.
Then in a month I got on preservation again, the tone appeared, and now laid down already in maternity hospital № 1 by agreement of my friend. The tummy grew, I dreamed how I will bathe it, to feed, dress up and learn to speak “ma - ma“. I was sure that it is the son and, having looked on term in the Calendar, not reflecting, chose a name - Matvei. Ultrasonography, the doctor confirmed - on the person all signs of a man`s structure. My father and mother supported me and were in the seventh heaven that will become, at last, the grandmother and the grandfather, the father already represented how he with Matvei will go on fishing, and mother - as with it to walk in park.
I here I dream a dream. I go down the street with the daughter, her year 4 or 5, she such beautiful, with two braids long, hair of color as at me, saw each hyphen of her face. And suddenly she ran behind a ball and the car across. I thought, my heart stopped, everything in a breast stood, I want to shout, stop it, but I cannot utter words, the earth leaves from under legs. And the simplification - managed. So there was a wish to spank her, but it, understanding it, runs and hides for unclear from where the undertaken my mother and the godmother. Also not “mother“, but Tanya calls me, for some reason. Having woken up, I called mother and told a dream.here control ultrasonography in the perinatal center in 24 weeks, all surely pass
I through it, exactly there it is possible to learn how the child develops as it is difficult and what floor at it for an additional fee. Everything is excellent - what pleasure, but not to define a sex, the kid turned a bottom, it was necessary to take a walk, then I was asked:
- Mummy for whom you wait?
- the Champion! - without doubting, I answered.- Is not present
, you have a girl!
- Perhaps you were mistaken?- Is not present
! Believe my experience, this is the girl and it is put well, all fine, correct, is not present pathologies! Even do not doubt and prepare rozovenky.
Ya went down the street and cried, I was sure that it is the son... Mother with the father consoled, said that it is unimportant, and that the main thing that the baby is healthy. At heart I was sure that doctors were mistaken, happens so... On all signs it has to be Matvei! Did not slow down punishment for these tears, the kid ceased to move, already whole day I did not feel it, I ran in paid clinic on ultrasonography again, but already with mother. Looked together... The limit of pleasure my and mother`s was not borders, the kid lived and moved, heart fought, and it was the girl. It showed the palms in the screen. The doctor abused me that so it is impossible to behave that the child feels everything and therefore became more silent to behave. And still made the diagnosis “the only artery of an umbilical cord“. And it means that the child eats not through two arteries, and through one, and it threatens with a hypoxia.
Me was transferred to a pregnancy not incubation office where other doctor began to observe me, more skilled and knowing the business. I constantly made tests, went very often to ultrasonography that is recommended in connection with such diagnosis. Since that moment when I saw the baby on the monitor, I understood that I have to thank God for what he presented to me the child and not to torture destiny, giving preference to the boy, but not the girl, it is a particle me, and I waited for it for a long time and so stored it in myself. I understood why it turned a bottom, without wishing to show the floor. She was afraid to afflict me, was afraid that I can not give birth to her, she just was afraid! My lovely baby! As I am guilty to you for such behavior!
So, we began to wait and prepare for Aleksandra`s appearance - chose a name not for nothing man`s, the daughter had to be born without father and therefore has to be strong and manage to stand for itself and, eventually, I liked this name long ago.
Time went, and I periodically lay on preservation, and is pure for prevention and control, said that pregnancy develops well that the kid has enough food and through one artery. And here the last month came, remained very little before emergence of my small miracle. We with girls corresponded every day in a forum and discussed the dreams and preparation, told and shared impressions and photos of things for kids, wrote lists and collected packages in maternity hospital. By the time of childbirth I already managed to lie down also in regional maternity hospital, to pass full inspection and agreed about childbirth exactly there.
I the moment when at me began to ache a back here came and to pull in the bottom of a stomach, it were “trenik“. In a week I, as well as it is necessary in 37 weeks, went to the doctor for reception, but it did not appear on the place, the office was just closed. The registry explained that do not know where the doctor and when it is. I stood in confusion and did not know what to do. There was a Friday, and to the doctor again on reception it is possible only on Monday now. I decided that I will go in paid for ultrasonography again. And not for nothing: there I was told that at me the placenta exhausted the opportunities that at a fruit the hypoxia began and that urgently it is necessary to me it is direct to go to hospital because within 2 - 3 days I can give rise now. Having listened to my situation with the doctor, to me it is direct there wrote out the direction in maternity hospital, and I went for bags home. I was not lucky again: regional maternity hospital where I had an arrangement, closed on a washing, and I went to maternity hospital № 1.
. In an accident ward, having looked at my card and having seen the positive analysis on RV in 20 with something there weeks (then before blood sampling I nalopatsya fat), I began to be defined in an observation. I turned obstinate and told that I will not lay down there that the analysis was wrong and that I after it times 5 handed over it already again, and it was negative, but I did not begin to be listened and all the same put there, having promised that will understand and tomorrow morning will transfer to “pure“. But also in the morning, and in the evening me nobody translated anywhere and was going to translate: if got there, then you will not give rise to it yet. I lay in chamber with girls, one of whom was “lowered“ from above (an observation on the first floor, and maternity on 4) for the fact that at it lip spot got out, and the second coughed. At receipt the person on duty watched me on a chair so that posed me from pain, and then began to shake, I lifted pressure 140, I could not sit on a chair, held with a hand other hand. Then I was given some soothing tablets after which I fell asleep.the Next day passed
in thoughts and waiting when I am looked again by my doctor and when I am translated. The health seemed to me good, and I already thought that I will lie here long, it was on October 4, and term was on October 27 - 29, at my birthday. In an observation there was only plus - it was possible to leave and go for a walk freely on the street or in shop, than I also was engaged in the afternoon that it was not boring, weather allowed, there was heat. Next day, it was on October 5 - Sunday, Day of criminal investigation department and the Teachers` Day, I was called since morning of the girlfriend and congratulated me (my first education - pedagogical though I do not work in this sphere long ago). I talked to mother who together with the father went to dig potatoes, and in 12 - 00 brought a lunch.Tasty having eaten
except hospital Russian cabbage soup house, I laid down under a dropper and here suddenly felt that to my legs it became warm and that water flows from me... I understood - waters departed and hour X“ came “. How many times I imagined this moment! But here I became puzzled. And having remembered that today the doctor not the fact that I wanted works as the person on duty, asked girls to call the nurse - the midwife and burst out crying. I remembered at once how I refused to lay down to it in office on preservation, remembered stories of girls to which he was rude as it puts crosses on bottoms to “abortnitsa“ brilliant green during abortions so far they are deranged. Why I am not lucky so eternally! It became offensive for me.
the midwife Tatyana Aleksandrovna, the skilled woman Came, she works 30 years there, removed a dropper and began to console me:“ Do not cry! It skilled also does what others do not undertake“ And I could not calm down, the fear began to stick to my offense. I was led in a viewing office and put on a chair. There was a lot of water, much, even when the doctor came, he waited when it flows out everything, only then he could look, swearing on me that I relaxed. Then, having felt a neck on disclosure, he told that it does not like my neck, he asked Tatyana Aleksandrovna to bring a big lamp. It guarded me. Having looked at me, he told that all this is not pleasant to it and that the nachmed should call.
Me was sent to wash and get ready for childbirth. When I prepared, I put on a table the icon the Assistant in labor nearby and laid down on a table in patrimonial. Came nachmed and the doctor, he told it that, in his opinion, I have condylomas. What is it, I did not know, but I already got used that not everything is eternal at me as at people! She looked at me, frowned and left, and then I heard as they are whispered behind chamber, I heard how she told it:“ I think that it is not condylomas, and, probably, cancer“. I lay and already thought not of how I will give birth, and about that, why to me it. With whom there will be my baby when I die and why to me in general to give birth. Come got up in a throat. And weight in a breast.
came nachmed Again and began to shout at me from where I undertook on their head why she did not see me in pathology why they do not know me with the diagnosis the only artery of an umbilical cord and still something, but I did not hear it any more, in the head there was a rumble. And her words about cancer. Then it left, and I heard how she strongly shouts at midwifes, on nurses, all swore, and I lay on a table and did not know how to live further. Right there the midwife came and led me on ultrasonography, there it became clear that to my diagnosis in addition the baby was once rolled up in an umbilical cord. What at me, appears, cross the promised a basin, and I cannot most give birth. Got to me that I “got drunk“ besides - quite so it was expressed that is unclear that at me with a neck. And what nobody before nothing saw and observed. It besides that for all the pregnancy I 5 times lay in all maternity hospitals of the city on preservation. Then the anesthesiologist came and began to watch my back, he said to me how to be bent how to turn, and I did not understand, I already then thought nothing from everything fallen down at that moment me. He quietly explained to me that I cannot give birth, under the general anesthesia too that to me will be done spinal, and is urgent. The doctor appeared very good and kind, he calmed me and asked about bad not to think that if someone and saw something, then it does not mean that indeed.
I here I in the operating room, midwifes and nurses all are strained also on a platoon from a hysterics of a nachmed. Operation began. Delivered me on a breast a screen that I saw nothing, lamps lit up. Behind there is an anesthesiologist, talks to me on abstract subjects and irons me on the head. The doctor and nachmed broke to work. Everything is quiet, talk, joke. Nachmed asks the doctor what seam he will do me - vertical or horizontal. He answers that vertical. To me already all the same what it will be there, but she asks it to make cosmetics, and then asks me: “And you, Tatyana, want to give birth still?“ I, without reflecting, I answer: “Yes!“ They laugh and speak: “Only find the good guy next time. How you will call?“ - “Aleksandra!“ - “A beautiful name!“
Then the anesthesiologist warned me that now there will be a push similar to it, and it showed in a shoulder as it. Will get the child, it asked not to be frightened! I felt this push and heard shout. Thank God! Came true! She was transferred to the midwife with words: “What girl quick, described mother!“ Tatyana Aleksandrovna brought to me the daughter. It is such beautiful! White, not red and not morshchenny. At that moment I had such feeling of happiness, such pride and pleasure what not to express in words. I it waited for so many years, and here it! It before me! All agreed on opinion that it is my exact copy. I was overflowed by happiness.me brought to
In three hours it to feed, it such small, only 3 kg., it such defenseless and such beautiful! It - mine! Right there brought me a note from my godmother who congratulated me, she came to visit me, and got to the moment of my childbirth. In three days I was transferred to chamber, but the daughter was brought only to feed, I was after KS. The chamber in which I lay, awful, probably, was worse, than in a pre-trial detention center: colored brown walls, curtains on paper clips and two beds. Through a wall - patrimonial in which day and night someone gives birth and shouts. And still in the mornings, hours in 6, the strange aunt who takes away dirty diapers from a tank comes and so bryakat a cover that children wake up and cry. Still there was a nurse who, expiring snivels and obviously expressing that she strongly is ill, with a temperature washed the floor. When I made it the remark about it, she answered: “There will be nobody to work if I leave on hospital!“ And then toabout me doctors at whom I was observed on preservation began to go and it is guilty to ask and explain to me that nothing was seen on a neck that nothing was, I wrote explanatory that nobody put me and did not send to office of pathology. The seam to me was made by all - horizontal, but not cosmetics though it is accurate.
A the daughter lay with me, and I could not admire it, it was really similar to me, and she was the my angel, a small beautiful angel sent me from above and the rest everything was not important any more, I knew that for the sake of it I should live by all means! It saved to me life! And I gave life to it! I so love it! We - a single whole, and I am madly glad that I have a daughter! Mother still, kissing Sashenki`s palms, remembers them on the ultrasonography screen and tells all how Sasha showed them to it, and the father prepares rods and waits will not wait when he with it goes to fishing.
to me were channelized in oncology dispensary and asked not to pull after I am written out, to visit the gynecologist - the oncologist... But it already perfect other history...