Mother, I was lost!
can Be lost each of us. All of us several times in life (for example, in a trip) this unpleasant feeling of fear, rage on felt themselves, experiences about friends who already look for us and, of course, worry. Sometimes, without knowing what to undertake, we rush about in different directions, trying to come across a trace of group.
Having found us, friends joyfully rush in our party, shake hands, embrace and, laughing, narrate about an amusing adventure - as they looked for loss. We are happy and the next several hours our main task become - not to be lost...
Even we, adults, having lost, any time we cannot think that needs to be done. What to tell about the child of 7 - 10 years? And about the three-year-old kid? How to reduce risk to a minimum to lose the child in crowd what it is possible for and it is necessary to teach the child? How to behave in the first seconds after you understood that there is no child near you? What can the lost child make at this time? And, at last, how to talk to just been child?These
and other questions are a subject of consideration of this article. We will take some recommendations of the book “School of a Survival, or 56 Ways to Protect the Child from a Crime“ written by Yu. Dubyagin and O. Bogachyova as a basis.
Part 1. Preventive measures.
1. Sew to his clothes the tags executed on cotton monophonic fabric by the typewriter with a name, a surname, phone for communication and medicamentous contraindications.
we Will give opinion of other specialist in search of people.“ First of all parents have to show responsibility. There is nothing more simply, than, going with the small child to the street, to put to him in a pocket the visiting card with the indication of the home address and phone. In general it is useful to have the business card to any of us. Take cases when the person is hit by the car or it appears in an unconsciousness for other reason. If you want, it is a safety issue of the personality“, - the deputy chief 15 - go department of GUUR SKM Ministry of Internal Affairs of the Russian Federation the militia lieutenant colonel Elena Zarembinskaya considers.
If you are abroad, then along with the tag containing information on the child in Russian and language of the country of residence, put in its pocket the business card of hotel or a paper card with the address of your residence in local language. Then the local police, will be able to contact hotel and to bring there the found child.
2. Being going to places of a big congestion of the people, dress the child in bright clothes which to you will be to notice the easiest.to
This council will be useful also to those who leave on walk to the country district. Brightly - the Little Red Riding Hood of the child flashing among bushes and trees will serve parents as a reliable reference point.
3. Leaving to places of a mass congestion of the people, do not forget to take with yourself the photos of the child which are most fully reflecting his appearance.This recommendation is especially useful to
in other countries. Without knowing language, to explain to local police officers of a sign of the child it is problematic. Having shown photos, parents strongly facilitate business. Photos need to be had fresh for what the child needs to be photographed monthly in all foreshortenings and in different clothes, in headdresses and without them. There have to be photos of the child full face, a profile, a floor - a turn. He has to smile in one photos, on others - to be serious. Its special signs - face birthmarks, scars on a hand and other features have to be accurately visible.
Going abroad, it is necessary to take with itself a small photo album with photos of all family members - and many problems just will not arise. It is desirable to photograph on vacation daily all and, going behind purchases or to excursions, to keep a photo album around. The father can have a part of photos, part - at mother. The child can put the photo of parents in a pocket.
4. Entering with the child on the street, repeat with him that he will have to undertake in case to want to take away it violently.
“You the stranger, I do not know you! This is not my father (This is not my mother)! Help! Fire!“ - the child has to remember these words and always repeat to parents when they about it ask. In this case passersby will understand that on their eyes there is not a family scene, but kidnapping. They either will stand up, or will remember the child and the attacking people on him. Having heard such shouts, the malefactor can just release the child as stealing becomes too risky.
Recommend to cry out also a surname and phone of parents, especially if at the child is for this time, and he will not forget data.
5. Entering on the square or into shop, show to the child where you will meet it if you lose each other. Do not make an appointment at lampposts or under hours, them it can appear a little.
In the big city children, as a rule, try to visit together with parents various torgovo - entertainment centers. In each of them there are perceptible objects for meetings: fountain, car, bank, toy store, cafe. Children with pleasure appoint the meeting place on duty and at a control question unmistakably call it.
Talking to children about what they will do in case are lost, the conversation form is very important.“At discussion of rules recommends to show
their expediency, and not just a categoriality. Instead of council: Address the militiaman! discussion is better: And why it is better to address the militiaman, than the passerby? or Why it is impossible to leave the place where it was lost, it is also possible to be quicker? If time allows, it is possible to dramatize a situation it was lost : what to do whom to address what to tell...,“ - Svetlana Gin recommends.
One of the major recommendations - the child of minutes five has to stand on that place where it counted itself(himself) lost. If parents were just near, and could not leave far, the child has to shout: “Mother! Father!“ This option of succession of events it is necessary to rehearse also several times houses before an exit and to repeat training of times - two in a month.
6. Remember that not only you hold the child by a hand, but also he holds you. Do not allow the child to hold you for a floor, a sleeve or the handle of a bag, to it so the easiest to lose you.Approaching
a counter or making the way to the place, necessary for you, try to hold the child ahead of yourself. Parents have to remember priorities always: at first - the child, and already then - shop!
7. If you accepted alcohol, try not to take with yourself in a trip of your child.
Unexpected point but very important. Children are lost and the drunk relatives who can butt in a drunk fight, go not to that party, to forget simply about the child.
Part 2. Just my child was here!
8. You lost the child: look back on the parties and if you did not notice it, right there move ahead to the meeting place.
the Prepared child at first some time has to stand still, hoping that it will be found at once.
Therefore parents have to move to the meeting place along a route which just moved together with the child. If to the people it is a lot of, the child has to call: “Mother! Father!“ On a voice parents can instantly find the lost child.
9. The child should not react on any offers to go to look for parents, he can ask that explained that it was lost.the Security guard can suggest the child to pass
to the room of protection, but the child should not leave anywhere. Remaining on a type of a large number of people, it will be in bigger safety, and it can be found rather. If time passed much, the child can approach the room of protection and, without coming inside, being in relative safety, to wait for results of searches.
10. If you two, one goes to the meeting place, another goes to the administrator or organizers of “festivities“ and asks to declare where you expect the baby.
Moving ahead to the meeting place, show photos of the child to the people surrounding you, asking whether they saw it.Now - that the photos of the child taken by parents in this trip will also be useful to
. As it was already noted above, these photos will be simply invaluable on a foreign trip.
11. If you noticed the child, do not call him, try not to lose sight of him and begin to move ahead to him.
In the hall it is noisy and therefore mother`s shout can be heard to the child absolutely on the other hand, and he can run in the party, opposite to parents.
12. If you missed each other with the child, and he went by train, and you remained on a platform, he has to get off at the next station and expect your emergence.
If turned out on the contrary, and you entered the car, and the child remained, he has to expect you on a platform, knowing that you will return by the following train.
needs to agree accurately with the child that active actions are always carried out by parents, and the child passively waits until it is found. In this case, by the way, to go out of the subway car at the following station and to sit at it is and is passively to wait.
13. Declaring on radio that you search for the child, make an appointment or at in advance stipulated place, or at the most perceptible, do not make appointment at information bureau. > it was told by
About it to p above, but in point 5 parents agree about a meeting at a perceptible reference point in advance. If the arrangement was not, parents have to choose this place and to call it on a loudspeaker.
14. If the child found out that he was lost, he needs to approach the administrator or the cashier and to ask the help in search of parents.
“Never frighten children by the militiaman. On the contrary, explain that if suddenly the child lost parents from a look, it has to approach safely any militiaman“, - Olga Skvortsova, the psychologist, the Magazine of the Child advises. Lv.
It is valid, the child intimidated by the militiaman, the dentist, “others aunt“ or “the bad uncle“ will not be able just to ask for the help neither the person in the uniform, nor experts in white dressing gowns, nor other adults. What to do to it? Only to stand and cry that happens in most cases to untrained kids.
15. To go to all arrangements of strangers with them for search of parents or with the offer to bring it home the child has to refuse.
If it is tried to be taken away violently, and the child forgot phone of parents, then he can shout: “I am wanted to be stolen, I do not know these people, call militia!“ .
of the Child needs to teach to shout if it is dragged somewhere. If it does not rustle and draw attention to itself(himself), then chances of its return can become scanty.
16. Having appeared in the unfamiliar area, the child has to come into any public institution, hospital, the enterprise, shop, movie theater, a drugstore and to ask to call his parents: the tag sewn on clothes or a note in a pocket will help to remind phone to him (it is better to have both).
Cannot come into apartments to strangers even if they promise you to call parents.to
the Main reference point that it is shop or movie theater, has to serve a sign and if the child is not able to read, then drawing on a show-window.Cannot use
a self-locking device, trying to arrive home if the route is unknown.to All this parents have to teach
the child. It is good to find an opportunity and to carry out a peculiar examination, having suggested it to show what he was taught to.to
For example to ask the child to approach in shop the security guard and to ask where there is a toy store or as it is possible to reach the fountain.Can approach
the administrator that the child in the presence of mother asked what data on himself he has to report that it was possible to give the qualitative announcement.
does not need to prevent without special need from working specialists of the relevant services, but here it would be very desirable to acquaint the child with them.
Part 3. What happiness! It was!
17. After you found each other, do not fall upon the child, abusing him for the wrong behavior, sort with it better mistakes which were made.Analyse
, it is correct or not you chose the place for a meeting and why your child could not find it at once.
Praise it for the correct actions after its disappearance.
Very interesting point of view is stated by Olga Skvortsova. So, parents found the lost dear baby. Let`s consider their possible reactions.
As should not react
- Aggressive reaction
“You where looked? You why escaped? You why do not obey me? Here I will complain to the father (mother) of you!“.
- “Victim“ that you were, and I already valerians a bubble drank that, thought - I will die of fear for you“.
- “Chicken - a brood hen“
“Ah you, my poor as you were frightened as you suffered much and if you were stolen and if we did not find you!“ .
“We also did not notice that you are absent“. Even if for fun - it will wound most painfully. And if seriously...
“It is good
As should react
you do not become angry. It not purposely. You do not hurry to abuse. Wait. As a rule, the parental anger which is poured out on the head just found the child - no other than a discharge after the endured stress. “Brake“ words and phrases. You will tell it everything that now you want to tell, a bit later, when you calm down. Embrace the child. Strong, sincerely and silently. Feel it, breathe a little together, look in eyes, stroke on a back. Such embraces will calm both of you.Help the child to express to
the endured feelings. “You were frightened? And what? You were afraid that I will not find you? You became angry? You became puzzled?“ . The kid can not always describe words the feelings, and help of parents is given is simply irreplaceable. Tell about the feelings - but it is quiet also without tragic element. It is important to child to understand that all have feelings that they can be very different, all of them have the right for existence.Help the child to realize
that he made correctly.“ You are a good fellow that stood still and waited for me. It is correct that asked to help the seller, but not the unfamiliar aunt“ and so on. It is important for the little man - to understand it that he is capable to take care of himself too that he can influence in some measure events.
And that then?
It is good if at you it turns out in a quiet situation, behind occupation, pleasant for both, “to return“ on couple of days ago and to discuss the incident.
As you can see to teach the child to rules of personal security in case there is a chance to be lost, quite difficult. The patience, persistence, sequence of actions is necessary.
But how to be if the child categorically does not agree to carry out safety rules, seeks to escape from parents there where it is interesting to it, without caring for feelings of mother and father?
Where to find to parents of force and time? Same it is so difficult - to remind daily the child of safety rules, to friendly check knowledge of these rules, to limit its freedom in case of ignorance of the theory or unwillingness to observe them in practice. How to motivate itself?Paula Statmen concerning studying at the same time of several safety rules declares
rigidly, but is truthful: “Some parents, perhaps, will ask: How it is possible to teach children to two skills at the same time? It is sure that it is possible to combine it. And you, undoubtedly, and will make if only not to see the child in hospital or in a morgue“.
Carry out the considered rules, and then you will hardly endure the unpleasant moments of search of own child - and photograph it as often as possible.