Until the thunder burst
On supervision of psychologists, the teenager has crisis harbingers often terrible do not look. For this reason parents do not pay special attention to them. And very much are surprised when it becomes clear that the child and all family, need serious treatment...
parents with the young man of thirteen years came To reception. They left the three-year-old daughter at home. The father, as it often happens, settled aside, as if he came just to carry out house. The head of the family in conversation of participation did not accept, it had to be involved, included in conversation - he did not show enthusiasm. Mother is active, verbose as variety actors speak, “holds the platform“. The boy is tall, ruddy, with a down over a lip and quite courageous by sight. However during all meeting which continued about an hour it it is silent and unceasing cried.
not to cope
of Claims, in a statement of mother there is, a lot of, also they quite typical property. The boy does not want to study, for lessons will not set, is interested in nothing, does not help about the house, whimsical at all, the inventor who is not adapted for life the three-year-old sister and that can take care of himself better. I am interested whether long ago adults began to notice something wrong - the son studies already in the seventh grade? Why for the first time asked for the help the expert only now? >
it was p, earlier mother and the father tried to cope. Both punished, and shamed, and helped - all family did homework, and tried to pay for marks - all for nothing. Well, and the new misfortune appeared now - the boy became “aggressive“. I ask as well as in what it is shown. After this question mother as though was changed. Its vigor, confidence in correctness, a pressure were gone. The voice began to tremble, it began to look very helpless: it is visible, said that really her oppresses.
Attack to flowers
Appears, nearly an every day the guy, having come from school, smashed a house greenhouse. Cultivation of exotic houseplants - the real mother`s passion. The family is quite provided so the house garden is arranged in due form and for considerable money. A collection of plants various, with a large number of rarities. It subject of vigilant cares and pride of the hostess.
And so, within several months every time when trials on an occasion of the next failures at school began, in response to parental reproaches and threats the boy defiantly destroyed plants. He tore out them from pots, scattered the earth, tore off leaves - generally, tried that the loss was caused maximum. And then it was locked in the room and sobbed. Similar scenes proceeded violently, exhausted all participants infinately, quite often proceeded till the dead of night.
to rise in school there was no opportunity in the Morning. Reconciliation, to tears and promises to improve, happened during the day. Long it is impossible to become angry about the son, it was visible that he regrets and suffers the fact that he created. Most of all parents frightened that when it smashed plants, looked as mad - pale, oskalena teeth, around sees nothing and does not hear. If to try to stop it, escaped with an improbable force, could strike strongly.
Well here can be told
Behind a mask of the hooligan? The boy obviously suffered from sharp crisis frustration. What happened to it - symptoms of the disguised depression of teenagers which is rather difficult for diagnosing. It begins often with decrease in progress. Adults of the child bring up, punish, reproach and quite often receive in reply aggressive flashes.
the Situation in this case developed favorably: necessary medicamentous therapy in combination with family psychotherapy was appointed, work was carried out with all family, including the three-year-old sister. Life of this family and a condition of the teenager were adjusted.
Analyzing the events, I would pay attention of readers to several moments. It is pleasant that parents decided to ask for the help the psychotherapist, but not in militia. Many could regard similar behavior as hooliganism and wrecking. It is a pity that they did not come to the expert earlier while symptoms of frustration were not such destructive, and tried to cope, using educational measures.
Meticulously restoring frustration history with parents, we found out that the beginning of difficulties at school coincided with emergence time in a family of the younger child. By the way, and flowers mother was fond, staying at home with the baby so the greenhouse appeared approximately then.
meanwhile to lose position of the only child in a family - serious test moreover in ten years, during a time of entry into pubertatny age. This time of a hormonal storm when emotionality becomes unstable, mood without the reason spoils, the self-assessment falls moreover and to appearance there are different, not always pleasant changes.
Peer without condemnation
Is possible, crisis passes your child, but to it each parent has to be ready. It is necessary to be on the alert and to prick up the ears if noticed that the behavior of the school student obviously differs from habitual. What worked well earlier is impossible now. Before sociable and talkative, the child keeps mum and reflects. Was fearless and relaxed, and became shy and careful. Was soul of any company, and now fell in love with a privacy.Should considering
that frustration of mood at teenage age are most often shown by working capacity violations because ability to concentration of attention decreases and too a lot of things distract from study. So was also in our case.I do not want to tell
Ya that all poor students need treatment. But parents should attend if school disadaptation is shown at before successful pupil. And if they see that all their efforts to help do not lead to success. In this case the child needs the help of experts. Unfortunately, mothers and fathers not always distinguish crisis harbingers.As we already told
, quite often in them there is nothing specific, and they are shown gradually, gradually. Meanwhile in the majority of similar states if treatment was begun earlier, it would be much more effectively and quicker.